How does one keep from feeling overwhelmed?

My husband and I have been trying to make lists and such to help keep us organized for the eventual move to England but sometimes I still feel overwhelmed.  It seems like there is so much to do.  We need to sell our house, find an apartment, move, pay off our credit card and car so we don't have those hanging over us in England, look into my spousal visa, get the cat visas and find boarding for them in England.  We're also trying to decide if it would be better for my DH to go to England first and try and find a job and flat or if we should take our chances and both go over together.

I'm trying to break it all down into little bits but sometimes it just seems like so much.  The good thing is I know I am not alone and that others have gone thru this before.  If anyone has any suggestions, they would be most appreciated.

Thanks,
Cleacia
Texas

Well if youre anything like me Cleacia (and to some extent youre probably like everyone here who's done it or is contemplating it)you'll have good and bad days trying to sort everything out. Dont put too much pressure on yourself, just try and prioritze. What would be the absolute minimum you'd need to do if you were just to pack up and leave? Visa? the visa's good to use for 90 days. The house? put it on the market to coincide with your move (Taking into account how long homes in your area are staying on the market, speak to a real estate agent) Where ya going to live? Do you or your husband have any relatives in the U.K that could put you up temporarily?...Point is, don't get overwhelmed by it all. Sit down , figure out what ya need to do and ask lots of questions, people here are great at answering questions and theres tons of official government websites both here and in the U.K along with this one that can help you with visa questions. When something pops into your head , punch it into a search engine and read,read,read.....This site's broken up into categories and if ya look hard enough you may find someones already asked and recieved an answer to a question that youre pondering......good peeps here ........they'll help ya out.....

Been here 3 years and still feel overwhelmed at times..Good luck to you

Dont put too much pressure on yourself, just try and prioritze.

That I am trying to do...lol.  We feel that putting the house on the market is the first thing to do and we have an agent coming by tomorrow to look at it.  Houses in our area are taking 6-12 months to sell.  We originally picked the area we live in because it was brand new and the area was fresh for development.  This may backfire on us because they are still building new homes here.  What we're hoping is to find someone who wants a home now and doesn't have the time or money to put into a brand new home (though ours was built in '01).  We also plan to give to charity (already donated tons of stuff..lol) and have some garage sales with friends in order to consolidate our 3 bedroom house into a 2 bedroom apartment and then eventually into mere boxes for the move to England.

Do you or your husband have any relatives in the U.K that could put you up temporarily?

We have my husband's family but they have a 3 bedroom house that already has his parents, grandmother and brother living in it.  They offered for us to stay with them but they have a Greyhound and German Shepherd and neither is fond of cats (which we have)...lol.  If DH goes over before me then he plans to stay at home until he has a job and has secured a flat.  I'm guessing we could board the cats for a couple of weeks if we needed to but that would take precious money away that we need to set up a home.  If all else fails, there is a B&B that I stayed at when visiting that is only about 10 pound per day.

I have done some searches and there is tons of info to be found .  From what I've read here, everyone does seem eager to help which is wonderful.  

Thank you ,
Cleacia
Texas

Lists, lists, lists, and more lists.  Lists on bulletin boards, prioritized for day, week, month, etc.  A notebook with lots of lists in it, checked off when completed.  Lots of research in books and online, much of it from this site and forum, which generated more lists.

It sounds funny and totally anal, but the lists helped me keep a tiny bit of sanity.  I felt totally overwhelmed and crazy many times, but I kept coming back to my lists.

Hang in there, this too shall pass.  

Stephanie

I think once we get to England, things will be a piece of cake compared to the move from the US to the UK...lol.  The main thing for us will be to find a good location to live in.  My DH's mum is already finding homes for us even though we're still looking at a year before we get there...lol.  The hospital I work for has a branch in Sheffield so that is always a possiblity.  

It's hard not to get overwhelmed but I guess stepping back and taking a deep breath and going on from there is what will help makes things less overwhelming.

Cleacia
Texas

Depends where in UK your gonna live..Having this forum helps ALOT trust me.

still feel overwhelmed and homesick ALOT.. but trying to find diffrent activities to do.

If your working and socilizing it makes it better...I am going tomorrow to see about volunteering at local hospital a bit.

It's not all bad...some days are worse then others.

Keep your chin up and you'll get there in the end

I guess I might be anal too then...lol.  I love to use lists....lol.  We have started a notebook as well for important info.  Once we get our house sold and moved into an apartment, I'll be able to set up a little area devoted to this.  I look at this move as an adventure, however, I don't want to forget anything in the process...lol.

Cleacia

If your working and socilizing it makes it better...I am going tomorrow to see about volunteering at local hospital a bit.

I do agree with this.  I will be going over to the UK as a nurse so hopefully work won't be hard to find, however, I think I'd like to take a few months and settle in.  During that time, I'd like to do some volunteer work either at a hospital or animal shelter.  When my husband came to the States he nearly went crazy during the 8 months to get his work permit.  He couldn't do anything since he couldn't work, go to school or drive.  I want something to occupy my time.  DH was a trooper to come to the States and leave all that he knew, so I can do the same for him.  I'm not kidding myself though, I know it will take some adjusting but I think things will work out.  Having this board will help but I'm also trying to think about this in a very positive light.  

I'll keep my chin up though .
Cleacia

This is from my perspective  , and this could apply to anyone: I would highly recommend having a backup plan before you move there in case it doesn't work out... I really wouldn't get rid of everything you have in the States, in case it turns out you don't like it as much as you thought you would.  (That happened to me... once the enchantment wears off of living in a new country, you realise it's no better than America... just different.) Just be really careful, and give it time. Make sure that if you do stay there, you're doing it for YOU, not to make your husband happy.

Finding housing and even a job in England can be difficult, even for citizens. Also, about being a nurse in the UK... I'm not sure if this is true in all cases, but I hear that nurses who work for the NHS are overworked and underpaid because there are not enough to meet demand?  :-/ Correct me if I'm wrong... you probably already know the facts and figures better than I do?

You want to know how I did it? I made everyone else do it for me. I was getting married 6 days before we left and with the wedding and moving there was no way I could have kept my cool. So I got a wedding planner. I made her do everything for me. I was living at home and didn't have many bills in my name, but those took only a few hours to take care of and my dad did most of them. I had my car which I found hard to sell and so I left it with my folks, who used it for awhile, but eventually sold it a few months after I left.

I had a bedroom, so not much stuff. But I packed it all. I only brought my clothes and a few knick-knacks with me. I really wanted to simplify things. (Plus, we plan on moving back in a few years, didn't want to pack it all up and ship it back.)

I was mostly in a daze the entire time, but the moments I did feel overwhelmed, I just told myself to get through it because it wasn't going to last forever.  So that's what I recommend. Stop for a moment and tell yourself that it won't last forever. You'll get through it and when you do, you'll look back at it all as a crazy time, but well worth it in the end.

I can't manage without having my lists...very important for me to keep somewhat organized (and makes you feel like you've accomplished something as you cross things off!!).  I shipped a lot of my stuff over along with my FH's belongings but waited until the very last to sell my car.  Ultimately I had to sell it through Carmax and although I didn't make as much as if I'd been able to sell it privately, it was sooooo easy!  Still was able to pay it off and make a few extra bucks as well!

One thing to be careful of...before you spend a lot of money shipping your furniture over, make sure it will fit through the more narrow doorways of English houses.  We shipped over my sofa and chair and NEITHER fit through the door of our house!  They're both sitting in the garage and we're going to try to sell them - hopefully to someone who has French doors!  What a waste of money!

Best of luck to you and try not to stress too much.  You WILL get everything done!

This is from my perspective  , and this could apply to anyone: I would highly recommend having a backup plan before you move there in case it doesn't work out... I really wouldn't get rid of everything you have in the States, in case it turns out you don't like it as much as you thought you would.  (That happened to me... once the enchantment wears off of living in a new country, you realise it's no better than America... just different.) Just be really careful, and give it time. Make sure that if you do stay there, you're doing it for YOU, not to make your husband happy.

Finding housing and even a job in England can be difficult, even for citizens. Also, about being a nurse in the UK... I'm not sure if this is true in all cases, but I hear that nurses who work for the NHS are overworked and underpaid because there are not enough to meet demand?  :-/ Correct me if I'm wrong... you probably already know the facts and figures better than I do?

From what I understand, being a nurse in England is no different than nursing in the States in regard to being overworked...lol.  I take care of 5-8 patients...usually 8 so any less than that will be a walk in the park for me...lol...lol.  

Cleacia
Texas

I was mostly in a daze the entire time, but the moments I did feel overwhelmed, I just told myself to get through it because it wasn't going to last forever.  So that's what I recommend. Stop for a moment and tell yourself that it won't last forever. You'll get through it and when you do, you'll look back at it all as a crazy time, but well worth it in the end.

It's amazing what a few days does for one...lol....I am already feeling much less overwhelmed.  I think like you....I will look back on these times as crazy but oh so worth it..lol.  It's all like a crzy fun adventure...lol.

Cleacia
Texas

One thing to be careful of...before you spend a lot of money shipping your furniture over, make sure it will fit through the more narrow doorways of English houses.  We shipped over my sofa and chair and NEITHER fit through the door of our house!  They're both sitting in the garage and we're going to try to sell them - hopefully to someone who has French doors!  What a waste of money!

Best of luck to you and try not to stress too much.  You WILL get everything done!

We had planned on selling all of our furniture and just shipping boxes.  We have a huge bedroom set which would never fit in any of the homes we could buy over there...lol...it will be sold (*sob*).

I am all for lists and I too like to see each item crossed off.  Makes me think I am actually getting closer and closer to the goal .

Cleacia
Texas