Hi there Mary,
I just found this board recently myself and like the others can relate to what you're saying.
Coping mechanisms - and contraindications.
1. Pretend it's a dream and none of it matters. (Only problem with this one is that it messes with your sleeping patterns.)
2. Block everything and everyone around you out. Go wherever you want to be in your head. (Caution - hubby's don't tend to like this one.)
Those are the first two I tried and they worked - for a while...and are truly meant to bring a small smile to ya.
What I've found that helps is a hobby. I do beadwork and hubby recently found an outlet for beads in England and ordered me a bunch. I've been making earrings and people are genuinely interested when they see them - Where did you get those? How did you make them? It starts conversations and that's half the battle for me.
I'm not sure how it is where you are - but here they have night classes in differing types of dance - some just for the ladies only - another place to meet folks.
Having something small to break into pieces from time to time helps take the edge off - and most of all, this is an awesome opportunity to create a bond between yourself and your spouse that most people will never experience.
(All Advice freely given - just please hand it back to me when I need it.)
Great you found the site as well!