DISCUSSION: Before you move: Things to really think about

just, you know...  you dont want to overwhelm people! 

i would suggest a wee bit 'moderation' might be in order!     

I'd agree there.

The stereotype of the loud, gobby Yank.  Cringe.  Ducks.  Runs.

I'd agree there.

The stereotype of the loud, gobby Yank.  Cringe.  Ducks.  Runs.

For the love of Monty Python.....runaway...runaway!!!!

I second the Netmums recommendation. It's a good resource to have handy.

I think each case is different.... I know more people here and am making more friends than the years I lived in Atlanta.

I think it depends on how you define "friends" too...

Some people just seem to have really bad luck .....or bad karma or bad support or just bad things in general.

I hope it stays away from me!

I think each case is different.... I know more people here and am making more friends than the years I lived in Atlanta.

I think it depends on how you define "friends" too...

Some people just seem to have really bad luck .....or bad karma or bad support or just bad things in general.

I hope it stays away from me!

I totally agree!!  Here's to hoping it stays away from me, also. 

I second the Netmums recommendation. It's a good resource to have handy.

I've heard lots of good things about Netmums and/or Mumsnet... i sometimes wonder if some of the pregnancy-related questions that are posted on UKY wouldn't be better posted someplace like Netmums?

I think it depends on how you define "friends" too...

I think that's a very good point.  I am, by nature, a 'friendly' and helpful person.  If you stop and ask me for directions, I'll do my darndest to help you.  I pick up items that other people have dropped.  I open doors for other people, let others on the lift before me, and generally try to help others wherever I can.  I've been known to give part (or sometimes all) of my lunch or snack to the homeless and hungry, I bend down to speak to small children on eye level, and if you've only got a couple of items I'll let you in front of me in line at the grocery store.

However, there is a difference between 'friendly' and 'friends'.  Friends implies a much higher degree of intimacy.  While I am 'friendly' to just about everyone, I am 'friends' with very few.  Please don't take it personally...it's just that for me it usually takes time to get to know someone well enough to make the leap from one to the other. 

I've found it much easier to make friends with English people here than it was to make friends with Americans in the US. I've never made any effort to make friends with Americans in Britain, other than typing on this website, because I've never felt the need. I guess it just has to do with the individual.

http:// [nofollow] I have always found the few Americans I have met to be the type I wouldn't have wanted as friends in America.  The Brits are so much more down to earth and realistic about things.  It is also nice to not have to deal with the super egos that you find in the states.  I didn't make a lot of British friends until I had my son and started go to parent and toddler groups.

I have lived here for almost five years now and absolutely dread going back to the states, even for a short visit.  However, when I first moved here I couldn't stand it and wanted to go home everyday.  Now I would never move back there.

http://I have always found the few Americans I have met to be the type I wouldn't have wanted as friends in America.  The Brits are so much more down to earth and realistic about things.  It is also nice to not have to deal with the super egos that you find in the states.  I didn't make a lot of British friends until I had my son and started go to parent and toddler groups.

I have lived here for almost five years now and absolutely dread going back to the states, even for a short visit.  However, when I first moved here I couldn't stand it and wanted to go home everyday.  Now I would never move back there.

It probably does have a lot to do with the individual, and possibly the location.  Not just where you live in the UK, but where you've lived in the US as well. 

When I was going through elementary school, I moved a lot and had to make friends fairly quickly.  Its easy to have casual friends and acquaintences, much harder to develop a very close friendship with someone.  I had some very close friendships back home in AZ, but when I moved to Utah, I found that although I knew a lot of people, there were few I could consider a real friend.  I did make some, but they were mostly people who had come from other states, since the general feel for Utahns is "insular".  My Fiance has been to most places in the States, from the upper northeast clear down to Florida, and from the Pacific Northwest through California and the Southwest, and he has said Utah was the least friendly of all the places he has visited.

I've lived here for 10 years and still don't feel like I have anyone I can call a true friend.  I've lived in the town I'm in now for 2 and a half, and don't really even "know" anyone I could maybe turn to in a time of crisis.  I'm very much on my own most of the time.  If I lived on the East coast, I'm sure I'd have several friends which it would be very easy to be close with.  I have a tendency to get along with people from there a lot more easily than with people out here.  I went to a 5-day training in Oregon last month and got on immediately with another woman there from DC.  We still talk regularly on IMs.  More often than I do with my old friends from AZ!

My fiance has said that he's sure I'll have no trouble making friends there, but I saw this post and immediately started worrying.  If people over there are as insular as they are here, I will have some trouble.  But then I remembered an incident when I was visitiing in April where I had a very fun conversation for about 30 minutes with the girl behind the counter in a chocolate shop while he stood uncomfortably by the door.  I do have a tendency to talk to stragers.  Is that a bad thing over there? We'll be living very close to London, and I'll most likely be working in the city.  Is it easier to make friends there?

Thanks all for the great "check list"!  Since I will soon be moving to the UK from Oregon (just as soon as my Visa is approved), it's good to know that my fiance and I have gone over nearly all of these quesitons.  Since he is from Germany, he's already been through the moving to a foreign country thing and has been really good about being open with me about the things I will go through and how long it might take for me to get settled in over there.  My biggest worry (other than finding a job, which I don't need to worry about right away) is making new friends.  It's the one draw back.  I am a fairly "go with the flow" sort of person, laid back and open minded, but I am also somewhat shy and find it difficult to make friends.  It's good to know I'm not the only one that will have this problem.   It just means I need to try harder!

But also, to a country where you may be confused to find that despite this lack of separation, Anglicans are generally far more secular,church attendance is very low compared with some parts of the US and religion is seen as a private affair (as I understand it, speaking as a Brit).

YES!  This is so true.  Good point, HME. 

The whole time I was there, I looked for a big "superchurch", like I enjoy in the States.  Never found one, so every time I went to church, it was a bit awkward.  I tried a few different ones, and they were all small & super-formal, like they are not used to having visitors.  Kind of put me off, so I rarely went the whole year I was there (plus worked lots of Sundays, but that was a different story).  Almost every person I knew in the UK who went to church was another American!  It's something people don't talk about and would rather you kept to yourself.

That very much depends on the CHurch.  If you went to an evangelical place you'd have the entire congragation swarming over you asking questions!

Vicky

It's something people don't talk about and would rather you kept to yourself.

aaahhhhh yes.... ain't it refreshing!?!