The "we will see" how it all works out...

Well it has been difficult for my immediate family dealing with my upcoming move to UK.  I mean in all honesty= I cannot wait!  I am with many emotions though but mainly with a "we shall see what happens" feeling.  So I am not sure how to answer my friends and family who ask how I feel about this move and how permanent it REALLY is.
I always respond with the same ole I am excited and we will see how it all works out.
My boyfriend gets a bit sensitive about this but how am I really sposed to respond?
The truth is no one REALLY knows what will happen.  I have the best in mind and my heart tells me it will be wonderful.
How did you respond to these questions before moving??

Most people did not question me.  My friends and co-workers were all super excited for me and some wished they were in my shoes.  Many of course expressed they would miss me terribly but said they "knew" I was doing the right thing for me.

When I have my mind made up to do something, I'm firm about it so no-one tried to convince me otherwise--they would have gotten nowhere anyway.  In my mind this is permanent because I have committed myself to it through marriage.  But, true no-one every really knows the future, and we take each day as it comes.

Only my father was/ is perplexed at my move.  He would be though as he and I are very different people.  Whatever, I don't feel the need to defend my decisions and life choices to him (or anyone) anymore and that is a very liberating feeling! 

I think I played it down a bit to save my mom and one of my brothers from having hurt feelings. They were very, very supportive but REALLY didn't want me to go. So I played down the permanence quite a bit. But now that they know and love dh and know I'm happy here, they're less worried about it and how long it's now been.... I did sometimes feel guilty for acting like it wasn't necessarily a permanent move, but it was the easiest thing for them to swallow at the time....

  what if instead of saying "well see what happens" you say something like "we'll see what happens...if it doesn't work out there we can always move back to the US"...maybe your DF thinks you're saying your relationship won't work out...

I'm with Penguin (wait...Penguin? That's not the name I associate with that photo. You kids and your crazy name changing...). Your boyfriend is probably reading doubts about him into your phrasing. I was going to say guys are sensitive about these things, but come to think of it, women are too. People in a relationship listen hard for cues about how you're feeling and how committed you are, so make sure you aren't communicating indifference to him if that's not what you mean. Your family, though -- tell them whatever you think is best.

Me, personally, I've been saying this is permanent, because I'm older and it probably is. On the other hand, I'm not sure that's how I *feel* about it. I moved away from my home state 30 years ago and I still can't accept that I'll probably never live there again. It's like I have this instinct to drag my bones back there to die or something.

I agree with Penguin and Stoatula--just make sure he knows how much you love him and will stick with the relationship.  You can never say it too much.  I tell my hubby all the time so that when I do get down once in a while and miss people, etc from "home" he is not threatened that I will leave him.

I agree with Penguin.


Guys take things the wrong way somtimes, and you saying we will see its like your not sure, and he prob thinks your not sure about you being together...


I know when I was dating  earlyer in the relastionship my SO I told him lets take it slow he thought I was breakingup, he took it pretty bad, till hes mom had to explain to him! I learned my lesson. lol

I understand.  BY the way, what is with the brits or europeans in general not "dating"?  Personally, I like to take my time and get to really know someone before we are officially a couple.  I remember that being a little issue four years ago.
 

I understand.  BY the way, what is with the brits or europeans in general not "dating"?  Personally, I like to take my time and get to really know someone before we are officially a couple.  I remember that being a little issue four years ago.
 

Do you know, that's not the first time I've heard that one.  I wonder if it's true.  In my own experience it kind of is true because from day one of our relationship my now husband described us as "boyfriend and girlfriend".  It did come on fast, but luckily we were both ready for it at this time in our lives and while we are still getting to know each other in a way, it has and is all working out.

We don't 'date'.  But we might be 'seeing someone', which is a pre-cursor to 'going out together', aka being officially boyfriend and girlfriend.

Being boyfriend and girlfriend doesn't come until after 'the conversation' - a concept which I think is universal!

 

Vicky

My wife hate are you living together as if you are married and she would always reply no we are going out, we are engaged, but untill I say my vows we are not married. We dated got to know each other and built our relationship to something strong that will we hope last for many years.

Indy

I'm with Penguin (wait...Penguin? That's not the name I associate with that photo. You kids and your crazy name changing...).

yaya for everyone agreeing with me lol

um...yeah I was reeeeka