Friend turned away at Heathrow for a visit to BF, needs advice please!

A friend of mine on an LDR community had planned a two-month visit to the UK to be with her boyfriend. She's 23 and quit her job in order to be able to come for a long visit.

Immigration was quite nasty to her and the woman apparently treated her badly and accused her of lying and denied her entry. 

From what I've been told, the officer didn't like that she didn't bring her bank statement with her, and didn't like that she and the bf hadn't met prior to this visit. The officer also twisted her words when she was trying to explain they met online, and when the officer called her bf and the bf said they hadn't met yet, she got accused of lying. 

bf is not employed and lives with his parents, who support the relationship and were okay with the long visit.  The officer wouldn't call the bf's parents when my friend offered the number, and didn't like it that she didn't know what his parent's did for a living.

So, she's devastated, her bf and his parents are outraged at immigration, and she's not sure what to do.

When she goes back, what should she bring/say?  I suggested both a letter from her bf and from his parents since she'll be staying with the parents....as most of you know, I just entered for 2 months and once I showed the letter from Tim, I got a stamp and a wave. 

I also suggested dressing nicer...does that really help?  She told me she was wearing a hoodie and jeans.

She's contemplating a visitor's visa, but someone on another forum (LJ) told her that you'd still get hassled if you apply for a visitor visa before you get there.

Does anyone have any advice for her? 

If she goes and meets her bf in Prague and they both fly back to the UK together, will she have an easier time since she'd be able to point him out in the UKC line? 

What is it all about?  Do they just have a thing against online relationships?  Young love?  Or what?
I have no idea what to suggest but makes you wonder if, in the first instance, she had simply said she was there as a tourist it would have gone better.  They can't start hassling tourists, can they?  What did they actually do, put her on the next plane back?

Yep. She went straight back to Pittsburgh, so basically spent 16 hours in the air between the flight there and back home. 

*edit* I don't know what the deal is. I mean, I'm only a few years older and I got in for 2 months with no problems/hassle.  OTOH, Tim and met in 2005 in the US and I was able to tell the agent that, I have no clue if that helped me or not!

Anna, background reading:  http://londonelegance.com/transpondia/usuk/inetpersexp.shtml

Your friend will need an entry clearance next time.

If she was abused, she (or better, her parents) should write to their Congressman and b*tch like the hounds of hell.

Sadly, there's naught to be done about it from this side.  I have tried.  Actually, physically in sit-down meetings with them.  And got nowhere.  It's just a burden carried by American women. 

garry,

does that mean she has to apply for a visitor's visa?

not to flog a dead horse, but i really feel embarrassed when I hear stories like this. Its like the HO or ECO / IO have a vendetta against on-line relationships when clearly, this is becoming a more popular and successful way of meeting a partner/friend, without the previous stigmas attached to how you look and all that jazz.

Seems like we are still somehow, unwilling to accept and embrace this new technology as a way to meet someone.

On a side note : this experience sounds exactly like the woman who bounced my fiancee (when we entered the country together) at heathrow in july.

DO they have something "against" American women?

Because when I got to Heathrow a little over a month ago, my IO kept telling me "I don't believe you...I don't believe you" when I said I was there to visit my boyfriend for only two weeks.  He asked me everything from how much money I had, how much I had in the bank, how much in credit cards, why I had information that I did, etc.  He FINALLY let me in, but still.....the guy was a REAL jerk, and honestly, I'm scared to go back even after (hopefully) getting my spousal visa.

Grrrrrr......

garry,

does that mean she has to apply for a visitor's visa?

Yes, hon.  There's no law requiring it, but for all practical purposes, she's a 23 year old who is unemployed and got bounced.  She was high risk when she landed and now she's very high risk.

DO they have something "against" American women?

Yes they do.  Going back for quite some time too. 

And while I can make a compellingly logical argument why the perception is wrong, there are scant opportunities to do so.

Thanks garry.  

It's a completely sucky situation for her, especially when I just got here all of three weeks
ago saying how I hardly got asked any questions and then she gets blasted like that!

Yes they do.  Going back for quite some time too. 

And while I can make a compellingly logical argument why the perception is wrong, there are scant opportunities to do so.

I understand the thinking behind it - oh, she's young, unemployed, and coming over for a boy so ding! she'll overstay, but why don't they do the same to young men who come over to see their gfs?

I understand the thinking behind it - oh, she's young, unemployed, and coming over for a boy so ding! she'll overstay, but why don't they do the same to young men who come over to see their gfs?

Less of occurance, there are far more US women coming over to meet UK boyfriends, subjectively they are less likely to overstay, this isn't sexist but it is far easier for a woman to come over, overstay and either not work or do things like child minding under the radar then it is for men to do, and most important men don't tend keep diaries!

but why don't they do the same to young men who come over to see their gfs?

What Kitson said.   They don't have the same reputation.  It's a tough pill to swallow, but that's "what is".

I advise reading the link I posted above.

What Kitson said.   They don't have the same reputation.  It's a tough pill to swallow, but that's "what is".

I advise reading the link I posted above.

Wow, I guess I was just lucky then?  Or did it really come down to be being on the "high end" of the 20s, dressing well, and bringing a letter from Tim?

I sent her the link to the site and to this thread, and I suggested she join the forum here, because I found this place to be the best source for help over just asking around on LJ or whathaveyou.

Less of occurance, there are far more US women coming over to meet UK boyfriends, subjectively they are less likely to overstay, this isn't sexist but it is far easier for a woman to come over, overstay and either not work or do things like child minding under the radar then it is for men to do, and most important men don't tend keep diaries!

Curious....what does a diary have to do with anything? Because they'd read it?  Guess it's a good thing mine is online? 

I do not want to hijack this thread, but it seems overkill to start something similar.  Garry, I read the link you offered above and was never nervous about being bounced before, but now I am!
It reads: if you are travelling with minimal funds, if you have no way to explain what you are doing in the UK, or if your travel history starts to look conspicuous, then the entry clearance is an option to check out.

I am sure I am being paranoid (as I often am), but I was just in England last month and am returning for Christmas for a week. I am a 28 year old American woman. Will this raise flags that I should be prepared to deal with? Should I be traveling with cash on me or does a bank statement verify that you have adequate funds? (what is adequate?)  I always have my return itinerary with me and that has been enough before, but will frequent travel necessitate more than that?

Anna - best of luck to your friend!  Poor girl.

I do not want to hijack this thread, but it seems overkill to start something similar.  Garry, I read the link you offered above and was never nervous about being bounced before, but now I am!
It reads: if you are travelling with minimal funds, if you have no way to explain what you are doing in the UK, or if your travel history starts to look conspicuous, then the entry clearance is an option to check out.

I am sure I am being paranoid (as I often am), but I was just in England last month and am returning for Christmas for a week. I am a 28 year old American woman. Will this raise flags that I should be prepared to deal with? Should I be traveling with cash on me or does a bank statement verify that you have adequate funds? (what is adequate?)  I always have my return itinerary with me and that has been enough before, but will frequent travel necessitate more than that?

Anna - best of luck to your friend!  Poor girl.

mirra-

by no means am I "the expert", but this is what I brought with me on Oct 17th when I came over for 2 months. I'm 29, btw:

-return ticket
-bank statement
-100 Cash (GBP)
-letter from Tim inviting me to stay
-letter from my mom (I live with her) stating how much I contribute to the household funds

and all I needed was the letter from Tim stating he invited me to stay.  In another thread I posted the conversation with the Officer, but it came down to me telling him I had a letter from Tim, him looking it over and then just stamping me in. 

I also wore a skirt and blouse for travel so I looked a bit more professional over your average young person.