Worse Than An IA

Mom just called to tell me my sister has died. All that is known so far is she and her boyfriend went to St. Louis for a trip, she came home and went to bed. She was found in bed. The reason is not known yet, but she had a history of heart problems, plus other health issues.

I have been at odds with her our whole lives, but never wanted anything like this.

Continuing on, because it is all weighing heavily at the moment, I am sitting here feeling like a prize sh*t and have been since the call. As I mentioned, she and I have never gotten along, but somewhere deep inside we did love each other. Lately it has been WAY deep, because we haven't even been talking. Dad and I have been at odds since March because of it, and hadn't talked since. Now it is too late to patch things up with her.

Dad and I talked a few minutes ago, and nothing was mentioned about all the ickiness that has been going on, the not talking because of me being upset with her. All that disappeared, but I didn't want this to be the reason we started talking yet.

They arrived home about 10 or so this morning, and she told him she was tired and was going to bed and would see her later. When he went to check on her because she'd been in there so long, it was too late. Dad said the coroner says it appears she went to sleep and just didn't wake up. Dad will be calling her heart doctor in the morning to see what he might be able to tell  what happened. She was 36.

We were unwinding after taking MIL to the airport, having a few bottles of beer and watching a dvd. I'd only had three, but didn't think I should make the 78 mile trip after them. We will head to mom's in the morning. Mom will have people with her tonight and dad is staying at his brother's.

I'm aware I am in shock, and maybe it will seem real tomorrow. Maybe.

Thanks everyone for listening.

Oh no, TamaMoo!  All I can offer is lots of virtual hugs.  I'll hold you and your family in my thoughts. (((TamaMoo)))

Oh Tama, I am so very sorry for your loss (((hugs)))

Oh my gosh. That is dreadful and I'm so sorry.

Sorry to hear about your sister, Tama.  It will be a considerable shock to you, no matter what your relationship was.  Losing a sibling is tough.

Thanks all. That was written in the initial, raw stages of first finding out, without much thought or even awareness. I just had to get it out.

The coroner still hasn't been able to talk to her doctor, but it has been said that she took her blood sugar reading prior to going to bed, and it was seriously low. She took something to try to raise it, but perhaps should have stayed awake. You don't think of those things when you aren't feeling good.

I find consolation in knowing she was happy with her new job and new relationship, and had recently lost some of the weight she has been trying to lose for a while. She was happy, went to bed happy, and went peacefully. May be a strange way to look at it, but it helps.

We knew before we went away that a neighbour and our daughter's singing teacher had a mysterious form of cancer.  Back home to discover that it is untreatable and she may have only days or weeks.  Very sad news indeed. 

So very sorry to hear that,  BD. It just seems to unfair.

We knew before we went away that a neighbour and our daughter's singing teacher had a mysterious form of cancer.  Back home to discover that it is untreatable and she may have only days or weeks.  Very sad news indeed. 

So sorry to hear this BD.  Big hugs to you.

Aww, sorry to hear that BD (((hugs)))

Mom had a mild heart attack yesterday.  She spent last night in the hospital and had three stents put in today. She is going to be fine after some rest, but being 4000 miles away during all this sucks. She was at our house,  because she is birdsitting Joey. Fortunately,  she called Chris and he took her. We fly home tomorrow, which helps. Otherwise I'd be losing my mind even though Chris and my aunt have both assured me she is fine.

Oh man, Tama, that's no good.
Hard being far away, even on holiday !

Hope your mother makes a good recovery, Tama.  There is no "convenient" time for these things of course but it always seems worse if you're far away.

Tama I feel for you. I lost my mother in May, and got the news via a call from DH while I was on a bus in Manchester. I had been to the US 6 weeks before, and she had a hospital stay then. When I left, she was apologizing for not feeling well enough to go shopping and all the other things we typically did when I came for a visit.

I truly hope this is just a 'blip' with respect to your mother's health, as a heart attack often is. In any case, I know that helpless feeling (and a bit of guilt) that comes with not being there 'at the time'. As BD said, there's no 'convenient' time for these things.

Take care of yourself, and all the best and hopes for a speedy recovery for your mom.