Just wanted to chime in and say that if you email the Etsy customer service folk and explain your problem, they will get back to you pretty quickly. (At least, that was my experience.) Having said that though, they might not be very helpful. I had ordered a fairly pricey cake topper for my wedding last fall, and it arrived damaged. The seller quickly got pretty nasty with me when I asked for a partial refund or for it to be fixed/remade. Like you, I had been trying to be nice and not leave negative feedback, and the window for that eventually closed. The Etsy admins, while they responded quickly, essentially said there was nothing they could do, and since PayPal wouldn't get involved, I ended up being out the money.
Anyway, not such an encouraging story, I know, but hopefully you will have a better outcome! If it helps, the email address I used was abuse@etsy.com. good luck!