How To Walk Down the Street.

I mean if I am meant to figure out how to get out of a corner shop when two teenage mothers push their gigantic prams into the shop, then people can make it known they need to get by if we don't notice them.

 

I want to see a line of hand-holders face off against the phalanx of 3 giant baby strollers I encountered on Baker Street the other day.  It was a nice, wide section of pavement -- completely blocked by the trio walking side by side.  I momentarily wanted a battering ram.*  Don't mind me, I'll be in the bus lane. 


*no children were harmed in my fleeting fantasy. 

I want to see a line of hand-holders face off against the phalanx of 3 giant baby strollers I encountered on Baker Street the other day.  It was a nice, wide section of pavement -- completely blocked by the trio walking side by side.  I momentarily wanted a battering ram.*  Don't mind me, I'll be in the bus lane. 


*no children were harmed in my fleeting fantasy. 

LOL! 

I can't pretend to have Pedestrian Rage because walking is pretty easy going where I live.  If I had to do the London commute every day like my sister in law I might though.  I'd probably have Train Rage and Tube Rage too.

When I'm in London I try to do defensive walking like Mindy described, dodging and weaving.  Anyone who isn't a single adult doing a familiar route at pace is a hazard. Probably all of us have been a hazard at one time or another.  Whether hand-holders, text-messagers, pram-pushers, map-checkers, photo-shooters, window-shoppers, shoe-tie-ers, ankle-twisters, or zimmer-framers...all must be navigated by the foot soldier as in a game of Frogger. 

  phalanx

great word!

Whether hand-holders, text-messagers, pram-pushers, map-checkers, photo-shooters, window-shoppers, shoe-tie-ers, ankle-twisters, or zimmer-framers...all must be navigated by the foot soldier as in a game of Frogger. 

  Well said!

Amazing post!

The thing I hate the most is when people stop dead in their tracks in the middle of the pavement. Similar to people who stop at the bottom of an escalator.  Move!!!!

Escalator people are the worst! What did you expect at the top of the escalator?! It's normally floor, walls, some form of ceiling, get moving!!! Stop looking around with your mouth open and get out of my way.

People that stop to gawp in central London generally are annoying, move out of the way if you want to stop, stop next to the shops or on the kerb not in the middle of the street, and if you do stop dead, don't get mad if I barge into you and snarkily say "s'cuse me" I have forward momentum and can't stop in time!

Also I get really really bad travel pass rage. Get your fricking ticket OUT of your pocket BEFORE approaching the barriers! Don't spend ten minutes blocking up the only functioning barrier as you search through every pocket imaginable for your travel pass.
DB thought that "oyster only" lines would be good, but I swear people with travel passes would just try and get through them going "oh where do I put my travel pass" and just block them up even worse.

People who have multiple oyster cards all with 10p on them trying to get on the bus also annoy me, they're swiping 20 cards trying to find the one with £1 on it. Or those who try and get on the bus in central london without a ticket, NO you can't buy one from the driver, there's signs everywhere, honest mistake and all,  but now GET OFF THE BUS and stop arguing, the bus driver does not care about you at all!

RAGE!!!
 


 

I once mentioned to DH that there is a thread on UKY called "How to Take The Bus" and he thought it was hilarious that Americans need lessons on how to take the bus.

He must never see this thread.

 

I once mentioned to DH that there is a thread on UKY called "How to Take The Bus" and he thought it was hilarious that Americans need lessons on how to take the bus.

He must never see this thread.

 

LOL...my hubby read it and laughed his bum off...

Escalator people are the worst! What did you expect at the top of the escalator?! It's normally floor, walls, some form of ceiling, get moving!!! Stop looking around with your mouth open and get out of my way.

Right?!

Your mention of the travel card issue reminded me of the rage I feel every time I fly, I want to lose it on the people in the security line that have no clue that they need to take off their coat, empty their pockets, remove their laptops, take off their shoes, have their liquids under 100 ml in a baggie, or not have bottles of water!! Then... they slowly put their belt back on, reload their carry on, put their shoes back on and attempt to find their boarding card, while holding up the entire line. 

Did I mention, I love this thread! 

Right?!

Your mention of the travel card issue reminded me of the rage I feel every time I fly, I want to lose it on the people in the security line that have no clue that they need to take off their coat, empty their pockets, remove their laptops, take off their shoes, have their liquids under 100 ml in a baggie, or not have bottles of water!! Then... they slowly put their belt back on, reload their carry on, put their shoes back on and attempt to find their boarding card, while holding up the entire line. 

Did I mention, I love this thread! 

OMG, that drives me insane.  Even worse are the ones who are in front of me that did not realize their 30-oz shampoo and conditioner bottles are not allowed through in their carry on.  Excuse me?  What planet do you live on?!  And then they make a fuss that they can't take it with them! 

Right?!

Your mention of the travel card issue reminded me of the rage I feel every time I fly, I want to lose it on the people in the security line that have no clue that they need to take off their coat, empty their pockets, remove their laptops, take off their shoes, have their liquids under 100 ml in a baggie, or not have bottles of water!! Then... they slowly put their belt back on, reload their carry on, put their shoes back on and attempt to find their boarding card, while holding up the entire line. 

Did I mention, I love this thread! 

RAGE!
I find there's always a husband and wife having the same argument in the check in line the wife is going "they're telling those people to take the shoes off, you should take your shoes off Ray" and the guy is going "okay,sure" and not doing anything so it goes on and on "RAY, RAY take your shoes off RAY"

Last time I was in NYC this woman had this whole giant make up bag (perfume, cleanser etc) and was going "do you know how much that stuff COOOOOOOOST?" to the Security guy. He gave her the best death stare ever!

But in conclusion, in London, keep moving! Never stop for any reason!

Mindy .. this is brilliant!

My favorite is the "oh so in love" couple who must hold hands in spite of the sidewalk being only wide enough for two.  I'm tempted to walk straight through their arms, breaking them apart like in the "Red Rover" game from my childhood.  But I don't.  I step into the street and walk around them instead.

A friend and me were in a similar situation, we were near carnaby street and an enthusiastic couple lifted their joined hands so I could walk under. 

I just figured out how to make it way easier...I look everyone in the eye and smile..this temporarily stuns them and I can usually get around them...if this doesn't work I just step off the pavement and walk in the road till I pass them...and yes I know that old people have the right of way for everything...

Use this method with caution...if I even so much as accidentally give someone eye contact, they seem to take that as a come-on and either try to follow and talk to me, or grab my arm to stop me...

RAGE!
I find there's always a husband and wife having the same argument in the check in line the wife is going "they're telling those people to take the shoes off, you should take your shoes off Ray" and the guy is going "okay,sure" and not doing anything so it goes on and on "RAY, RAY take your shoes off RAY"

Last time I was in NYC this woman had this whole giant make up bag (perfume, cleanser etc) and was going "do you know how much that stuff COOOOOOOOST?" to the Security guy. He gave her the best death stare ever!

But in conclusion, in London, keep moving! Never stop for any reason!

Reminds me, when a friend and me were on Portebello road, on a Saturday by the way, because of the crowds, there was some epic confusion while we were queuing for a crepe. We had just settled that we were in front of two girls, but then a mother and daughter just CUT in front of us I think they were tourists, but perhaps at Heathrow there should be a quick ten-minute instructional course on how to queue!! </rant>