How difficult adjustment from USA culture to UK& USA house to smaller UK house?

[Mrs Robinson]

I long for days hot enough to desire air conditioning! 

Our house is bigger than the apartment I rented in the US.  But that is all down to individual circumstances.  A small rental apartment was all I could afford in the US, on my own.  Thanks to DH, I finally own my own home, together with him, over here.  We have a living room, an eat-in kitchen of reasonable size, two bedrooms, one bathroom, a utility porch where the washing machine lives, a cellar, and a loft (attic).  It is plenty big enough for the two of us, and to be honest, I wouldn't want anything bigger because we are lazy & struggle to keep even this much clean & tidy.    We have very small garden spaces in the front and back - I think that's the only thing I wished we had more of.

At first I thought not having screens on the windows was kind of weird, but I'm used to it now & not terribly bothered.  I don't notice as many pesky pesties flying in here, as what I might have gotten in the US.  But you can install some kind of screens if you so choose - there are some options available here.

We don't have a tumble dryer - by choice.  At first, I thought that was weird too, but now I'm not much bothered on that either.  It saves energy & money not having one, plus we don't really have the space.  I love being able to hang my clothes out on the clotheline when the weather permits in the fresh air & sunshine, but putting them on airing rack is no bother.  But tumble dryers are available here if you so choose.

No dishwasher - I rarely ever rented a place with one in the US, so same-same to me.  But dishwashers are available here...

Like HME, we compost most of our kitchen waste, and recycle a lot.  We don't usually have much to put in the garbage bin.

Ours is a stone house so it can be a bit chilly but we don't scrimp on heat if we want it, although we have the age-old man/woman - I'm too hot vs I'm too cold thing going on.    The lovely thing about a stone house is on the odd day when it gets really warm, it's still lovely & cool inside our house.  Houses here do have heat available! 

Less storage space - well that just means less stuff, doesn't it?  We are both a bit packrat in tendencies so I need to work on this one.  But more stuff never made me as happy as living here with DH & striving for greater simplicity in life does, so the lack of storage space sometimes bothers me - but isn't the biggest deal really in the overall scheme of things.  I like that my lifestyle changed, moving over here. 

I guess we are both pretty laid back.  I think Missy said it best:  "It depends on how flexible you are as a person."  And meaning that in the friendliest way possible. 

[mirrajay]

It is my opinion (and only that) that those people who focus on the differences and are continually compare A to B are the ones who will have the hardest time dealing with the transition.  It is true, I have no closets and I used to have an enormous walk in closet - does this really affect me in any other way except a minor annoyance?  No.  I have no tumble dryer and I use clothes horses and hate them with a passion, but does this make me feel out of place and unadjusted? No.

My advice would be to prepare yourself for the difference (as you are doing), but realize that some things that people point out will NOT be what you experience.  For instance, one poster here said where she lives there is lots of litter and dog poo...  where I live, there is hardly a spot of litter and people religiously pick up dog poo.  I suggest once you are in the UK, just take things for what they are and stop comparing as soon as possible.  Stop converting pounds to dollars in your head and don't use negative language regarding the differences (I am still working on speaking positively to my clothes horse!)   Focus on why you moved to the UK in the first place - if you are moving to be with another person, remember that that person is more important than a closet, a window screen or a tumble dryer.

[Eastside2Westside]

I'm still trying to adjust to the smaller house here in the UK.  Our house here is about 1/4 the size of my house in the US and it cost more.  As others have said, it all depends on your individual circumstances in the US vs the UK.  I live in Northern England where the price of houses is supposed to be cheaper...but the houses here around at least three times the price of a similar house where I lived in VA (where houses were considered fairly cheap).  I do hate not having closets or an attic...but that also just depends on the house...those things are available in the UK but less common.

We actually live in a brand new house...so we have really good insulation and nice thick double-paned windows.  We have central heating (which as mentioned, means there is a radiator in every room, not a vent that blows hot air out of it) and keep our heat fairly high (22-23 C) and we've never had a problem with condensation or mold or humidity.  Yes, we make the sacrifice and pay ridiculous gas bills...but that's our choice.  I haven't actually lived here for a summer yet...but I was here for July last year and I never felt like we needed A/C.  I guess that also depends on where you will be moving too.  We visited Liverpool for a few days and I was absolutely freezing to death the entire time with a sweatshirt on (yes, in July!).  I'll be 7-9 months pregnant this summer...so it's quite possible i will be begging for A/C this year!

Having said all that, I wouldn't really say that the adjustment was difficult.  Because I'm pregnant and have pregnant hormones bouncing around...there are days that I just want to cry because our house here is so small and how in the world are we going to fit a new baby into a 2-bedroom house (although we are looking for a 3-bedroom)...but in the grand scheme of things does it really matter?  No...it's just one of those things that I've sacrificed and learned to live with. 

As a side note, I think a lot of people in America put a lot of weight on house...how big it is and how it's decorated and all that is a status symbol...keeping up with the Joneses and all that.  People in the UK (in general terms) seem to focus more on being practical (conserving space and energy) and just don't care as long as they have a roof.  I've learned to change my way of thinking to fit my environment.

[Jennie]

I think mirrajay has given some great advice.  Although I occasionally grumble at the length of time it takes my things to air-dry (compared to ten minutes in 100 degree weather in SoCal ), I really don't find too many things a "cultural" adjustment.  A few now-married and living with someone-adjustments, sure, but not necessarily a UK thing. And, after seeing our heating bills, I'm glad the flat is small!

[Mrs Robinson]

Whenever we manage to get a warm day in summer with a brisk wind, my clothes out on the clothesline get dry quickly then! 

[June Cleaver]

Attitude makes a huge difference, that's true. 
There are days when I wish I had a tumble dryer.  Like today when I have sheets to dry.  But I used my clothesline and drying rack a lot in the US so I don't really mind using the same here in the UK.
We're fortunate enough to have two large closets/cupboards, so large in fact that if they were put together we could maybe have another bedroom.  But we do appreciate the storage.
I'm very happy to NOT need air conditioning.  I do NOT miss summer days of 105*.  Pleasant highs of 80* are perfect for me.   
Location is also a big factor.
We live in a tiny village that has no shop, no post office, no corner market.  That's a situation I'll never really like.  The isolation can be a problem. 
We live in a flat above the village hall and our radiators are on ONLY when the village hall's are on.  Not good!  We've had some FREEZING Sundays when we could see our breath.  But two portable Dimplex heaters now save us from frostbite.
And the villagers are welcoming.  My UK hubby was recruited for the local snooker team right away and I've recently been hired to help out in the local preschool. 
Pros & cons...  life is full of them.   

[JennBean]

I think comparing is reasonable so you know what you are going into with both eyes open...
I knew moving here meant losing all my furniture but I thank my lucky stars my DH is handy!

We have ordered another small dresser and under the bed storage and he has built things into the loft.  The living room now hold a computer area he built as well as built in shelves.

I do miss a larger fridge and freezer and a bathroom attached to the master!

Everything else I have learned to fit in and make do with.  As for not converting USD to pounds I still do it and have to since my income is still stateside and in USD so for budgeting purposes I have to watch what I spend US wise.

I just say get over here - visit - check out houses and realize it will all work if ya want it too.

Ohh and I miss open floor plan living - everything has a door here and sometimes I feel trapped in the kitchen with both doors locking me in haha ;-)

[bookgrl]

Everything in my area is open plan and I hate it.   

For me a bigger house isn't about a staus symbol or keeping more things, it is about having the room to do quilting.  I am using the quick turn method because I don't think I could realistically bind a quilt here in the space that have and even quick turn is practically impossible because the spare bedroom is smaller than the queen size quilt I just made. 

The backing has come out a little wonky, but it is ok. 

I am sure my husband would like me to have a room to quilt in because he doesn't like being attacked by the occassional misplaced pin.

Of course, if you own your own house you can do a lot more things to make the small space work for you. 

If you rent then all you can do is put up wth what is there.   

[onetiger]

After having been here for 5-1/2 years, I appreciate the differences more and more.  Less storage means less things - I like that I don't have clothing that I rarely wear...and besides, I can wear much of my clothing all year round at this point.  We put in wardrobes instead of closets and it's fine.  No dryer - we save money and energy and I like that nothing shrinks while drying on the clothing rack (plus our washing machine super fast spin means that our clothing is much dryer coming out than a US washing machine...which tended to be dripping).  I don't mind smaller rooms - less to heat, less to clean.  In some ways it's all about how you think about it...positive or negative spin! (having worked in advertising and now a therapist, it makes a lot of sense to do the positive spin thing)

[Mrs Robinson]

After having been here for 5-1/2 years...

For some reason I thought you had been here longer than that!  But we're on about the same time line.  My 6 year anniversary of moving over is coming up the end of this month.    (going to check my old passport for the exact date!)

Heck, I can't find the old one right now - think it was the morning of March 28th when our flight landed in the UK, that's when my 6 years will be.

[mapleleafgirl72]

Heck, I can't find the old one right now - think it was the morning of March 28th when our flight landed in the UK, that's when my 6 years will be.

That's Mr MLG and my 'meeting' anniversary! 

I think the key is perspective, as most have said!  I am not a packrat, so having less space is OK and I hate cleaning, so all is good there, as well. I'm not bothered about no dryer, except maybe I am not a fan of ironing, but you know, it's not the end of the world! I find it easier to see the good in the differences.

Maybe there's something to learn about yourself in the differences: how you adapt, what' stresses you, how you best deal with change etc. 

[June Cleaver]

Ohh and I miss open floor plan living - everything has a door here and sometimes I feel trapped in the kitchen with both doors locking me in haha ;-)

LOL  Me too!!  I'm forever opening doors and leaving them open so I can chat with DH while I'm cooking or listen to the tv while I'm on the computer or hear the oven timer while I'm in the living room ironing.  He's forever closing them just out of habit. 

[mapleleafgirl72]

He's forever closing them just out of habit. 

The good thing is that is an energy saving measure! 

[rutabega]

We just bought seven, SEVEN, door stop devices to keep the doors open between rooms here. At least with a child on the way, I imagine wanting to close some of the doors so they can't wander too far.

The size of the place is not too much of a shock. I probably brought too many of my precious books over... but, I'll donate them to the local library and be able to visit them, if needed.

We're in a newbuild... from 2000... and it does have closets. Not necesarily where we'd want them, nor with interiors that take advantage of organizing space, but I'm going to find a carpenter who can replace the bar at a better height and make something of it...

overall, I'm happy with the living situation, now that we moved out of the rental and into the place we purchased.

Being that we're both yanks, DH and I also went into the home purchase recognizing that we weren't necessarily buying something that appeals to most Brits. We don't have a garden... we can see other people's gardens. And, maybe in several years I'll be confident enough to want a garden and go get a patch elsewhere. But, we have a lot to tackle here still...

My point is that you don't HAVE to fit in perfectly. One can be themself and find what makes them happy without changing entirely.

[0phinky]

We just bought seven, SEVEN, door stop devices to keep the doors open between rooms here.

The day we moved in, I ran out and bought door stoppers.  We're renting, so more permanent measures are out for now.  But all of our doors are propped open.  

I definitely think it's okay to have a wish list.  I had one back in the US, too -- it would get shaken up and re-prioritized each time I'd move.    Some of the things on my list are highly incompatible, which is what makes it a wish list.  Others are just things that I'd do/get in a place I own rather than rent -- in either the US or UK.