Hi everyone . . . Long first post!

Hi everyone---I'm going to introduce myself after a few weeks off bouncing around the site during my down-time at work (who am I kidding--when no one was looking is more like it!).  Thank you so much for your valuable and (so often!) thought-provoking posts.  I'm living/working in the states right now.  I'm American, and my UK boyfriend of 4+ years and I have decided to get married this year.  We met in 1999, fell in love, and lived together for a couple of years while he was in the states on a work visa.  We talked about getting married then but I thought I wasn't ready (I was 24 but I'm kind of a free spirit! Now at 27 I wouldn't say I'm any less so, but at least now I know  that I've already had what I want in a partner--).  After 9/11happened--the company he worked for stopped issuing work visas altogether (tourism-related company--huge drop in tourism, etc) and he had to move back to England right after that in 2001.  It was all rather devastating at the time but has gotten a bit easier--I moved back to the midwest where i'm from and we've seen each other at least 3 times a year since then (not much, I know, it's awful).  As much as I always look forward to seeing him, I dread saying goodbye again.  All in all, however, it has probably strengthened our relationship and made us realize how much we really want to be together.   Our last goodbye at Gatwick was just too painful and I think we hit that point where it was too hard to go on like this but impossible to give up.  (Hey, it sounds romantic in my head if not in type )!  So . . . we decided to get married.  He lives in Dorset and we will be applying for the fiancee visa at the Chicago consulate in May.  I plan to move to england.  We had originally planned on March (he will be visiting me here in a few days) but decided to put it off a couple of more months for the following reasons:
1.  He just moved to the south after having lived in the west-midlands for one year.  He is looking to buy a flat in the area and we thought this might increase our chances of getting the visa if he did so, as currently (and for the past 3 months) he is staying with friends with no real lease.
2.  He also he just took a new job he started January 1, so taking a bit of time before approaching his boss for a proof of employment-type letter seemed like a good idea.
3.  I can't quite make out if we need to get married in the west-mids or in dorset--as he's always lived in the west-mids until this year (and the time he was in the US).  Does he need to have been in dorset (with proof) for some time, or can we get married at either district's registry?  (We're not having a religious service).  
4.  Above all, I'm worried about getting turned down in Chicago and plan to be over-prepared.  I have had some nightmares about it.  J will be with me, but with the way things are going in Iraq and the particular strain on US-UK relations right now . . . I'm scared.  Did we pick the worst time in recent history to finally do this?   My family is pretty supportive, albeit a bit apprehensive.  I feel I'm living in a constant state of not really knowing anything . . . about anything!  I can't make plans, I can't tell people at work (or some friends) and most of all . . . I can't wait!  Nervous excitement, maybe that's what you call it.  Anyway, thanks for listening.  I just wanted to say hi--and thanks.  

Hi Justine.

 I do not know about anyone else here...but it sure as all heck sounded very romantic to me...  of course I am awaiting to get married still as my fiance and I have been engaged for almost 2 years this may...  so anyone that struggles to be with the person they love sounds romantic to me...  ya know, deafeating all odds...  a true romance novel in thought.  but then again, I am a hopeless romantic.

One question for you?...if you are not planning to have the religous ceremony...is there any reason why you do not just get married when he comes to visit and then apply for a marriage visa when things are right?  I live in Maryland...and there is no residence requirement to get married here...  just a 2 day waiting period for license.  LOL, In fact, I found out the other day that in Maryland...  you do not even have to have a licensed officiate to perform the ceremony...  as long as you have a marriage licence and the bride and groom agree, any adult can marry you...  I found that odd, yet an interesting tidbit I never knew of my own home state.

Anyway, welcome to UKY, good luck and do not worry about the fiance visa...there are many here that will tell you it was not as bad as it seems...  although there is a lot of paperwork needed.

Shel

Hello!  Welcome here, hooray for finally joining!

It seems like you and your guy are going through just about the same thing I did with my David . . . it is a confusing and stressful mess sometimes, isn't it?  Getting all the stuff sorted is both scary and tedious.  

I went to the Chicago consulate, too . . . very imposing place!  I went with my brother and cousin because David didn't have any more holiday to come over to the States (he'd used it all on me earlier in the year ), so I'm glad he didn't HAVE to be there.  

I'm not an expert on this . . . but I don't think you will be turned down.  If you have all the documents you need (and I get the impression you've gotten to grips with that), I really really think they will accept you.  They run a system and as long as they don't suspect you as being a terrorist (and I doubt you'll give that impression!) they should have no reason to turn you down.  The British at the consulate office have a job to do . . . to give valid people their visa's, and unless they've had a mandate from the UK or US government, they can't decide that just because of some stress in the relationship they can be more suspicious of applicants or not have a really solid reason to say no to you.  

It is really good that he's staying in his new job for awhile before he asks for proof that he's working . . . and since you are worried about applying, could I suggest that just maybe you might want to ask his previous employer as well to provide a statement that he used to work there?  I know it isn't something the consulate ask for, but if they suspect he isn't a hard-working young lad that can hold down a job, I think it could at least make you feel better if you can back up that that isn't true.  

I'm sorry to push the issue, but I know how stressful and nerve-jangling it is to be worried about being turned down.  So here are three more things that might help put you some more at ease!  1.  I applied for my fiancee's visa in the aftermath of 9/11, that wasn't a problem.  2.  I didn't have my guy with me.  How good does that look??!!  3.  There is a 36-year age difference between me and David (  yes, yes, I was waiting for the look of shock . . .).  I'm 18 and he's 55.  Is there ANYTHING more suspicious??!!  They didn't say a word about it.  As a matter of fact, they didn't say a darn word to me at all . . .

Does that help?

Jewel

Thank you for your advice!  Actually, the main reason we've decided to go the fiance visa route is that all the sites/posts/literature that i'ver read says it the easiest.  If anyone disagrees, please let me know!  I'd happily get married first--if i was sure a spousal visa would follow!  We thought we'd come back and have some sort of reception in Minnesota anyway, but would wait until i have the spousal visa and the smoke had cleared, so to speak (although i must say, a reception in minnesota in the dead of winter is NOT my ideal!)  Another key issue is my job; i don't even want to let on to my co-workers that I may be getting married until I have the visa.  As far as work goes, I don't want to be engaged indefinitely (or without a plan); I'm afraid my position would be jeapordized.  As it stands, our plan is to GET   the finace visa in May, get married in england in july, and live happily ever after .  I have yet to recently see or hear from someone with a situation like ours who has been denied-- your right, Jewel, it seems most people with reasonable reason to be approved are approved (I'd be curious to hear the story of your relationship tho, 36 years difference, wow!  Good for you for following your heart).  I just don't want to chance things.  It's not far from here to chicago, but it's another trip back to the states for J after just having been here (only 5 days til he visits, yea!).  I'm not complaining about seeing him more, but if we could go to chicago next week without worrying about him having a lease, I'd go in heartbeat!  As it is, I want to be sure all my t's are crossed, etc.  Thanks again for you advice, it's invaluable.  --Justine

Hi Justine - this is David and I'm Jewel's (lots older) husband.

You can get married in Dorset - there is no residency time requirement.  And yes, yuo are absolutely right in thinking that the fianceé visa route is the easiest.

Hi Justine - this is David and I'm Jewel's (lots older) husband.

You can get married in Dorset - there is no residency time requirement.  And yes, yuo are absolutely right in thinking that the fianceé visa route is the easiest.

I do believe it is a personal choice on what is most important...  getting married in England or getting married in the states

So in my opinion Guru, I must beg to differ that it is absolutely easier to marry in England.  A fiance visa is not needed to marry here if you plan to live in England...  which is half the time of paperwork...  plus, once you are married your marriage certificate is a good standing to get your marriage visa...  not to mention that you can begin to look for work immediately once in england.  on a fiance visa, you can not get a job until married and marriage visa is in place...  which, unless you are going to go to Croydon? in person, a marriage visa could take a while to get back if applied for in England.  All of my research shows a marriage visa is much easier to obtain in the states, with the exception of croyden (think that is name of place there)

If you wish to get married in England...yes, It would be the easier route as far as your entry into England to begin with for any lengthly stay...  most places in england require a residency time before you can marry...make sure you check with the local authority in location you two desire to marry.

The most important thing here Justine is that you and your honey are happy and make the decision based on what is best for you.  

So good luck which ever you decide

shel

I believe the ealiest you can marry would be 21 days after arriving in the UK (7 days residency requirement plus 2 weeks notice to Registry Office). You can marry at any Registry Office in England, or any licensed venue.
If you wish to marry in the US, there is no reason why you should not, that is your choice. You then skip the fiancee visa & go straight for the spousal visa. If they ask any questions (they shouldn't) just say you wanted to get married in the US so your family could attend. After all, convention dictates that the wedding takes place in the bride's locality. (Thus my US hubby got a fiance visa and we married in the UK).
If you get the spousal visa, your only other dealings with IND EVER (unless you go for citizenship after 3 years) would be to get your ILR (Indefinite Leave to Remain) after 1 year on the initial spouse visa.

Hello Justine, and welcome.

I agree with most of what's been said already here, I just wanted to interject that you shouldn't worry needlessly. I do not know of anyone yet who's been turned down for a visa given they've followed the procedures. The difficulties usually arise when coming on a visitors visa for an extended period. I think you're a shoe in, and it will be pretty cut and dried, given the length of time that you've been together already. As for where you get married, absolutely up to you, but it does seem easier to get married there and apply for the spouse visa as far as paperwork and hassle are concerned.

Please keep us posted, and best of luck to you.