Inconvenient Annoyances

My mom went on an insane health kick when I got married because 'the next big change will be grandchildren' but at least I WANT kids and she doesn't ask when.

You didn't get any drugs KF?  I've informed my husband that I want ALL the drugs and that he WILL get them for me no matter how hard he has to push.  It's the price of me giving birth to his (presumably) big headed babies.

It's not that I don't want kids, it's juts that my SIL will start with something like "ohhhh wait until you have a kid" (talking to me/my other SIL) You'll have to deal with *xyz gross disgusting sh*t that you'll never have thought about in a million years without guidance* and I'm like oh...okay...cool....... and then she'll be like BUT YOU'LL BE FINE! IT'S ALL FINE! YOU WON'T EVEN REMEMBER IT ALL! LOOK AT ME, I HAD TWO! IT'S BASICALLY NOTHING WHEN ARE YOU GOING TO HAVE CHILDREN!? and I just think "I don't even know if I do anymore...." Although I do keep telling Rik that I want to adopt an adorable japanese baby when we go to Japan.

I want to adopt an adorable japanese baby when we go to Japan.

I want a Chinese girl like you wouldn't believe!!!!!  I'm always surprised that I had kids versus adopting. 

I'm not surprised that people don't get as many drugs as they want because the NHS is expert at shaming people into going natural.  And shaming people into breastfeeding. 

They run a sophisticated indoctrination program that turns every mother into a militant hippie against medicalization. 

People of Japan, hide your children!

People of Japan, hide your children!

I'm not above snatching up an adorable Japanese baby. I'm just sayin'...

(that was totally a joke, please don't report me)

Oh yeah, for sure! and I actually appreciate the honesty! I HATE when people sugar coat it! I don't think it's setting a fair expectation so appreciate you saying. I was just kidding

Yes, the truth must be shared!

My oldest kid is 26. I remember every last excruciating detail of the 25 hours of labor with him. I didn't get drugs until hour 17. I had a third-degree perineal tear (google it!) and was informed, "next time, you MUST have a c-section".

I was so freaked out when I became pregnant with my second kid that I suffered "pre-natal depression" and it took five months of persistent arguments with my UK doctor to finally get a consultant to review my medical files and determine that I should have a c-section.

I did get a c-section for the second and third kid. If anyone tells you that it's an easy way out, punch out their f***ing lights! I was in more pain (especially since the English doctors didn't give me painkillers) after these deliveries than a natural one with the third-degree tear. Plus, my youngest is 17 and I STILL don't have any feeling an inch above and below the c-section scars. Plus, no amount of exercise work on those muscles will ever diminish that ridiculous pouch.

You can absolutely bet that I tell all three of my kids these birth stories on their birthdays and on Mother's Day, UK & US and I'll throw in Mexican Mother's Day too, for good measure.

My oldest son became a father at 20 and I became a grandmother at 41. I am glad that my younger two children have had the benefit of seeing their brother struggle with three kids under six yesterday because they both agreed that it was better learning than any sex-ed classes they could have ever had at school. I won't be giving my younger two any pressure about grandkids, that's for sure.

So, x0Kiss0fDeath, enjoy your Japanese kids! lol

There is a LOT people don't tell you about the changes to your body during and after pregnancy.  A LOT!

That is the understatement of all time. 

the NHS is expert at shaming people into going natural. 

"Oh, I see you are in active labor dear.  If you genuinely believe you MUST have something, take a paracetamol and have a warm bath."

Yes, the truth must be shared!

My oldest kid is 26. I remember every last excruciating detail of the 25 hours of labor with him. I didn't get drugs until hour 17. I had a third-degree perineal tear (google it!) and was informed, "next time, you MUST have a c-section".

I was so freaked out when I became pregnant with my second kid that I suffered "pre-natal depression" and it took five months of persistent arguments with my UK doctor to finally get a consultant to review my medical files and determine that I should have a c-section.

I did get a c-section for the second and third kid. If anyone tells you that it's an easy way out, punch out their f***ing lights! I was in more pain (especially since the English doctors didn't give me painkillers) after these deliveries than a natural one with the third-degree tear. Plus, my youngest is 17 and I STILL don't have any feeling an inch above and below the c-section scars. Plus, no amount of exercise work on those muscles will ever diminish that ridiculous pouch.

You can absolutely bet that I tell all three of my kids these birth stories on their birthdays and on Mother's Day, UK & US and I'll throw in Mexican Mother's Day too, for good measure.

My oldest son became a father at 20 and I became a grandmother at 41. I am glad that my younger two children have had the benefit of seeing their brother struggle with three kids under six yesterday because they both agreed that it was better learning than any sex-ed classes they could have ever had at school. I won't be giving my younger two any pressure about grandkids, that's for sure.

So, x0Kiss0fDeath, enjoy your Japanese kids! lol

F***ing hell...do people actually tell you that you took the EASY way out with a c-section!? Neither seems like a comfortable process to me!

F***ing hell...do people actually tell you that you took the EASY way out with a c-section!? Neither seems like a comfortable process to me!

I would hope not.  That was my biggest labor fear - that I would need a c-section.  The thought was terrifying to me!

I would hope not.  That was my biggest labor fear - that I would need a c-section.  The thought was terrifying to me!

Yeah I just think neither sounds like a situation I want to necessarily experience by choice, but obviously one might be a better option given certain circumstances. That doesn't mean it's an easy way out!!

I absolutely adore my animals but when it comes to human babies, I don't have a maternal bone in my body. For that I am grateful! 

I never wanted to make a baby, or even have a baby.  But I do like playing the role of auntie to the kids in my life.  Once they hit about 18 months, and they're walking around like little people, figuring things out, trying to communicate, they become entertaining.  They remain entertaining until that sense of wonder about the world fades because they've figured most of it out.  About the age that the plausibility of Santa Claus and the Tooth Fairy diminishes.  Y'know?

I had my cousin's kids convinced that my car was alive and talked to us.  When I'd visit, they loved to run out and greet her.  Sometimes I'd forget, and the older kids would come in looking so sad and say, "Minizoom isn't talking to us...".  I'd quickly explain that we'd had a long day before we got there and she was tired and probably napping, so they should talk a little louder to try to wake her up.  Then I'd pay attention and after the kids spoke to her, I'd use the remote to make her honk and flash her lights at them.  It was awesome, too, because my car turned out to be allergic to a lot of things, so the kids couldn't have those things while riding in Minizoom.  And since those kids loved Minizoom and didn't want to make her sick, they didn't bring chocolate, or other messy things in her.  And they'd ask me if Minizoom was allergic before they bought anything into her.   Best trick ever! 

Edited to add:  But, yeah... no childbirth for me.  *shudder*  There's no way to make that happen that isn't going to hurt and be a bit messy.  And the reward for it is nappies and spitting up and sleepless nights for at least a year.  No, thank you!

If you do steal a Japanese baby, make sure it's at least 10 months old.  At least!

If you do steal a Japanese baby, make sure it's at least 10 months old.  At least!

Or five years old.  Just sayin.   

Or five years old.  Just sayin.   

Didn't your daughter just turn four?  *giggle*

When I was 2 years and 11 months old, my sister started kindergarten.  The second day of school, my mother stopped what she was doing, looked at me, and said, "How would you like to go to school?"  It hurt, man.  It hurt.