I'm not married but we are long distance friends.
I wasn't sure where to post this!
I always thought he was a very nice and kind man never really got some things he did until I was watching a British movie. The main character was making jokes even during a conversation about something serious and all of a sudden it clicked in my brain. Well 1) I started to like him more <3 and 2) I then thought maybe it was culture so I searched google. I then read about irony and then made some of the other things he has said made sense too. I just didn't know he was joking at the time.
I read Watching The English and that was helpful especially about the understatements and how they try not to appear too earnest.
The other thing I find myself reacting too is sometimes he sounds so formal, it seems insincere. Does that make sense? Just to make it clear he is not insincere, but my first initial reaction I feel like it is. It's from the phrases he uses.
The understatements like it's phrased in that book are another thing. Once in a response to an email I sent about things between us, he used a phrase he was "more than happy" in reference to keeping things going. Do I cry in disappointment or am I reassured from that? lol
I'm started to recognize irony, but it takes me a while to process it. Before I would just get somewhat defensive and try to explain.
I still start to now but I catch myself and try to see this is his style.
Do you get used to to it? I'm guessing IRL it will be less of a problem because it's not just written communication. It's just hard I end up feeling sad after we communicate sometimes.