I've been scouring the Internet and reading hundreds of horror stories from people who applied via the consulate in NYC and went months without hearing anything, or had their passport go missing, etc.
Where are you reading these stories? I've been here on UK-Y for a number of years, and have seen people applying for their Tier 4/student visas each summer and I've never heard of passports going missing or not hearing anything for months.
This is currently the busiest time of the year at the NYC consulate, because of all the Tier 4 visa applications being made at the same time - they process something like 18,000 visas in NYC between July and September, compared with 6,000 visas in each of the other quarters of the year. So it can take a few extra weeks to get the visa at this time of year, compared to if you applied between September and June.
Should I be worried or am I just freaking out over nothing? Will the UK deny my Tier 4 visa because I'm married to my wife and they think I'm trying to sneak in or something?
Worried about what? If you meet the visa requirements and you have a valid Certificate of Sponsorship, you will get the visa. Approximately 95-98% of visa applications made in NYC are approved, so there's really nothing to be worried about.
Your wife has nothing to do with it. You will be legally living in the UK on a student visa, so she has no relevance to the application.
Plus, if you want to (and you meet the requirements), once you are in the UK, you can always switch to a Civil Partnership visa based on your marriage to your wife, which will allow you to study if you wish, or work full-time (which a student visa does not allow). Also, time spent in the UK on a Tier 4 student visa doesn't count towards permanent residence or UK citizenship, but time on a Civil Partnership visa will, so if your goal is to live in the UK on a more long-term, permanent basis, a Civil Partnership visa might be a good option in the future.
Alternatively, you could have even applied for a Civil Partnership visa instead of a Tier 4 visa to move to the UK to study. However, a Civil Partnership visa is much more expensive ($1,500) and is more difficult to qualify for than a Tier 4 visa (financial requirements, relationship requirements, accommodation requirements).
My timeline:
July 26: Finally get my loan letter from the school, apply for the visa and pay
July 29: Biometrics appointment, send everything via USPS overnight to NYC
July 30: Per USPS tracking, my package is signed for
August 1: Email stating my package was opened and should be reviewed in 10 working days
Fair enough. You're only on working day 7 today (not counting the 1st), so you still have a bit of time to wait.
If you didn't pay for the priority processing service it may take a little longer to process, and if they get really busy it may take even longer - maybe a month or so, but hopefully you won't have to wait that long. Generally, Tier 4 visas are processed within 3 weeks, but it can increase to 1-2 months if they get really busy in Aug/Sept.
I sent all my financials, my loan letter, passport, application, 2 UK-sized photos, and letter of accommodation from the family I'll be staying with. Tomorrow is the 8th working day of the promised 10 but knowing that I can't contact anyone there in the event things go wrong is really wearing on me...I kinda haven't been able to sleep.
What do you want to contact them about? There's no reason at all for you to be worried - in fact, you've actually sent them more evidence than you needed to.
If you are from the US, you are considered 'low risk' and are not required to send any financial documents (although you need to have them available if ask to see them). I don't think you needed to include accommodation documents either.
Generally, you just need to send:
- application form
- biometrics receipt
- passport
- passport photos
- CAS number
- marriage certificate if you are married
Am I freaking out over nothing?
I think you might be - I'm not even sure what exactly you are worried about.
You sent the required documents, your visa application is being processed and you've only been waiting just over a week, which is nothing in visa processing times, especially at this time of year.
If it gets to the end of September and the course has started and you still haven't received your visa, then you can start worrying about how long it's taking. However, student visas are given priority at this time of year, and they make an effort to get them all issued in time for the courses starting.