1) After a year, someone has finally invited me out. I had heard how cold the British were and didn't believe it. i was wrong. I cant see how anyone has friends here as people just don't seem interested in hanging out or forming close friendships. I know American friendships are more "superficial" but now I'd take that over this any day. That's better than people treating you as if you don't exist at all.
Interestingly, when I lived in the US as a student (I'm British), I found it much harder to make friends with Americans than with other international students. Other than an initial friendly conversation, no one seemed interested in talking to me again - I would try to make friends and no one really seemed bothered to talk to me.
It could be a London thing for you though - generally speaking, Londoners seem to be a bit more closed off than people from other parts of the country. People do like their own space in the UK though - if you start saying hi to random people in the street, they're going to think you're weird (especially in London)
, so it might be a case of picking your moments.
I would recommend reading the book 'Watching The English' by Kate Fox - it's pretty good and explains a lot about why the English are the way they are
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2) I feel like I can't talk to people here. A lot of people don't get personal and don't joke around. I remember laughing at work a lot in the states and when I try to joke, it falls flat or people don't get it (i have a dark sense of humour though.) But in general, I find the conversation here to be pretty dull, which then in turn makes me dull.
Guess it depends on the people in the office, maybe and possibly also the type of work? I work on an RAF base and we have a mix of people in our office - only 2 or 3 people on shift at the same time, but some shifts are pretty quiet where none of us really talk much and others are full of chatter and laughing.
A couple of years ago, I spent a summer working in science research down at our company HQ, on a massive floorplate with a couple of hundred people and the whole place was practically silent all day - because everyone in there was a hard-working research scientist, completely focused on their own work. I found it so tedious that I couldn't wait to get back to the base.
3) All the commuting and the fast pace is exhausting. Do you really need to run to the train? You can't wait for the next one in 1 minute???
That's London for you, I guess. I can only survive about one day there before I get frustrated with the crowds and the rushing. I like cities, but the pace of London can be exhausting. Having said that, right now I'm living 8,000 miles from the UK, on a collection of islands the size of Connecticut, but with a population of just 3,000 people. I have to drive 40 miles to the only town, just to go to a supermarket (of which there are only two).
5) speaking of which, i've noticed a more sexist vibe here which infuriates me. one job i had, the women weren't invited to meetings. what's worse, a lot of women let this happen and encourage it by catering to this. i'on one end, ve seen girls here become strippers and nude models just to fit into the british notion of sexy and at the other end, is the woman who has an identity which is tied to her husband. another american (male) is bothered by this too and thinks it's because mothers often treat their sons like kings. (again, not true of everyone but a lot more than i experienced in the US)
Can't really compare it with the US, but I have to agree with this right now. I'm living in an Officer's Mess on an overseas air force base right now, and it seems that as one of the few females on base (in a mainly young, female-based office), I can get away with a hell of a lot when it comes to people doing things for me. Officers open up bars just because we're there and we have automatic invites to the more exclusive bars. If I want to get on a flight, or ask a favour, or get free drinks, pretty much all I have to do is smile at them and the pilots are falling over themselves to help me.
It can be quite handy in some respects, but it kind of sucks on the equal opportunities front. I'm not a girly-girl and I would prefer to just be treated like one of the guys.
6) Food. Ok it's better than I thought to be fair but it is bland. even salt and pepper are not even used. as for it supposedly being healthier, i've put on 12 pounds here and heavier here than i EVER was in the US. this is even when I lived in the south. ive had to go on an extreme diet to try and lose weight and I'm not the type to eat junk and eat healthy. also, every day i seem to have a stomach ache.
I've found I'm getting stomach aches a lot where I'm living now - I don't really get a choice in what I eat, and there's a lot of stodgy, heavy food here, which I don't eat back in the UK. However, when I'm in the UK and have a choice in my food, I can usually keep the weight off (as long as I don't binge on sweets and chocolate). Also, I don't get much chance to exercise here (partly due to working 70-hour weeks and being exhausted), so I can feel myself putting on weight every day here.
Salt and pepper are definitely used in the UK though, perhaps not in the cooking itself, but it's always on the table if you want to add your own. I lived in New Mexico when I was in the US, so I hate bland food - I need spice! So, I just add chilli or pepper to most of my food. If you're cooking for yourself, you can easily flavour the food to your own taste.
The stiff upper lip. it's a lot of conservative than i thought it would be. especially my DH's family, which totally surprised me as i thought my own family was very conservative. but they resent he moved to the big city London (mind you, they are only an hour away.) And just dont understand me at all because I am a modern woman with a career and was very independent (something that's alien to them apparently) I listen to rock music and a bit creative but that's somehow very different for people, which is strange.
Some families are just like that, I guess - I wouldn't say it's a UK-wide thing, more a personal thing. My parents are pretty laidback and mum even encouraged me to move to London when I was younger because she said everyone should experience living in London at least once (though I ended up not doing so) and now all 3 of her kids live in different countries.
Then again, as a computer programmer, my mum is the most 'normal' of all of us - my dad is a drummer, I'm a meteorologist, my youngest brother is an outdoor adventurer and my other brother is a stuntman
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9) which leads to my next point, i thought there would be a great music scene here since a lot of my favorite music is from britain. but all you hear here is pop music and barely anyone i have met is rock at all. but now i see why rock music is so good...the bands had so much stiffness to rebel against!
The music in the UK has turned pretty crap in the last few years. Rock was big 30-40 years ago, but these days, it's not really around so much. I grew up in the 90s and I was a fan of Brit pop and 'real' bands, but these days it's all about manufactured pop and American imports.
nothing open most of the time you are free, a focus on work and not life....but it would be a long list.
Interesting, because a focus on work and not life was a big reason why I left the US to return to the UK. I've found that the US is generally much more focused on 'living to work' than the UK. My aunt has lived in the US for 37 years - she still only gets 10 days paid vacation per year and has only managed to visit the UK 5 times in the last 25 years because she couldn't take any time off. On the other hand, in the last 3 years, I have taken almost 6 months of vacation time from my UK job and I'm encouraged to take it all. Again, it could be a London thing, with people more serious about work and earning money than other parts of the UK.
After spending 10 of the last 20 months living on remote islands in the middle of the Atlantic Ocean, I can't wait to get back to the UK where shops are actually open more than a few hours a week (everything seems to be closed on Sundays and Mondays here), where I can actually get to a supermarket whenever I want to, where the food in the supermarkets is actually still in date, where I can buy fresh milk (after 10 months, UHT milk is the bane of my existence), where the internet is faster than dial-up and doesn't cost a bomb, where there isn't a toilet roll shortage because it didn't arrive on the boat this month, where I can actually buy green vegetables and fresh fruit, and where it doesn't take 2 weeks to receive mail from the UK!
