English meal time annoyance

Okay maybe this is just me.  Does anyone else notice this?

Every meal time, especially breakfast and lunch, with my English in-laws always follows an annoying pattern.  Essentially every conceivable consumable in the house is loaded onto the table.  The refrigerator is mostly emptied of every perishable item, so it can warm up and go bad even if no one is interested in eating any of it.

And then of course every possible piece of silverware and plate is thrown on the table, essentially double what is required.  So at the end of the meal you can't work out what's been used and what's clean, and you end up having to hand wash an entire kitchen's worth full of cutlery/plates.  And that person is always me!

I'm I just a neat-nick?  What's wrong with taking out only what people want from the frig in order to make sure everything doesn't spoil by the following day.  And do people in the UK have nothing better to do than washing up dishes their entire lives?

Is this just a family tradition in my case?  Or is this a UK problem??

Paul

I think it's an individual thing and not a UK thing.

I'm British and it's not something we've ever really done in our household - we either each make what we want and then sit down to eat.

When I'm at my parents house, for breakfast they just put 3-5 bowls and spoons out on the table (depending on number of people in the house) and then we each have a bowl of cereal and clear everything away 5 min later.

For lunch, everyone generally just makes what they want, puts the rest back in the fridge and then sits down to eat.

PS. My parents also have a dishwasher so they spend very little time washing dishes


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I was brought up in the UK and we never did this! We usually have what I would call proper meals at the table, which is set for the number of people eating. If we have a "scratch" supper each person is responsible for their own food and cutlery. But I'm not big on waste, or washing up, so perhaps I'm the odd one?

Sounds like this is just a quirk of your in-laws.
I've never heard of anyone doing this before.

My English meal time annoyance...

During Christmas and Thanksgiving, back in the states we always had a buffet. Put what you want on your plate and leave out what you don't want. This is usually just for special occasions and holidays.

When I hosted Christmas dinner at my house last year, everyone was puzzled they had to get their own food. There was A LOT of food so I wasn't going to take everyone's order, and I didn't think I was being rude asking everyone to sort their own plate out buffet style.

My future Mother in Law said it was strange I had done that, but she would try it at Boxing Day. She came back to me ans said it "didnt work". I dont know how buffet style doesnt work when you have a large meal? To each their own!

"didnt work"

Says nothing, says everything.

My English meal time annoyance...

During Christmas and Thanksgiving, back in the states we always had a buffet. Put what you want on your plate and leave out what you don't want. This is usually just for special occasions and holidays.

When I hosted Christmas dinner at my house last year, everyone was puzzled they had to get their own food. There was A LOT of food so I wasn't going to take everyone's order, and I didn't think I was being rude asking everyone to sort their own plate out buffet style.

My future Mother in Law said it was strange I had done that, but she would try it at Boxing Day. She came back to me ans said it "didnt work". I dont know how buffet style doesnt work when you have a large meal? To each their own!

Sounds like my mother in law's obsession with propriety. She was aghast that I suggested everyone use the same mug for tea all day instead of getting a new one for their bi-hourly cups of tea. They were literally running just the top rack of the dishwasher at least 3 times a day just on tea mugs. It's beyond me why she would want to run her dishwasher that many times but whatever. There are lots of small things like this where I get the side eye for not doing something "properly" that really get under my skin after a few days. I can't decide if we are genuinely more relaxed about things in the US or if it's just because things over here are still a little unfamiliar. I'm suspecting it's the former the more time I spend with the in-laws.

They doing Christmas dinner family style at the table, each dishing their own, but for almost all other meals they have been dished up for me. We always "went to the pots" as my family would say for nearly every meal at home. And probably fetched our own silverware out of the drawer too. I dread to think what my mother in law would think of that. Ha!


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Well serving yourself seems to me to allow for quiet opt-outs. Isn't there always some funky casserole you'd rather avoid?

Well serving yourself seems to me to allow for quiet opt-outs. Isn't there always some funky casserole you'd rather avoid?

There is always something funky to avoid........for me.....cauliflower...mince pie.... anything with jam/cream/yucky stuff inside. I avoided Yorkshire pudding for a long time until I figured out it wasn't actually pudding.

There is always something funky to avoid........for me.....cauliflower...mince pie.... anything with jam/cream/yucky stuff inside. I avoided Yorkshire pudding for a long time until I figured out it wasn't actually pudding.

Cauliflower is hard to love. It really is.

What I don't like is when people slip wacky stuff into something that is good in its basic form. Jamie Oliver, on his Christmas Special, suggested dried fruit in the stuffing. Nothing against dried fruit.....but it's a weird texture to stumble upon in stuffing.

I had an aunt who would slip asparagus into macaroni and cheese. Why?

Well serving yourself seems to me to allow for quiet opt-outs. Isn't there always some funky casserole you'd rather avoid?

Yes! But if i leave something on my plate that already gets served to me, it gets thrown out, whereas if I made my own plate, someone else who likes it could've had it surely.

Even though with that being said, my fiancee and in laws dont seem keen on leftovers. I think that is just them though.

Cauliflower is hard to love. It really is.

What I don't like is when people slip wacky stuff into something that is good in its basic form. Jamie Oliver, on his Christmas Special, suggested dried fruit in the stuffing. Nothing against dried fruit.....but it's a weird texture to stumble upon in stuffing.

I had an aunt who would slip asparagus into macaroni and cheese. Why?

Before you write off cauliflower totally, try roasting it! Oooh, it's so nice when you break it into florets, toss with oil and season with granulated onion&garlic, salt and pepper. Then roast until you feel it's ready in the oven around 160C (fan assisted). I might have to make some again tonight!

Before you write off cauliflower totally, try roasting it! Oooh, it's so nice when you break it into florets, toss with oil and season with granulated onion&garlic, salt and pepper. Then roast until you feel it's ready in the oven around 160C (fan assisted). I might have to make some again tonight!

Hey!! Don't push things toooooo far. I've only just gotten so I don't mind Brussel Spouts (covered in garlic butter of course).

Hey!! Don't push things toooooo far. I've only just gotten so I don't mind Brussel Spouts (covered in garlic butter of course).

Haha, well I shall also suggest roasting the sprouts. Cut em in half, toss in olive oil and salt and pepper. mmmm. Pretty much every vegetable is better roasted. My parents make sprouts in the most heinous way, they steam them with vinegar. I just can't do the smell...

My parents are Mexican so sprouts were not something I had ever seen, never mind eaten before the age of 25 when I moved to the UK. I love them roasted with streaky bacon. Mmmm, bacon. The only thing my MIL has ever put in front of me that had me a little confused was bread sauce. I have no idea why it was put on my plate. I decided to try it and the entire family stopped to watch me eat it. I wasn't particularly impressed. Apparently, only my husband's grandparents ate it and even they told me that they only did to please their daughter-in-law and couldn't really tell her 27 years later that they didn't care for it either. My husband's grandparents have been deceased for a while now but the MIL still serves it for Christmas. I'm guessing she's waiting for a new generation to try it.