Author Topic: Can't handle this anymore  (Read 1080 times)

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Offline ok01

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Can't handle this anymore
« on: October 26, 2015, 06:06:13 AM »
I don't know if I can handle the distance anymore. I've been living apart from him for over a year,  we have been trying to sort out our finances, it's been so difficult .  We had some financial issues and I don't know how much longer I can take it the waiting.   I just feel like this is taking forever .  I'm stressed out, I'm taking care of our daughter on my own, and it's getting really difficult . I don't know how much longer I can take it this long distance relationship, I'm thinking of throwing in the towel . Someone help me :(

Offline physicskate

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Re: Can't handle this anymore
« Reply #1 on: October 26, 2015, 01:35:24 PM »
Are there risks in a long distance relationship? Yes. Does that mean it is always work it? Depends on the day... only you can say what is right for you and what isn't right.

My advice, set small, short-term goals. You have a kid together, these are high stakes, but it doesn't mean you have to be 'stuck'.

You mention in another thread that you have reservations about the UK. Perhaps the USA isn't the solution either. Could a new location for both of you and a fresh start work? Or would you just be running away from problems? Evaluate the situation logically, create pro and con lists try to leave emotions out of it and think about what is best for you and your kid.
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Offline eddyj

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Re: Can't handle this anymore
« Reply #2 on: November 01, 2015, 02:41:11 PM »
I am in the same position..but on a better level where we don't have a daughter, Its just we want this so much we are impatient, taking it slowly and making sure everything is there for the ECO. ..Get on Skype or whatever you use, and thrash it with a straight head not emotionally.. think ahead, and are you both willing meet halfway. Being with my wife..and enjoying the times together we both  miss that..That's what you need to know how he feels honestly are you willing to subject yourself everyday  where the other party is not concrete in what he says ..if he's not then yes. Good people in this forum...are ready to help...

I truly wish you good days ahead and be positive do not throw in the towel yet ..please do not.. you will regret it.
« Last Edit: November 01, 2015, 09:37:28 PM by eddyj »
Met in March, 2014 online through friends on FB
Engaged November 18,  2014
Applied for Marriage Vistor visa May 19, 2015
Visa Arrived in US may 27, 2015
Recieved  my  Marriage Visitor Visa June 15, 2015
Leaving June 23, 2015 maybe
Arrive June 24, 2015
Getting Married August 24,2015
Married august 24, 2015Firs time applied  FAIL
Switched dates Applied September 13, 2016
Email received October 19, 2016
Visa Issued Monday, October 3, 2016 at 17:51

Offline ok01

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Re: Can't handle this anymore
« Reply #3 on: November 12, 2015, 08:11:41 PM »
Are there risks in a long distance relationship? Yes. Does that mean it is always work it? Depends on the day... only you can say what is right for you and what isn't right.

My advice, set small, short-term goals. You have a kid together, these are high stakes, but it doesn't mean you have to be 'stuck'.

You mention in another thread that you have reservations about the UK. Perhaps the USA isn't the solution either. Could a new location for both of you and a fresh start work? Or would you just be running away from problems? Evaluate the situation logically, create pro and con lists try to leave emotions out of it and think about what is best for you and your kid.

Thank you for the advice.  I have thought about a new location for both of us, but Im not sure where... 

I am trying to think of pro and cons, but its pretty even.  I am having such mixed feelings about everything its so weird :(  I had a baby not too long ago, so it might be hormones making me more sad, and scared, and anxious, and wanting things to happen . My child is growing up so fast, and its difficult not to have her dad around to help with things, and be there for her.

Offline ok01

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Re: Can't handle this anymore
« Reply #4 on: November 12, 2015, 08:13:19 PM »
I am in the same position..but on a better level where we don't have a daughter, Its just we want this so much we are impatient, taking it slowly and making sure everything is there for the ECO. ..Get on Skype or whatever you use, and thrash it with a straight head not emotionally.. think ahead, and are you both willing meet halfway. Being with my wife..and enjoying the times together we both  miss that..That's what you need to know how he feels honestly are you willing to subject yourself everyday  where the other party is not concrete in what he says ..if he's not then yes. Good people in this forum...are ready to help...

I truly wish you good days ahead and be positive do not throw in the towel yet ..please do not.. you will regret it.

It's good to know I am not alone, and its good to know other people are in my similar situation.  Yes this forum is amazing, I am so thankful the people on here take the time to reply.  I don't feel as alone anymore.  Thank you, for your reply and I wish you good luck too.   I understand how you feel, about being patient, its so difficult.   

Offline eddyj

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Re: Can't handle this anymore
« Reply #5 on: November 16, 2015, 08:42:09 AM »
For me its a new start to a new life and walking down a different rd. I suspect what i have gone through... a lot of people in love will go through, Having married this beautiful woman, and now on the last step of my journey to be with her..makes it worth every second i wake up.
 Sometimes love is where you least expect it,  far away beyond your imagination, to nurture it,  takes patience understanding, and a lot of trust . Believe me it will work  when both lovers are willing..to sacrifice. it happens everyday,  this type of romance, For me it's going strong, and i will join my wife..just waiting patiently for my passport/Visa. Yes it's lonely..but its all part of understanding yourself, and your feelings and where you find your happiness, which is the most important aspect of a relationship.....BE STRONG.
« Last Edit: November 16, 2015, 11:27:58 AM by eddyj »
Met in March, 2014 online through friends on FB
Engaged November 18,  2014
Applied for Marriage Vistor visa May 19, 2015
Visa Arrived in US may 27, 2015
Recieved  my  Marriage Visitor Visa June 15, 2015
Leaving June 23, 2015 maybe
Arrive June 24, 2015
Getting Married August 24,2015
Married august 24, 2015Firs time applied  FAIL
Switched dates Applied September 13, 2016
Email received October 19, 2016
Visa Issued Monday, October 3, 2016 at 17:51