How about some stories?

 
I'd like to see a thread where people tell some funny stories or crazy adventures that have happened while living in a foreign country.
 
I'll start!  This is the time when I was arrested for setting off a bomb in a hospital.
 
I was living in Prague during the late 1990's and was walking to work early one morning.  I noticed a policeman standing by a phonebox who noticed me at the same time.  Our eyes meet across the park and he quickly started walking my way.  I quickly started walking even faster towards my work as I hadn't renewed my residency permit and wasn't legal to live and work there.  He cugh up with me and asked me for my papers.  I gave him a photocopy of my passport with an outdated photo of me wearing glasses.  He got a bit animated and told me that I should follow him to the phonebox and sit down.
 
Even though I had lived there for a few yers, my knowledge of the diabolical Czech language was only basic.  I was much more interested in drinking beer and seeing the sights than learning an endless amount of conjugations, so while the policeman was gamely trying to interrogate me about something, it wasn't going well.  Luckily a friend from work stopped by and offered to translate and help me out since he saw me surrounded by a growing number of nervous policemen.
 
It turned out that someone had actually placed a bomb in a nearby hospital waiting room to clebrate joining NATO and it had gone off and injured some people.  The bomber had phoned in a bomb threat from this very phone box, and I was the chief suspect.  My only defense was that the bomber made the bomb threat in perfect Czech.  The police were hoping that I actually did speak Czech and kept standing behind me and saying things in Czech or walking up and casually saying things to see if I understood.  Finally, they called the person who had recieved the bomb threat using the same pay phone and pushed me towards the phone box with instructions to talk on the phone so the person could compare voices.  I was only capable of doing one thing on the phone in Czech, and I was well practiced, so I simply asked for a resteraunt reservation at 8 oclock that night.  It worked like a charm, and it was soon obvious to everyone that I wasn't making any bomb threats.
 
The police collected all my details and made me set up an appointment later in the week to go to the police station.  Keep in mind that this was an actual bomb that had blown up actual people, so I had to go to the federal police, the most serious guys.  Being young and stupid, I just breeze in there with no lawyer, not even speaking the language, barely telling anybody where I was going.  I as pretty sure that the police must be sure by then that it wasn't me, but I was too stupid to think of how badly it could all go wrong.
 
I walked in and was met by a very senior policeman.  He told me that they did indeed know I hadn't done it, but since I was in the area maybe I could help identify the bomber.  A witness had seen the person who made the call and described them to a police artist and they had a photofit of the bomber. The policeman put the picture down, and it was an exact likeness of me!  I tried not to laugh and told the cop I'd never seen him before in my life.  They let me go and I never heard anything more about it.
 
Strangely enough, the cops never gave me any grief about not being legal to live and work there.  They must have known but I guess it wasn't a priority.  In between the time I was questioned and the time I went to the police station, I'm fairly certain that some guys were following me around.  Back in communist times, there were plenty of undercover police to follow dissidents around and Havel still had a bunch who kept an eye on him even after he was President becuase they never fire anybody. I must have been the easiest assignment ever as I spent most of my time drinking beer.
 
That's my story - let's hear some more...
 
 
 


 


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

How do you top being sweated by the Stasi in Prague?

I had my spare wallet stolen in Brussels. I put it down on a shop counter and some young guy grabbed it and darted out. There was absolutely nothing in it but a bunch of old Tesco receipts. But it sort of shakes you up a little.

I left the shop and was walking down to the tram stop and I see the guy walking back towards me....and I'm just smiling at him...and he sees me and starts smiling back and shaking his head. We had a little moment there....

But your story brings up a big point. Things happen. How does the justice system in a foreign land differ from what we probably know pretty well back in the US?

What is a "caution" really? To me it sounds like when a policeperson lets you off a speeding ticket with a warning. But apparently there is more to it than that.  I mean, I've watched a bit of Midsomer Murder (my god, what is the murder rate in that village?), but I still don't know the ins and outs of the basic British Court system....

Me neither, a caution sounds suspicious because AFAIK, you haven't been convicted of anything but it still gets recorded somewhere.

It's probably good that you didn't try to confront that pickpocket.  Once I spotted a gang of pickpockets and loudly announced that everyone should be careful.  I got some minor slapping and abuse for my troubles.


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

Once I spotted a gang of pickpockets and loudly announced that everyone should be careful.  I got some minor slapping and abuse for my troubles.

Today, you'd have a bunch of people standing there filming you...

But it is of interest. I was reading on another forum where a poster kept a baseball bat under the bed in case of a break-in. Is it legal? There's been some changes to the proportionality of force laws lately...

The consensus seemed to be that you couldn't get the bast*rd down and beat the pills out of him...or give chase...

Personally, I wonder about the wisdom of slinking down and cornering some guy, or guys......all to save a crappy 3 year old DVD player. A security guy suggested an air horn...or even a vuvuzela.....just crack your door open and start raising one heck of a racket...in all likelihood the guy will panic and bolt out the back door.

In reality and not in the movies or tough guy fantasies, a baseball bat wouldn't help me much if someone was crazy enough to come in my house while I was there.  Fortunately, that kind is stuff doesn't happen as often as the daily mail would like us to believe. 

That said, a family in my neighbourhood was burgled while they slept!  Baseball bat wouldn't have helped them either.


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

Personally, I wonder about the wisdom of slinking down and cornering some guy, or guys......all to save a crappy 3 year old DVD player. A security guy suggested an air horn...or even a vuvuzela.....just crack your door open and start raising one heck of a racket...in all likelihood the guy will panic and bolt out the back door.

If it's important enough, it should be insured anyway, right? Nothing I own is worth the trouble except for the family's well being. My four legged friend swings the big stick anyway. I feel pretty confident that he's a pretty solid deterrent. A bit of Pedigree, some table scraps and a belly scratch now and again is all he asks for in return.

But it is of interest. I was reading on another forum where a poster kept a baseball bat under the bed in case of a break-in.

 This fits in with my theory of why so many Americans want hand guns "for protection". At least inside the house (if I was still back there).....if I want "protection" I would get a pump shotgun. If the sound of the pump didn't make them piss their pants, it wouldn't take much more effort to ruin their day and you can be a crap shot and still get the job done. Most people can't hit diddly-poo with a little hand gun.....but it makes them "feel" better. Same with a bat. Although.....setting off a shotgun in the house would probably cause you some work afterwards... 

I don't know.....do people really picture themselves hearing a thump downstairs and sneaking down with their pistol and creeping in on the culprit in the dark and shooting them/engaging in a gun battle?

I think even highly trained cops, in reality, prefer to hold back and establish a perimeter....not engage in heroics. Why corner a guy in a difficult situation?

In the UK, where an intruder probably doesn't have a gun....but may have a knife....does anyone really want to spring out on him with a cricket bat and engage in what is now a life or death struggle?

My father-in-law is a gun owner, loves the things....carries a fully legal, registered pistol in his glove compartment of his SUV. I think he pictures a hijacking situation where somebody tries to get in to him and he reaches over pulls out his automatic and shoots the guy. I'm thinking what is more likely is that somebody steals his SUV while he's in Publix, and now there's his gun floating around out there somewhere. Or if he is attacked/robbed....it happens while he is at the back loading up groceries....and that pistol might as well be in China for all the good it will do him.

I don't know.....do people really picture themselves hearing a thump downstairs and sneaking down with their pistol and creeping in on the culprit in the dark and shooting them/engaging in a gun battle?

Yep. But as I said earlier, it's not about whether they will do it........it's that in their minds they can do it if they need to/want to. So many things people do, they do in order to feel more comfortable.

All I need to do if I want to be reminded of how diverse/insane people's opinions are.......read the comments section of a political article. The crazy different views and the absolute hatred some people have towards others is really scary.

Yep. But as I said earlier, it's not about whether they will do it........it's that in their minds they can do it if they need to/want to. So many things people do, they do in order to feel more comfortable.

It is understandable...

I like to think that there is a bit of just plain luck involved. Those people at the concert in Paris....or the corner store in the earlier attacks. Just wrong place at the wrong time.

And along those lines....there's the intruder who isn't breaking in to steal....but is a psychotic hell-bent on duct taping you to a kitchen chair and twisting parts off with a set of needle-nosed pliers.

In that case, which is probably down to bad luck too, I can see where a shotgun would be worth its weight in gold if you could get the drop on the guy (and though luck is luck....It takes a pretty sanguine guy to come to taped to a chair and think, "Well, it just isn't my day is it?).

But then again, it has been established that the most dangerous thing you can possibly have in your house....something almost guaranteed to cause serious bodily harm.....is a stepladder. And people worry themselves silly about intruders when the evil stepladder sits there patiently waiting to throw you down when you least expect it. That's the sneaky SOB you have to watch for.