For me, I live the same life here that I did in the US
This is probably similar to my perspective. There are daily practicalities that...even in India or Cape Town....you do on a regular basis that consume most of your time. Subtract out work, sleep and things like shopping and eating...you know....
If you like to read or exercise or paint...any sort of transferable hobby....then you do those things here almost exactly as anywhere. Give me a soft chair, a cup of coffee and a biography on Pope Pius XI...and I could be anywhere in the world and be happy. However, as population density is for-the-most-part greater here in the South of England....the chances for noisy neighbours are greater. So having a quiet read can be a challenge cheek to jowl with a large-familied neighbour with a new trampoline.
But again, as KF says, if I can sort of paraphrase, there is a sort of intangible 'hominess' that a place can have for some people. I think perhaps for some....that feeling can almost be a negative....if they are prone to wanderlust.
Regarding that, it seems that we hear with some frequency that it may be true that it is harder to make friends/become part of the community here.....which may be a major part of developing the feeling of "home". I don't know....I feel I am an untrustworthy test subject for that, as I don't know that Western society itself hasn't evolved into a more closed-naturedness. I certainly remember having lots more friends in my 20's in the US.....but who doesn't?
One comment I read somewhere regarding this difficulty of establishing friendships ran along the lines that if you move to an area later in life....that you find other people have already sort of filled out their friendship dockets already. There is just no more room in people's lives for another relationship....when their current relationships already demand so much.
Are Brits more standoffish? Perhaps. I will say that as an American immigrant...I think that the natives have a bit more trouble pigeon-holing you. I think there is a tendency/trait of humanity to sort/categorize new people.....probably some sort of evolutionary function....useful when a new tribe approached over the horizon at the water hole. Perhaps the Neanderthal lacked this....and misjudged, with terrible result, upon meeting the first few
Sapiens....
And I think that in particular here in Britain....where societal pockets formed (as shown by the distinctive area-related accents and slang), and where perhaps class plays a stronger role, that snap judgements are quickly made. Clothing seems to be a strong marker.
I was reading a fascinating article about tattoos...where the author wrote about observing two heavily tattooed people talking at a party in London. The one (from accent partially) was determined to be "working class" and had a jumble of mismatched designs...where as the other....a middle-class looking hipster....had a very coordinated "sleeve". Perhaps that sort of judgement moment exists in the US, but I can't help but think of Mark Zuckerburg in his T-shirt and jeans or Bill Gates in his dockers and button-down oxford.
And specifically for the American immigrant, I feel that we don't quite fit into these standard judgement parameters. If you were say Somalian, the British native could easily slip you into a category (well of course you are the UK, you are probably a refugee, and all refugees are headed for the UK). Obviously this judgement can be totally wrong...and is in itself sort of morally dodgy....but even when mistaken, or even the product of bigotry, it allows the native to be quickly comfortable with the relationship.
An American, though.....just why are you here? And how long will you be here? And what is that American accent? Is that Long Island? Kansas City? Are you a hick, or a stockbroker? Or a hick stockbroker? There is just a little more confusion....
