Possible Move: Considerations

Or maybe just too thick to understand I'm being made fun of...

Yes but listen your above statement may be true....

What if when I leave the room they all go, "What an idiot...."

If they use irony I'm completely lost.


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Thank you all for these perspectives.

Yes, 15-20 credit cards when you play the miles/points game is really small. I haven't paid for a flight overseas in 6 years and I only fly business class when on my own dime. All miles

Friendships isn't really a concern. I immigrated to the US on a marriage visa. My husband is my best friend and really my only friend outside of work colleagues. So I'm not really concerned about "fitting in."

I am definitely more adventurous...hubby is tied to the US (he's using excuses now of family that he never sees). My family is all in Canada, but we only see each other once a year or less now anyways. So that wouldn't change. I would just be slightly further away if an emergency happened.

We're hung up on the immediate hassles (selling everything, immigrating, terminating car leases, transporting pets) than the long-term benefits. Professionally this is a boon (*I think. I'm visiting next week and will learn a lot more). Personally, it is a dream come true. I've spent many a weekend trying to figure out if I qualify for ancestry citizenship in any country (sadly I don't...grandparents immigrated from non-ancestry countries).

However, I am concerned that I romanticize Europe. As a non-American living in the US I am quite critical of the political system, health care system, etc. But I grew up in a quasi-socialized country.

Hubby's concerns are about being comfortable...having adequate space indoors, etc.

However, I am concerned that I romanticize Europe.

You sound very self-aware....it can be a blessing and a curse.

Listen, I and many here say that there is a great deal of sameness here....the practicalities of daily life. But there have been moments here that have far exceeded any romantic thoughts I may have had before arriving.

Living in Bristol, I was there for a celebration of the Brunel-designed Clifton Suspension Bridge - an awe-inspiring thing in itself - and attended a concert on the green. I don't remember what orchestra it was.....but it was heavy on brass....and they absolutely blew my hat off. To stand there, in a lovely part of Bristol, with the sun setting over the Avon Gorge (a natural wonder) with those guys playing rousing British numbers....

And my favourite trip to London...I love going into the City....the tube to me is up there with the lighthouse of Alexandria as an engineering marvel - to visit the National Gallery. To begin with, it is free (you can contribute - and I do), but that it is free to all is such a great thing.

Because in there, there is a room with several works from Monet's Japanese Bridge period on one wall....and directly opposite, one of Van Gogh's  Sunflowers. So you can stand there and turn and be in the midst of that. And when you leave the room, on a long wall is Caravaggio's Supper at Emmaus. Coming from that room with the impressionist masters, you would think that nothing man-made in this world could top that, but the Caravaggio is like a physical force. It made me cry.

As if that wasn't enough, I had tickets to see Beckett's Waiting for Godot stariing Patrick Stewart, Ian McKellen and Simon Callow afterwards.

Where else but in London?

Thank you all for these perspectives.

Yes, 15-20 credit cards when you play the miles/points game is really small. I haven't paid for a flight overseas in 6 years and I only fly business class when on my own dime. All miles

Friendships isn't really a concern. I immigrated to the US on a marriage visa. My husband is my best friend and really my only friend outside of work colleagues. So I'm not really concerned about "fitting in."

I am definitely more adventurous...hubby is tied to the US (he's using excuses now of family that he never sees). My family is all in Canada, but we only see each other once a year or less now anyways. So that wouldn't change. I would just be slightly further away if an emergency happened.

We're hung up on the immediate hassles (selling everything, immigrating, terminating car leases, transporting pets) than the long-term benefits. Professionally this is a boon (*I think. I'm visiting next week and will learn a lot more). Personally, it is a dream come true. I've spent many a weekend trying to figure out if I qualify for ancestry citizenship in any country (sadly I don't...grandparents immigrated from non-ancestry countries).

However, I am concerned that I romanticize Europe. As a non-American living in the US I am quite critical of the political system, health care system, etc. But I grew up in a quasi-socialized country.

Hubby's concerns are about being comfortable...having adequate space indoors, etc.

I see signs that this is what you want to do, but your husband is not.  You'll have to deal with that before you make your decision or it will turn into a huge problem.  Living in a foreign country and dealing with the uncomfortable bits and appreciating the great bits is all fun if you want to do it.  If not, you ca quickly start to hate the place and the person who made you move.

I'm not so sure this applies in Coventry, but in London your hubbies fears about floor space are absolutely justified.  People here have the washing machine in their kitchens and dry their laundry on racks in the living room for God's sake.  All because there's no space.  If hubby wants a workshop, or a place to store s trailer full of jet skis, it ain't happening , certainly not in London.


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Yes, you are hitting the nail on the head. Hubby is definitely reluctant. He doesn't work, so that isn't a concern. He isn't particularly close with family...I think he is just less adventurous than I am. Yes, we live a nice comfortable life now...but that doesn't mean we wouldn't in Europe too. It's just a different life.

Sounds like your work is cut out for you.  There have been some academic books about what happens when you move to a different culture, you may find something like that handy in accommodating your husbands feelings.  Google "Culture Shock " but not the books for a specific culture, look for the general work.

Does he have some hobby or interest that may make the move more attractive?

By the way, I just heard something about Coventry getting some award, maybe the city of culture. 


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Hi jimbo,

Thank you. Yes, it does make it more difficult. He is not really a travel/culture/art person...all of those are big draws for me (I live in TX right now; not the kind of culture or history I am interested in). He is telling me to go this weekend being very positive and open-minded and that he'll do whatever I want. I think he is saying this because he anticipates running into visa problems (he has a 20+ yr old criminal record that may bar entry). He is cool with me traveling alone and spending months in Europe to satisfy my wanderlust.

We both like to move around though...so the "screw it, let's move somewhere far away" is also appealing.

I foresee a tough month ahead in decision making.

Unless he was sentenced to more than 4 years in prison, his visa should not be refused based on a 20-year-old conviction. It may take a bit longer to process the visa while they look into it, but it shouldn't be a reason for a refusal.


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We just got his FBI record. He had three convictions totaling 330 days + 3 years probation. They all occurred between 1994 and 1995 during a dark period of drug addiction. He has a LOT more arrests on there (which makes him look really bad...but I don't think those can be held against someone because they aren't convictions), but only these three were charged and convicted.

The three convictions aren't the best: possession of controlled substance (30 days + a period of probation), forgery (forging a check; 270 days + 3 years probation), and possession of stolen goods (30 days + probation).

I believe they are all felonies, but his time was served in county jail (not prison). We had one of the convictions changed to a 'not guilty' plea and we are now going to work on having everything expunged. But that will probably take time.

I plan on contacting an immigration attorney in the UK when I return to see what they say.

Yes, it's a good idea to speak to an immigration lawyer - here on the forum we generally recommend either Laura Devine (NYC and London) or Medivisas (London).

If you'd like to read more regarding when they will refuse visas based on criminal convictions, the information is here: https://www.gov.uk/government/publications/when-can-i-refuse-on-the-grounds-of-criminality-rfl10/when-can-i-refuse-on-the-grounds-of-criminality


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Thanks ksand. I found the medivisas on here, but I'll also check the NY office.

I have tried to muddle through the stuff online, but it's unclear about multiple convictions and whether they will ignore the sentencing of the USA and use what the max sentencing could be in the UK (then we're in trouble).

Definitely a task for attorney.