Author Topic: Adopting/Fostering Children as an immigrant  (Read 801 times)

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Offline margo

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Adopting/Fostering Children as an immigrant
« on: December 30, 2016, 09:49:20 PM »
After freezing my butt off and realizing that I truly can't handle another 5 years in my current house/city, we finally settled on a solid plan to get me to England that won't leave me as overwhelmed as I've been. So hopefully in 8-9 months from now the rules won't change much with Brexit! (The economic uncertainty still scares me, but we'll be living closer to his family and that makes me a lot more comfortable.) 

But that brings me to a question for our family planning once we're settled. Do any of you have experience with adopting or fostering children in the UK while an immigrant? I'm really just starting to research the "how" of it all so any personal experiences would be so helpful. We want a family, but I don't think my body could handle it - my hips and SI joint are already sliding out of place regularly, and I'm very weary of the 50% chance I have of passing on terrible genes. I'm not really looking at adopting a newborn because I know those are always in demand and find homes immediately, but a toddler or younger child. Thanks!

Offline jimbocz

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Re: Adopting/Fostering Children as an immigrant
« Reply #1 on: January 03, 2017, 05:18:44 PM »
That sounds like a great idea and I hope it works out for you.  If you don't get any solid answers here, I've got a friend who is a social worker and I think he's very knowledgeable about fostering.  And he's candid about potential problems.  PM me if you want his contact info

Offline KFdancer

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Re: Adopting/Fostering Children as an immigrant
« Reply #2 on: January 03, 2017, 05:42:51 PM »
I don't think Brexit will affect UK citizens sponsoring spouses, so wouldn't worry there!

I have a fellow American friend in my area that has struggled with fertility (PCOS) and they have been turned down for fostering and adoption.  I can find out more details why.  I believe it was due to her immigration status.

Offline margo

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Re: Adopting/Fostering Children as an immigrant
« Reply #3 on: January 04, 2017, 06:45:13 PM »
I don't think Brexit will affect UK citizens sponsoring spouses, so wouldn't worry there!

I have a fellow American friend in my area that has struggled with fertility (PCOS) and they have been turned down for fostering and adoption.  I can find out more details why.  I believe it was due to her immigration status.

Hrm, that's disturbing. Based on the government website it says you do not have to be a UK citizen, but do need a permanent residence in the UK and be living in the country for at least a year before you can be considered. I wonder if fostering the requirements are different, but having a full year to settle into life together also seems reasonable! So I'll probably have to revisit this sometime in 2018. :) I figured others may be in the same boat so it was worth asking about.

https://www.gov.uk/child-adoption/overview

Online ksand24

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Re: Adopting/Fostering Children as an immigrant
« Reply #4 on: January 04, 2017, 07:08:27 PM »
but do need a permanent residence in the UK and be living in the country for at least a year before you can be considered.

Actually, it just says you need to have made a permanent home in the UK (and have been living in the UK for a year)... which is not the same as holding permanent residence.

It takes 5 years to qualify for permanent residence (ILR) in the UK, but it looks like they just mean that you need to be legally resident in the UK, not a permanent resident:
http://www.first4adoption.org.uk/who-can-adopt-a-child/who-cant-adopt/

Offline margo

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Re: Adopting/Fostering Children as an immigrant
« Reply #5 on: January 04, 2017, 08:14:14 PM »
Yeah, I meant "permanent residence" as a home in the UK for at least a year, not a permanent resident visa. Sorry for the confusing wording! From KFDancer's post it sounds like there may be more considerations related to immigration status than are listed on the government website though.

Offline KFdancer

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Re: Adopting/Fostering Children as an immigrant
« Reply #6 on: January 04, 2017, 10:15:31 PM »
I'll get details from her.  I know she was devastated!

Offline margo

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Re: Adopting/Fostering Children as an immigrant
« Reply #7 on: January 05, 2017, 10:18:12 PM »
I'll get details from her.  I know she was devastated!

I definitely would be too. I hope they find a way to have a family, even if it takes slightly longer due to immigration. I just want to know what we're in for if that's the case! If your friend isn't comfortable sharing that info publicly, I can give you my e-mail in a PM.

Offline KFdancer

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Re: Adopting/Fostering Children as an immigrant
« Reply #8 on: January 25, 2017, 12:08:50 PM »
Margo, I finally was able to ask the details again (not too easy to drop into conversation).

I knew it was an outrageous reason - but I was wrong on the reason.  It's not her immigration status.  Her BMI is too high.   ::)   Seriously, still an outrageous reason!

Offline margo

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Re: Adopting/Fostering Children as an immigrant
« Reply #9 on: January 26, 2017, 04:37:18 AM »
Holy crap!! Wow. That would not be legal in the US, at least I don't think it would. That makes me even more concerned though because my health issues will never go away, but that doesn't mean my husband and I can't be good parents. *sigh* Looks like I'll have to do a lot of research on the local councils/adoption groups to see what their disqualifying conditions are. 

Has she tried again since then or appealed that decision in any way? I guess I have a lot to learn if weight can be a factor there (In the US 2/3rds of the population is overweight and it's been established that BMI is not a fully accurate measure of health.)


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Offline KFdancer

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Re: Adopting/Fostering Children as an immigrant
« Reply #10 on: January 26, 2017, 09:05:26 AM »
Yes, she has health issues that contribute to her weight.  She's a bit fluffy but she's certainly not obese!

She said they were shocked as they went in thinking they'd be wanted.  Own their own home, financially stable, stable relationship, can afford to provide a high quality of life with private education, travel, etc.  She's making 2017 about "her" and hoping that she'll have lost enough weight by the end of the year to be reconsidered.

But anyways, I was absolutely wrong about the issue being immigration status - so at least that's something that's not an issue!

Offline jimbocz

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Re: Adopting/Fostering Children as an immigrant
« Reply #11 on: January 26, 2017, 09:44:18 AM »
People in the U.K. Love to talk about how far Americans are , it's one of the few ways they can feel superior. 

The truth is that people are just as fat here.  The UK is easily the fattest in Western Europe.

Offline KFdancer

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Re: Adopting/Fostering Children as an immigrant
« Reply #12 on: January 26, 2017, 09:46:29 AM »
People in the U.K. Love to talk about how far Americans are , it's one of the few ways they can feel superior. 

The truth is that people are just as fat here.  The UK is easily the fattest in Western Europe.

Oh yes!  And people always tell me about their portion sizes in the US (not surprisingly, they have usually gone to the Cheesecake Factory).  I just explain you are not meant to eat the entire meal in one sitting.   ;)  Nor is an appetizer meant to be for a single person. 

Offline jimbocz

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Re: Adopting/Fostering Children as an immigrant
« Reply #13 on: January 26, 2017, 10:28:18 AM »
Exactly! 

Offline margo

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Re: Adopting/Fostering Children as an immigrant
« Reply #14 on: January 27, 2017, 12:17:00 AM »
I was absolutely wrong about the issue being immigration status - so at least that's something that's not an issue!

Sadly I think the real reason is even more disturbing than if it'd been immigrant status!

And yes, for food portions if you ask for a takeout container in the UK you're met with odd looks. In the US at any chain restaurant they fully expect to be sending you home with half (or more) of your meal!


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