Author Topic: New Member! NYC to UK...Maybe?  (Read 1143 times)

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Offline KFdancer

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Re: New Member! NYC to UK...Maybe?
« Reply #15 on: January 25, 2017, 03:44:42 PM »
I also completely agree.  It's good to be able to see the pros and cons of both countries.

I like that the doors go all the way to the ground on the public bathrooms here.  It's the little things!   ;D

Offline jimbocz

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Re: New Member! NYC to UK...Maybe?
« Reply #16 on: January 25, 2017, 04:10:38 PM »
Wasn't a midwife led unit if there was an epidural.  The birth may have only been attended by midwives, but to have an epidural you have to be on the consultant-led ward.  One of the few things that's consistent across the NHS.

Okay, I'm sure you are more up to date on that stuff than I am.  It all happened 10 years ago and is turning into a soft blur.  In one way I am envious of you for going through all that again.  On the other hand, I'm glad to have other issues:

Is it OK that my 10 year old has invited 5 Russian girls to his birthday party, but only one boy?

How many kids can log into a single instance of Minecraft PE?

Is one kilo of chocolate for the fountain enough?

Offline KFdancer

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Re: New Member! NYC to UK...Maybe?
« Reply #17 on: January 25, 2017, 04:17:01 PM »
Lol!  I am not envious of going through it all again!  Just really want this kid delivered safe and healthy.  Lots of risks that have me way too nervous to be excited.  I know I'll be ecstatic when I've got my boy in my arms, regardless though.  I just struggle with the NHS - which is why so much of my care is private.  I want to give my kid every chance at being healthy!

So your son inviting mostly girls to his party, tells me he's a lady's man.   ;)

I think Minecraft is a computer game.  I'm incredibly grateful that my now-husband doesn't play computer games (first husband was obsessed).  Haven't a clue, but I can google.

Well, what do the instructions say?  Mmmmm.... chocolate fountain....  can I come dunk my head under it?!?  I haven't seen a chocolate fountain since moving to the UK (well, except at the mall).  I'm very envious right now!

Offline jimbocz

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Re: New Member! NYC to UK...Maybe?
« Reply #18 on: January 25, 2017, 04:23:37 PM »
I think those Russian girls are going to dip my boy in the chocolate fountain. 

Don't make yourself too nervous, it will all be OK on the day.

Offline KFdancer

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Re: New Member! NYC to UK...Maybe?
« Reply #19 on: January 25, 2017, 04:26:05 PM »
Don't make yourself too nervous, it will all be OK on the day.

I'm not at all worried about the birth.  That ends.   ;D  I worry that I'm receiving the right care.  My daughter wasn't growing and they didn't catch it (even though I was being monitored).  She's perfect and healthy.  I don't care that she was small (4 pounds full term).  I don't grow babies very well.  Just hoping that if this baby isn't getting what he needs from me, that they catch it this time.  I really don't want to leave it up to luck again!

Offline eatoomey

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Re: New Member! NYC to UK...Maybe?
« Reply #20 on: January 26, 2017, 02:38:58 PM »
I like the quality of life here more than I do life in the states, but there are compromises. I like that I have paid zero for anything health related - I live in Scotland and don't even have to pay for prescriptions. It does take time to get used to how dire everything can look here, but then I think back to hospitals in the states, with huge atriums and rando other fancy sh*t and I think to myself - I'd rather it look sh*t but be satisfactory and free than to have useless niceties but have to pay out the nose for it. My sister's births cost thousands and that was with insurance. And they were waaaaay over-medicalised, all three of them, with no chance of progressing naturally.
I was able to have two attempted homebirths on the NHS, one successful and one not, for no money at all. Did you know the midwives and health visitors come to your house to check on your and your baby after the birth - hospital births included?
Any other health problems we've had (minor, to be sure) have been dealt with perfectly fine on the NHS. And in the meantime, we are free to live without crippling medical debt or fear of it.
My husband works and I stay at home and work part time, not so much out of choice initially but its worked out really well. From the term after a child's third birthday, they get a nursery place for 16 hours a week, so I am currently writing this message from a child-free house - woohoo! Childcare is very expensive, as it is most places, but at least its highly regulated, unlike in the states, where wee babies can be left in home-daycare with about a thousand other kids. I exaggerate, but still - its hit or miss and I'm sure if you're not wealthy, you can feel forced to put your kid in some pretty subpar childcare situations in the states, just to be able to get by.
My ma always wants us to move back to the states, saying that my husband, who's an electronics engineer, would make tonnes more money there.
Which is true.
However, here, he works 8/9 hour days, tops. He never works from home. He gets nearly two weeks off at Christmas and another 3-4 weeks to take over the course of the year. And all this is taken as normal - he's still progressing within his company and isn't seen as a slacker or anything. I don't think that'd be the same if we lived back in the states.
Moving away from the states showed me how much I didn't really need, even if it is nice. I'd like a tumble drier, but I don't need one. I'd like a bigger house, but its not necessary. A bigger car would be sweet, but when I go home and see everyone driving around in huge cars it just seems a bit wasteful. Handy, for sure, but not necessary.
I dunno. These are just my thoughts. And I live in Scotland and things are different up here, simpler.
:)
Sept 2001 - June 2006: studied at the University of Glasgow and the University of Strathclyde
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Offline Finch

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Re: New Member! NYC to UK...Maybe?
« Reply #21 on: January 26, 2017, 02:56:06 PM »
@eatoomey thanks that's a great perspective! I moved to NYC from Texas five years ago and had a similar transition, no big houses, no big cars, no washer and dryer in my apartment. Moving to the UK would still be a new transition of course. My husband and I are very conscious of not using too much, we take public transport almost always, when I go back to Tx and see hundreds of cars all with one person in them it feels wasteful. And I'm really interested in how much better the UK is at being environmentally friendly (compared to US, obviously they still aren't as good as some other countries but for us it's a step in the right direction).

The work life balance is also a huge point! Thank you for bringing that up, NYC especially is really bad, I just saw my boss who is a great employee get passed over for a promotion; she has to leave by 7pm every day to get her daughter from daycare and people always talk about how she's unreliable because she can't stay til 8-9pm at night like the rest of us. Which by the way I hate and think is a horrible way to treat employees! I know all companies are different but I do think culturally the UK values a healthy work life balance more than NYC companies.

Offline jimbocz

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New Member! NYC to UK...Maybe?
« Reply #22 on: January 26, 2017, 03:51:40 PM »
What are you guys doing until 8 o'clock every night?   Do you come in at 11 or something?  How do you have a life if you can't leave before 8?  Do you have dinner with your husband at 11 or something? 

I'm not having a go at you, I'm just surprised.    If I had to work like that I'd leave the country as well.

How does it work if you pick up your kid from daycare after 7:30? 

Around here, daycare closes at 6, if you are late they threaten to call social services.
« Last Edit: January 26, 2017, 03:54:19 PM by jimbocz »

Offline Finch

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Re: New Member! NYC to UK...Maybe?
« Reply #23 on: January 26, 2017, 04:05:38 PM »
 @jimbocz no those are great questions!

The daycare one is the same except my boss her daycare closes at 7:30pm so as long as she's there before then she's good, I don't have children so I'm not 100% sure but I would assume if she's late they charge her a fee for the staff having to stay late and maybe call social services but can't confirm that.

I work in advertising at a pretty big firm, we have busy seasons and slow seasons, so during a slow season I work 9am til 6pm (which it annoys me that in NYC 9-6 is normal not 9-5 but there's not much I can do), during slow seasons I leave my apartment at 8am and get home at 7pm, walk the dog and then eat dinner around 8pm with the husband.  During busy seasons which are really only the first few weeks of the new quarter (so 6-8 weeks a year about) we work from 9am til 9 or 10 at night to get everything completed in time for production for new creative etc. Those nights usually our team orders dinner to be delivered and the company pays (nice perk) and my husband is on his own for dinner.

I will also say I work at a pretty "progressive" company for USA. I get 2 weeks of paid vacation and 17 bank holidays. My husband gets 2 weeks paid vacation and 10 bank holidays. I get 4 weeks of paid maternity leave (my company meets FMLA guidelines so I can take up to 12 weeks but the final 8 will be 0 pay), and my husband gets 4 weeks of paid paternity leave. Also my husband works at a different company in a different field just fyi

From my understanding and my husbands experience when he worked in Leeds the UK work life balance is much much better

Offline sonofasailor

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Re: New Member! NYC to UK...Maybe?
« Reply #24 on: January 26, 2017, 05:25:56 PM »
health visitors come to your house to check on your and your baby after the birth - hospital births included?

Poking their noses into corners and cupboards....
Build your opponent a golden bridge to retreat across - Sun Tzu

Offline lorenausuk

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Re: New Member! NYC to UK...Maybe?
« Reply #25 on: January 26, 2017, 05:46:40 PM »
Poking their noses into corners and cupboards....

My youngest child's health visitor walked in, introduced herself to me and my infant child and my three-year-old and then asked me if I wanted either tea or coffee. She went into my kitchen and made me a cup, brought it over and took my daughter and told me to put my feet up or read a book or watch tv for half an hour and she would attend to the baby and my son. My husband was living and working in Germany and only came home 72 days a year every year for seven years. I was more than happy to have the health visitor "poking their noses into corners and cupboards..." for 30 minutes of company and another pair of arms to hold my baby. I immediately wanted to train to be a health visitor after that experience but my health authority stopped that program the following year.


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Offline sonofasailor

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Re: New Member! NYC to UK...Maybe?
« Reply #26 on: January 26, 2017, 05:56:52 PM »
Just kidding!! I read that somewhere.
Build your opponent a golden bridge to retreat across - Sun Tzu

Offline eatoomey

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Re: New Member! NYC to UK...Maybe?
« Reply #27 on: January 26, 2017, 06:02:38 PM »
Just kidding!! I read that somewhere.
Ooft. You just saved yourself a shedload of trouble, sonofasailor. I was about to go on a rant about how I was much happier to have my various perineal stitches examined in the privacy and comfort of my own home, thanks very much to those very nosey midwives.
 ;)
Luckily, now no one needs to hear the details.
Sept 2001 - June 2006: studied at the University of Glasgow and the University of Strathclyde
Aug 2010 - Dec 2010: in UK on holiday visa
Jan 2011: issued fiancée visa
July 2011: issued FLR(M)
March 2012: DD1
June 2013: issued ILR
November 2013: DD2

Offline KFdancer

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Re: New Member! NYC to UK...Maybe?
« Reply #28 on: January 26, 2017, 06:22:18 PM »
Sadly in my area, only the first follow up visit is done in the home.  All others you have to go to them.  I get it, the NHS is strapped and cuts have had to be made.

It is definitely nice that they come to you for the first visit though!

I believe if you have no option, they will still arrange a home visit.

My health visitor was also super nice.  Her new daughter in law was American and she was asking me what she could do to help her feel more at home.  I thought that was very kind!
« Last Edit: January 26, 2017, 06:23:34 PM by KFdancer »

Offline sonofasailor

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Re: New Member! NYC to UK...Maybe?
« Reply #29 on: January 26, 2017, 06:32:57 PM »
Luckily, now no one needs to hear the details.

My thirst for knowledge demanded I look up "perineal stitches"....
Build your opponent a golden bridge to retreat across - Sun Tzu