Author Topic: Resource recommendations for beginning an international marriage?  (Read 107 times)

0 Members and 1 Guest are viewing this topic.

Offline AV

  • *
  • Posts: 346
  • Joined: Dec 2016
  • Liked: 37
Does anyone have recommended resources/recommendations for beginning an international marriage? I don't mean the logistics of visa procedures, but the emotional complications, etc. (I'm USC, she's UKC, and we've just gotten engaged with the hope of me relocating to England.)

My fiancee gave me a copy of Very British Problems (:D) and Watching the English, but I'm also looking for resources about international marriage in general.

Here's an article I found helpful: http://www.multilingualliving.com/2013/07/29/10-reasons-not-marry-foreigner-like-i-did/

And another: http://en.rocketnews24.com/2014/04/26/6-challenges-to-international-relationships-and-how-to-make-them-work/

Any other suggestions? Or personal advice from experience?
Met my wife in January of 2015
Engaged February 10, 2017
Married March 3, 2017
Online application submitted April 5, 2017
Biometrics & shipping to UK April 17, 2017
Email confirmation from Sheffield April 24, 2017
Hoping to move to the UK in late spring or early summer of 2017!

Offline jimbocz

  • *
  • Posts: 1587
  • Joined: Sep 2015
  • Liked: 274
Re: Resource recommendations for beginning an international marriage?
« Reply #1 on: January 31, 2017, 11:59:51 AM »
That "10 reasons " article was brutally true.  I'd say you have to look at all ten of those things and be sure you are cool with it before you can agree to get married. 

On the other hand, I've been married to my French wife and have lived out of the states for more than 20 years now and I wouldn't trade the experience for anything.  While each of those 10 things are true and must be dealt with, there are hundreds of good things. 

My only other piece of advice would be to find a book called something like "Culture Shock " that talks about the process of living in a foreign place and how to adjust to it.  There is a similar series that is focused on individual countries, but you want the one that is generic.  I read it 20 years ago but still follow the advice today. 

In short, don't insult your hosts or say how much better it is in the states.  Nobody wants to hear it. 

Don't hang around with only Americans and moan all the time. 

Do what the British are doing and enjoy it.  If you are annoyed about some local custom or have a need that is not being met, emulate what the locals do.  They have the same needs and somehow they cope.  For example, if you convince yourself that you really want Captain Crunch for breakfast, you can pay big bucks and get some shipped.  Or you can fill your suitcase when you go home.  However, the locals don't do that, they eat local cereal and are plenty happy.  It's cheap and available everywhere.  Just eat it.  Soon you will love it, and moan that you miss it when you are back home.  You will bore your friends talking about how good the cereal is.