Author Topic: So effing screwed  (Read 2339 times)

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Offline lyonaria

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Re: So effing screwed
« Reply #15 on: February 03, 2017, 06:18:58 PM »
That's really sweet!

If you wanted to bring back a US Caramello I would be your friend forever!

The UK one has different caramel. It's chewy! Haha.

And it's definitely not fun for everyone. He's doing a bit better though! I'm sure it upended your families plans. I'm glad she's doing better though.
The usual. American girl meets British guy. They fall into like, then into love. Then there was the big decision. The American traveled across the pond to join the Brit. And life was never the same again.

Online larrabee

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Re: So effing screwed
« Reply #16 on: February 03, 2017, 08:37:28 PM »
Hang in there Lyonaria.  :) You'll get there, with your husband's help, or without it!  ;)


March 29th 2013-Moved to UK, husband on spouse visa.Oct 20th 2015-Applied by mail for FLR(M).Feb 1st 2016 FLR(M).

Offline BriKH

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Re: So effing screwed
« Reply #17 on: February 03, 2017, 09:43:46 PM »
Yikes, what a nightmare!! I'm glad you have the passport now though, and I know how you feel about the not driving thing and having to depend on the husband. It sucks :-(

I actually thought of you yesterday lyonaria because I was speaking with someone From Derbyshire trying to set up a program in a football club and because I have experience, I may head down there to give a bit of advice. If I do, we should have a coffee and a good old rant!

Kfdancer I hope home is enjoyable right now :) I just found out my mom is selling my grandma's house there so I'm devastated and desperate to get back before it sells to see it one last time! Oh...and the Florida sun is much needed right now! :-)

Online KFdancer

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Re: So effing screwed
« Reply #18 on: February 03, 2017, 10:56:29 PM »
Kfdancer I hope home is enjoyable right now :) I just found out my mom is selling my grandma's house there so I'm devastated and desperate to get back before it sells to see it one last time! Oh...and the Florida sun is much needed right now! :-)

Thank you, it's exactly what I needed right now.  Winter blues were closing in fast!

Lyonaria, I've added Caramellos to my list.   :)

Offline BertineC

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Re: So effing screwed
« Reply #19 on: February 03, 2017, 11:09:43 PM »
Stuff like passports and visa things I tend to be more on top of so I keep all of it in a neat little stack (along with other important things like: wallet with all US bank cards, US drivers licenses, foreign currency, US bank checkbooks and Swedish/UK bank random number generator thingies) in a specific drawer so 1) I know for peace of mind they are always there and 2) if he needs anything he knows where to get it, and that it goes right back into the drawer once used.

I also file all the paper in the house into an accordion file I got so I wouldnt lose things like P45s, tax info, retirement stuff, gas bills, blah blah blah. Im more plugged into the visa thing so I know which paper to keep and where.

HOWEVER - I hate paying bills so other half deals with that. It seemed like a more equitable division of labor. Do you guys have some way that you could maybe divide things up a bit? (of course there are plenty of days when I feel like I m doing 90% of the house stuff but then we adjust).

Otherwise yeah, that sounds like a seriously crappy week.

Offline lyonaria

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Re: So effing screwed
« Reply #20 on: February 04, 2017, 11:54:31 AM »
Hang in there Lyonaria.  :) You'll get there, with your husband's help, or without it!  ;)

Thanks larrabee. It's been an interesting week. I'm so glad it's the weekend. I'miss finishing as much as I can this weekend. Have to wait on the bank statements though.
The usual. American girl meets British guy. They fall into like, then into love. Then there was the big decision. The American traveled across the pond to join the Brit. And life was never the same again.

Offline lyonaria

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Re: So effing screwed
« Reply #21 on: February 04, 2017, 11:57:22 AM »
Yikes, what a nightmare!! I'm glad you have the passport now though, and I know how you feel about the not driving thing and having to depend on the husband. It sucks :-(

I actually thought of you yesterday lyonaria because I was speaking with someone From Derbyshire trying to set up a program in a football club and because I have experience, I may head down there to give a bit of advice. If I do, we should have a coffee and a good old rant!

I'd definitely be up for that!
I work in Derby and I live down a little bit further south near Burton on Trent. Just let me know if you're down this way. :)
The usual. American girl meets British guy. They fall into like, then into love. Then there was the big decision. The American traveled across the pond to join the Brit. And life was never the same again.

Offline lyonaria

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Re: So effing screwed
« Reply #22 on: February 04, 2017, 12:03:46 PM »
Stuff like passports and visa things I tend to be more on top of so I keep all of it in a neat little stack (along with other important things like: wallet with all US bank cards, US drivers licenses, foreign currency, US bank checkbooks and Swedish/UK bank random number generator thingies) in a specific drawer so 1) I know for peace of mind they are always there and 2) if he needs anything he knows where to get it, and that it goes right back into the drawer once used.

I also file all the paper in the house into an accordion file I got so I wouldnt lose things like P45s, tax info, retirement stuff, gas bills, blah blah blah. Im more plugged into the visa thing so I know which paper to keep and where.

HOWEVER - I hate paying bills so other half deals with that. It seemed like a more equitable division of labor. Do you guys have some way that you could maybe divide things up a bit? (of course there are plenty of days when I feel like I m doing 90% of the house stuff but then we adjust).

Otherwise yeah, that sounds like a seriously crappy week.

Well, I keep all my US travel stuff (CC, passport, BRP card) in a specific wallet, in a specific place where my expired passport is kept.

All of my official paperwork, birth certificate, marriage certificate, NINo, NHS number, are all together as well. I've no idea where my husband's stuff is. His mom still has his birth certificate!

We do share responsibilities. All the bills are set as autopayments, other than the mobiles. And I spend the most time caring for the dogs, I walk them as he often can't.

It's just frustrating when I ask for something and he doesn't do it. He did, for the first time ever, help me remember to take the bins out this week. It's always been me noticing when I take the dogs on a walk.
The usual. American girl meets British guy. They fall into like, then into love. Then there was the big decision. The American traveled across the pond to join the Brit. And life was never the same again.

Offline Eh127929

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Re: So effing screwed
« Reply #23 on: February 04, 2017, 12:45:40 PM »
Sorry you're having such a crap week. I hope it picks up next week

My husband is the exact same...except when he decides things need urgency. We're currently trying to move as we're taking my step daughter on full time and he's got no sense of urgency to go view places etc.

I


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Offline writeshawnna

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Re: So effing screwed
« Reply #24 on: February 06, 2017, 10:36:13 AM »
Lyonaria, I've added Caramellos to my list.   :)
I totally forgot the Caramellos, and meant to get you a couple! I hope kfdancer comes through for you!
Met at Disneyland Paris: spring 1995
Dated long distance: off & on 2008-2014
Our twin boys were born: Sep 2009
Engaged: Oct 10, 2014
Married: December 5, 2014
Online Application & paid PRIORITY Submitted: Dec 22, 2014
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Offline x0Kiss0fDeath

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Re: So effing screwed
« Reply #25 on: February 13, 2017, 03:09:23 PM »
Sending hugs! I remember the stress piling up when doing visa paperwork! I feel like deadlines just approach so much quicker than you realise and getting paperwork sent takes soo much longer than it should!

I go through those same emotions in phases really when it comes to job and friends (as, I've probably said it a hundred thousand times, it's SO difficult to make friends of your own! Especially ones that understand expat-related problems!) Some weeks are just tough sh*tty weeks... Hopefully this is one to just write off and things will get better next wee :(

Offline lyonaria

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Re: So effing screwed
« Reply #26 on: February 13, 2017, 10:34:24 PM »
It's got to be a better week next week... Else I'll be packing to leave the country! My visa expires next Monday.  :( I'm trying to get everything ready to go for Tomorrow/Wednesday.

Husband finds out tomorrow if they're changing his cast or if he has to have surgery, so that's fun...  :-\\\\

It's really not been my last 16 days... ish.

I totally forgot the Caramellos, and meant to get you a couple! I hope kfdancer comes through for you!

And it's absolutely no worries! I really don't need the sweets. I eat more candy things since I moved here than I ever did back in the states. It's kind of bad. haha.
The usual. American girl meets British guy. They fall into like, then into love. Then there was the big decision. The American traveled across the pond to join the Brit. And life was never the same again.

Offline x0Kiss0fDeath

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Re: So effing screwed
« Reply #27 on: February 14, 2017, 09:19:24 AM »
When it rains it really does pour  :\\\'( Hope everything comes together nicely for you though in the end! I definitely go through those periods of "it has to get better because surely it can't stay this way all the time!". All you can do is just stay calm and try to manage it as best as you can. Hopefully they are just changing your husband's cast vs the surgery as at least it will be one less thing to worry about in all this!

Sending positive vibes your way!


And it's absolutely no worries! I really don't need the sweets. I eat more candy things since I moved here than I ever did back in the states. It's kind of bad. haha.

Oh god, it's funny how that works isn't it?! When you have the junk food around you on a daily basis, you can almost avoid it because you know you can have it whenever (without a massive mark-up). But when you move away and these items become a novelty (at nearly double the price it should be), you try to get it all in when you can! At least that's how it is for me! I go to the US and try to bring home all my favourite junk I can't get here despite the fact I don't eat junk food all that much really but then it means I start munching on it regularly to finish it before it goes off!

Offline eddyj

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Re: So effing screwed
« Reply #28 on: March 02, 2017, 10:42:52 AM »
its okay in similar situation with jobs and like i said also maybe i am not supposed to be here..i know of two others that just packed up and left  1 week ago back to Miami.. damn wish i could go to miami..instead..i find people like me have a gun to our head sometimes Lyonaria.say as i do or leave..okay leaving..
Met in March, 2014 online through friends on FB
Engaged November 18,  2014
Applied for Marriage Vistor visa May 19, 2015
Visa Arrived in US may 27, 2015
Recieved  my  Marriage Visitor Visa June 15, 2015
Leaving June 23, 2015 maybe
Arrive June 24, 2015
Getting Married August 24,2015
Married august 24, 2015Firs time applied  FAIL
Switched dates Applied September 13, 2016
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Offline x0Kiss0fDeath

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Re: So effing screwed
« Reply #29 on: March 02, 2017, 10:48:00 AM »
instead..i find people like me have a gun to our head sometimes Lyonaria.say as i do or leave..okay leaving..

Why do you feel like leaving isn't an option in your situation? If you aren't happy living here, it's perfectly acceptable to admit that you've given it your all and living here just isn't for you. You are never stuck, so hopefully you don't feel that way (especially as you know others who have decided it's not for them either and they've gone home). Obviously don't know anything about your situation to be able to help, but don't ever feel like your only real option is to continue living here when you aren't happy. It's not for everybody.