Author Topic: How do you talk to your children?  (Read 1250 times)

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Offline ashlynnray28

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How do you talk to your children?
« on: March 01, 2017, 02:38:59 AM »
My husband leaves tomorrow for the U.K.  The spouse visa is on its way to Sheffield and now we wait. So I am here with our son who is a dual citizen. He just turned five and he doesn't really understand what is happening. I'm stressed about wrapping up loose ends here on my own and I just don't know how to tell my son I don't know when we will see Daddy again. Hoping it won't take too long to get a decision as we sent it priority, but I just don't know.
Met: Sept 2008
US Fiancé Visa: June 2010
Married in US: July 2010
Son born: Feb 2012
Online Application: 24 Feb 2017
Biometrics: 27 Feb 3017
Sent application priority: 28 Feb 2017
Visa received: 29 Mar 2017--APPROVED!
Arrived in UK: 13 April 2017

Offline KFdancer

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Re: How do you talk to your children?
« Reply #1 on: March 01, 2017, 08:48:32 AM »
No real advice, as my daughter is only 2.  But I would just explain that you are moving and Daddy is going on ahead to get things sorted.  I'd try to set up a time with your husband every day to Skype/Facetime if possible.  They are processing really fast at the moment, so it could be that you are apart about a week with a bit of luck.   :)

Offline jimbocz

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How do you talk to your children?
« Reply #2 on: March 01, 2017, 10:24:43 AM »
Personally, I would avoid saying "I don't know when we'll see daddy again " as that sounds pretty frightening.  Otherwise, the truth is always best.  I'd think that at that age he is going to pick up on your feelings more than anything, so try to get right in your own head as much as possible. 


Good luck and I hope it goes quickly for you.
« Last Edit: March 01, 2017, 10:27:38 AM by jimbocz »

Offline ashlynnray28

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  • Location: Oundle, Northamptonshire
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Re: How do you talk to your children?
« Reply #3 on: March 02, 2017, 12:07:01 AM »
Well, my husbands flight left a few hours ago. My son handled it much better than I did. I still don't think he understands that daddy won't be back tomorrow as we haven't ever spent more than a few days away from him. I'm expecting some confusion as that settles in. Hopefully the wait isn't too long. Tracking says the application is on its way to Sheffield so hoping for delivery confirmation soon!
Met: Sept 2008
US Fiancé Visa: June 2010
Married in US: July 2010
Son born: Feb 2012
Online Application: 24 Feb 2017
Biometrics: 27 Feb 3017
Sent application priority: 28 Feb 2017
Visa received: 29 Mar 2017--APPROVED!
Arrived in UK: 13 April 2017

Offline lorenausuk

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Re: How do you talk to your children?
« Reply #4 on: March 02, 2017, 11:51:06 AM »
I echo what jimbocz said about kids picking up your feelings.

My son was nearly four when we left the USA to move to England. He is my son with my American ex-husband. He was leaving his Dad for a new life abroad and it would be a year before we would see him again. We simply did our best to stay in touch (this was 1995 before Skype and internet) and always speak of his Dad positively such as, "Daddy will love to hear about your new house and your new room. Let's call him and tell him about it" or "We will see Daddy soon but in the meantime, let's take some pictures of you so he can see how much you've grown", etc... My other two children with my English husband simply got used to being without their father. He worked 290 days a year for five years or we saw him 75 days a year for five years. They didn't know any different.

But, it's all in the way you treat it. With today's technology, you can see each other and talk to each other all the time and the distance doesn't seem so bad. But, I do hope things move quickly for you.



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