American previously refused entry clearance (over a decade ago)

They can ban for using deception to enter the UK before. That always shocks people, especially if they have received a visa since their deception. Just because someone isn't caught at the time, it doesn't mean the slate is wiped clean.

Soooo... mention it? Don't mention it? I'm not sure what course of action you're recommending here

Do you think that email about the organization sending us to Ireland to reset is going to hurt me more? I don't know how to convince them of my honesty after all this time even if I do tick all their boxes because it feels like I ticked them all before but it never worked.  It's just terrifying to consider I might be permanently suspect and my husband and kids doomed to go to the UK without me forever if I can't convince UKVI (once my kids are old enough they'll probably be glad of that though) 

No, I don't think it's going to affect a single thing.  You are NOT the first person to suggest "resetting" the visa with a quick hop to another country, nor will you be the last.  This is not going to follow you around for the rest of your life, unless you let it.  Seriously, is this was the worst thing you've ever done...  you're about as clean as they come!

My husband's cousin is the travel coordinator for an extremely large Christian outreach organisation (not in the UK).  She takes groups of students overseas for three month programs to volunteer and do Christian outreach.  They ALWAYS travel under the tourist visas and as she has students from all over the world, different countries have different visa entry rules and lengths for various countries (for example, UK citizens can stay in India longer than US citizens can).  She frequently takes the students to a third country to "reset" visa clocks...      So, it's still happening.  It will continue to happen.  People will always look for the loophole (kind of like taking a ferry to the UK - cough, cough).   

Soooo... mention it? Don't mention it? I'm not sure what course of action you're recommending here

Mention it. Sirius is giving factual information that technically schmechnically you could be given a ban after the fact.  That is not going to happen in your circumstance.  I promise.  Like really really promise.  Not going to happen.

Do you think that email about the organization sending us to Ireland to reset is going to hurt me more? I don't know how to convince them of my honesty after all this time even if I do tick all their boxes because it feels like I ticked them all before but it never worked.  It's just terrifying to consider I might be permanently suspect and my husband and kids doomed to go to the UK without me forever if I can't convince UKVI (once my kids are old enough they'll probably be glad of that though) 

I really don't know - you don't even know if they still have that email anymore, or if it will be dug up if they do. All you can do is apply for a visitor visa, explain everything, and hope for the best.

If it's approved, great... if it's not, because of the past, then there's not much you can do about that - but at least you will have tried your best.

But it sounds like you DIDN'T actually tick the boxes before though... for the first visas at least, it seems the church you were trying to go to didn't meet the requirements for you to get a visa to volunteer there. If that was the case, then there was nothing you could have said or done to get the visa approved - it was always going to be refused, and that was nothing to do with you.

If anyone is to blame here, I'd say it's the organisation that gave you just terrible advice in the first place - if they had done their job properly, your first application would likely have been approved, you would have been able to volunteer in Wales, you would have a good immigration record and you would not have had to go through all this stress and PTSD.

Mention it.

Yes,  fill the application in honestly. It was years ago.

I really don't know - you don't even know if they still have that email anymore, or if it will be dug up if they do. All you can do is apply for a visitor visa, explain everything, and hope for the best.

If it's approved, great... if it's not, because of the past, then there's not much you can do about that - but at least you will have tried your best.

But it sounds like you DIDN'T actually tick the boxes before though... for the first visas at least, it seems the church you were trying to go to didn't meet the requirements for you to get a visa to volunteer there. If that was the case, then there was nothing you could have said or done to get the visa approved - it was always going to be refused, and that was nothing to do with you.

If anyone is to blame here, I'd say it's the organisation that gave you just terrible advice in the first place - if they had done their job properly, your first application would likely have been approved, you would have been able to volunteer in Wales, you would have a good immigration record and you would not have had to go through all this stress and PTSD.

Right. Hopefully 10 years on with 8 different countries in my passport it will help show I'm not some vagabond intent on leeching off UK benefits and stealing British jobs since I have a family and a job amongst heaps of other responsibilities to return to. I literally went through Heathrow last week coming and going to Croatia and back for my 30th which was what encouraged me to look into it again. On the off chance I make it there I'll buy y'all drinks (assuming you're within reasonable distance )

So, just to give another circumstance.

There's a chick on Facebook who has been desperately applying for a UK visa for about six months.

First she came to the UK and stayed for a six month visit with her boyfriend.

She then returned to the US and applied for the unmarried partner visa even though she and her boyfriend haven't lived together.  So that was refused.  (What this means is that she submitted an application saying she wants to move permanently to the UK and settle.)

She then tried to enter the UK to visit him and was held, questioned, and sent home - just like you.

She then applied for a visitors visa and that was refused.

I told her what she needed to submit to have a successful visa application.  I also told her that I'd FREAKING WAIT a while before applying and either meet her boyfriend in a third country for a visit or have him visit her (wild idea, I know).  She was hell bent on visiting him.  She reapplied with all the paperwork I told her to include and got her visa today.  Heck, even I'm surprised she managed to get an approval.

But it shows it's a tick box visa.  She ticked the boxes (finally).  She got her visa.  She's probably driving to the airport as I type.   

I still think she should let her boyfriend chase HER a little bit though.   

On the off chance I make it there I'll buy y'all drinks (assuming you're within reasonable distance )

I'm knocked up.  A jar of queso will suffice.   

I'm knocked up.  A jar of queso will suffice.   

LOL same. But I live in Texas (the queso capital of the US) I'll be sure to bring some

LOL same. But I live in Texas (the queso capital of the US) I'll be sure to bring some

Droool.....  so you can have queso whenever you want.... with proper tortilla chips....  <sigh>  I hate you now.

I'm knocked up.  A jar of queso will suffice.   

Cheap date!

Cheap date!

On our babymoon date last week, I REALLY wanted to order a glass of wine.  Like totally would have done it if I didn't think it would have given me a serious case of heartburn.  My husband was not impressed...

I had two Cokes.  Caffeine.  WILD!

OMG! I forgot to bring the queso.....my life is meaningless! But.... I did bring tequila 

OMG! I forgot to bring the queso.....my life is meaningless! But.... I did bring tequila 

Ooooo, you are in trouble now!   

Echoing what everyone else is telling you.

Cut and dried, apply for a visitor visa.

Disclose all of your previous entry refusals and why.

Be prepared (over-prepared) with documents proving that you will only stay in the UK for a short time, and you have compelling reasons why you MUST leave UK at the end of your proposed visit. Book a roundtrip ticket, not a one-way.

Don't try to go through Ireland. The UK immigration in Ireland is, from my experience, wildly erratic and you have no idea how they will respond.

Apply for a visitor visa. At the very least, you'll be out a lot less money if your visa application is refused. And if it is accepted, you can book your trip without worrying whether you'll be let in.