Author Topic: Pooping in the UK (sorry!)  (Read 2263 times)

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Offline sonofasailor

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Re: Pooping in the UK (sorry!)
« Reply #15 on: April 17, 2017, 02:13:15 PM »
Have you ever used one of those electronic toilets and shot a high pressured stream of water straight up your a**hole? 

This would be a great icebreaker at a cocktail party.
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Offline lyonaria

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Re: Pooping in the UK (sorry!)
« Reply #16 on: April 17, 2017, 02:39:09 PM »
I usually hold the brush inside the toilet while it flushes to help rinse it off. Flushing twice.
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Offline TravelingFrog

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Re: Pooping in the UK (sorry!)
« Reply #17 on: April 17, 2017, 06:18:10 PM »
If I think this is going to be the case, I lay a few pieces of toilet paper in the... erm... landing zone. It's not 100% effective, but I usually helps and can't hurt.
This is a good idea. I'm not sure how to identify the landing zone... usually it's the back, unless I remember to scoot forward a bit to try to aim better, in which case it generally ends up being the front.

But, your response implies that you can tell when it will and won't be a problem. How do you know? Something about the shape of the bowl, or the water level? Yes, this is a serious question.

When I'm in a public place or anywhere I might know someone and I have to poo, I cover the landing area with a few pieces of toilet paper. ;) For me, that's usually the nearside of the bowl above the water line.

If I'm at home, I don't usually bother. ::)

I usually hold the brush inside the toilet while it flushes to help rinse it off. Flushing twice.

This is my tactic and usually works fine. I give the brush a little shake inside the toilet bowl before putting it back.
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Offline MPI

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Re: Pooping in the UK (sorry!)
« Reply #18 on: April 17, 2017, 06:27:18 PM »
This thread gave me a good giggle.  A couple weeks ago we visited family in France and unfortunately I was taken ill and the F***ING TOILET WOULD NOT FLUSH A SECOND TIME.  So embarrassing.  I had to hang out in the bathroom for like HALF AN HOUR until it would go again.  It's definitely an adjustment.

The other part of that story is that the next time I threw up I sought out a different bathroom but all it had in it was a bidet.  My husband was crying laughing.
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Offline KFdancer

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Re: Pooping in the UK (sorry!)
« Reply #19 on: April 17, 2017, 08:01:00 PM »
This thread gave me a good giggle.  A couple weeks ago we visited family in France and unfortunately I was taken ill and the F***ING TOILET WOULD NOT FLUSH A SECOND TIME.  So embarrassing.  I had to hang out in the bathroom for like HALF AN HOUR until it would go again.  It's definitely an adjustment.

The other part of that story is that the next time I threw up I sought out a different bathroom but all it had in it was a bidet.  My husband was crying laughing.

Ugh, what a weekend!  You poor thing!

My now husband and I went to Paris for the weekend about a month after we started dating.  I had a bad tummy and found a McDonalds. Did what I had to do... and of course NO PAPER.  Bad things had just happened...  I had no tissues or wet wipes in my bag (which is crazy cuz I always have wet wipes).  So I had to remove my panties and use those.  Seriously people, I am classy!  I was annoyed because they were part of a matching set and not cheap, but they were disposed of and I had to walk around Paris commando for the rest of the day...

Offline TravelingFrog

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Re: Pooping in the UK (sorry!)
« Reply #20 on: April 17, 2017, 08:14:14 PM »
Oh man, KFdancer. That's rough!
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Offline Karlee

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Re: Pooping in the UK (sorry!)
« Reply #21 on: April 17, 2017, 09:07:27 PM »
What a horrible situation KFdancer!


When I was 11, my mom, mom's friend, her 13 yo daughter and daughter's friend all went to Sarasota, FL for a spring break girls' trip. On our first full day there, we went to the beach. There was an ice cream stand there, so we all got an ice cream. I had a strawberry ice cream cone, which tasted fine as I was eating it, but within 15 minutes I started feeling a little sick. Well, about an hour later we had a light lunch at a restaurant, and that's when I started feeling really sick. I was in the restroom a lot of the time with a bad tummy, and could hardly eat anything. Afterwards, we went to Walgreens to get me some medicine.... and I projectile vomited all over the parking lot. As I did, some teenage boys drove past and started laughing at me, which made the situation worse!! That was it- sicker than a dog and in bed the entire week-long trip. Worst food poisoning I've ever had.

Better in the parking lot than in the car though!
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Offline MPI

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Re: Pooping in the UK (sorry!)
« Reply #22 on: April 17, 2017, 09:19:57 PM »
Ugh, what a weekend!  You poor thing!

My now husband and I went to Paris for the weekend about a month after we started dating.  I had a bad tummy and found a McDonalds. Did what I had to do... and of course NO PAPER.  Bad things had just happened...  I had no tissues or wet wipes in my bag (which is crazy cuz I always have wet wipes).  So I had to remove my panties and use those.  Seriously people, I am classy!  I was annoyed because they were part of a matching set and not cheap, but they were disposed of and I had to walk around Paris commando for the rest of the day...

Ohh nooooo!!!  That's such a shame!  I'm not sure I would have thought to use panties.  I had a friend with a similar story and she had to use a sock.
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Offline sonofasailor

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Re: Pooping in the UK (sorry!)
« Reply #23 on: April 18, 2017, 07:39:36 AM »
Afterwards, we went to Walgreens and I projectile vomited all over the parking lot.

Or as the locals in Sarasota call it, Saturday night.
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Offline jimbocz

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Re: Pooping in the UK (sorry!)
« Reply #24 on: April 18, 2017, 10:03:24 AM »
Seriously people, I am classy!

I just laughed so hard that everyone in the office is staring at me.

Offline jimbocz

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Re: Pooping in the UK (sorry!)
« Reply #25 on: April 18, 2017, 10:14:12 AM »
From a technical point of view, I don't believe water pressure has anything to do with it as the water comes from a tank.  The pressure from your house only makes a difference in how fast the tank fills up while you stand there twiddling your thumbs.   

In our house, we have one older toilet that never presents any problems and flushes like a champ.  The upstairs toilet is a tiny space saving one that collects skid marks like a race track. 

A few months back, we had a problem with one or both kids leaving massive skid marks and not admitting to doing it.  If I could have used a DNA test to discover which one was doing it I would have! 

Finally I would just flip a coin and make one of them clean it.  Then I would judge by how angry they were about it if they were the culprit or the victim. 

Offline Albatross

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Re: Pooping in the UK (sorry!)
« Reply #26 on: April 18, 2017, 12:04:58 PM »
From a technical point of view, I don't believe water pressure has anything to do with it as the water comes from a tank.  The pressure from your house only makes a difference in how fast the tank fills up while you stand there twiddling your thumbs.   


LOL... not sure, then, what the correct term would be for a toilet that flushes with an enormous volume of water, entering the pan at high speed/velocity/force... but that's what I've got!  Oh, and the cistern fills up quickly too.

Offline KFdancer

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Re: Pooping in the UK (sorry!)
« Reply #27 on: April 18, 2017, 12:28:32 PM »
LOL... not sure, then, what the correct term would be for a toilet that flushes with an enormous volume of water, entering the pan at high speed/velocity/force... but that's what I've got!  Oh, and the cistern fills up quickly too.

My parents have high pressure flush toilets.  They are definitely different as there is no water visible in the tank.  My husband thinks that's how all American toilets are and he loves them.  They are LOUD and sound a bit like a jet engine when you flush.  Definitely wake the house if you go in the night!

Offline phatbeetle

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Re: Pooping in the UK (sorry!)
« Reply #28 on: April 18, 2017, 01:30:39 PM »
We've got low flow toilets in our house.

Christmas day our ensuite bathroom one was completely blocked up just before bedtime and well, having consumed lots of alcohol and lots of food, we knew we'd most likely need it in the middle of the night.
Hubby went to get the plunger and said of course the most perfect line for Christmas. "Shitter is full".

Fits of giggles and too much wine led to me taking a photo of hubby with the plunger and texting my sisters with it saying "Shitter was full". Said sisters also had too much wine and were sending all kinds of funny texts back about said shitter. 



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Offline jimbocz

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Pooping in the UK (sorry!)
« Reply #29 on: April 18, 2017, 02:41:50 PM »
I fear this thread has not brought out the best in us. 
I'm especially sad that I posted a video of me on the beach without a single comment , but everyone has time to talk about poo!
« Last Edit: April 18, 2017, 02:45:37 PM by jimbocz »