Pooping in the UK (sorry!)

When I was a child one of my dad's bands toured in Japan and most people brought families.  All of us kids used to sit in the back of the bus and talk, and I remember the #1 topic of conversation was who's father had accidentally discovered the water jet buttons on the Japanese toilets in the hotels.  So funny.

the toilet seats are all electronically heated

I have used these toilets and always find the heated seated oddly alarming...  it's the whole normally if you have a warm seat, it means someone has spent a decent amount of time there before you, mentality.

I have used these toilets and always find the heated seated oddly alarming...  it's the whole normally if you have a warm seat, it means someone has spent a decent amount of time there before you, mentality.

Lol - yeah, there is that too .

It was a bit of a shock getting up in the night to go to the loo and finding a hot seat beneath you! Then again, when you ended up on a toilet that wasn't heated, it felt weird .

The frustrating thing about electronic toilets in public places is that the queues take forever... because apparently everyone is having a wash as well .


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Typically with my heated car seats, the warmth makes it feel like you've peed yourself sometimes hahaha at least on rainy days where your jeans are a bit damp and then they start getting warm. At least if heated toilet seats make you feel like you're peeing yourself, you're bound to feel less awkward about the feeling as you're in the right place!


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Lol - yeah, there is that too .

It was a bit of a shock getting up in the night to go to the loo and finding a hot seat beneath you! Then again, when you ended up on a toilet that wasn't heated, it felt weird .

The frustrating thing about electronic toilets in public places is that the queues take forever... because apparently everyone is having a wash as well .


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Hee hee hee.  How did you like Japan?  We nearly went a couple of years ago.  Not sure when we'll get there but I know we will at some point.

Am I the only person who straight up cannot get like 1 in 3 toilets to flush ANYTHING in the UK, even a tissue? I've started to cry with frustration before. Since they're empty when I use them, I must be the only one? What is the correct way to approach the lever to make it actually go?! I lived there for several years.... I had to learn each individual toilet's personality. Obviously the buttons are preferable.

Also this is a genuine question stemming from a lot of desperation.

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Am I the only person who straight up cannot get like 1 in 3 toilets to flush ANYTHING in the UK, even a tissue?

Give it a blank flush first, like Jimmy Stewart did with the plane engine at the end of The Flight of the Phoenix. Blow out anything in the pipes.

In our flat you have to hold the handle down.  This doesn't always work with other ones, though. 

Sometimes there is a really forceful swing of the arm and sometimes it's a forceful swing of the arm and hold the handle down. 

The low flow toilets at work are constantly blocked or have 'floaters' because they only flush miniscule amounts and take forever to refill so you can flush again. 'Ain't nobody got time for that' 

Am I the only person who straight up cannot get like 1 in 3 toilets to flush ANYTHING in the UK, even a tissue? I've started to cry with frustration before. Since they're empty when I use them, I must be the only one? What is the correct way to approach the lever to make it actually go?! I lived there for several years.... I had to learn each individual toilet's personality. Obviously the buttons are preferable.

Also this is a genuine question stemming from a lot of desperation.

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Sometimes you almost have to pump the lever.  Pull it 3 or 4 times in quick succession.

The low flow toilets are horrible. At least the old ones are. I have definitely had issues at work regarding that and it's kind of embarrassing. I hate using the bathroom at work as it is...

I saw an ad the other day that said if your poo doesn't flush, you should go to the doctor and get it checked out. 

Okay. I know a lot of useless facts so please don't judge...

When your poo floats at the surface it means you have a high fat diet generally.

Which is equally as bad as poo that sinks like a stone.

I looked it up once a few years ago. And it's difficult to tell here in the UK with the low water toikets.
 

Sometimes you almost have to pump the lever.  Pull it 3 or 4 times in quick succession.

Ugh I already do that. Flushing gives me the same level of panic as driving a manual toward a busy roundabout. Two of many reasons I would never assimilate!

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Okay. I know a lot of useless facts so please don't judge...

When your poo floats at the surface it means you have a high fat diet generally.

Which is equally as bad as poo that sinks like a stone.

I looked it up once a few years ago. And it's difficult to tell here in the UK with the low water toikets.

Wait so is it supposed to float in mid water column or just sink gracefully?

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