Author Topic: How to get through being apart from your new husband/wife  (Read 223 times)

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Offline OPA17

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How to get through being apart from your new husband/wife
« on: April 20, 2017, 02:48:11 PM »
Hi everyone!

My husband and I are currently waiting on a decision for his spouse visa. I'm the Brit(strange on here I know), my husband is from VA. we got married in January and I had to leave two days after we got married!

The waiting is killing me and being apart is so difficult! I have final law exams approaching and can't focus on a thing!

How did everyone else get through it?

Any anecdotes, tips or ANYTHING AT ALL to take my mind off it is greatly appreciated.
Impatient Brit waiting on a spouse visa for her American husband..
Non Priority application received by Sheffield on February 27 2017
Decision Email : May 16th

Offline jimbocz

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Re: How to get through being apart from your new husband/wife
« Reply #1 on: April 20, 2017, 03:04:38 PM »
I could tell you the story of when my wife and I met back in 1990 and then she had to move to France with no concrete plan to ever see each other again.  We wrote a bunch of letters back and forth until we saw each other more than a year later.  That was only for a week, then it was a few more months before we could properly be together.  20 something years later and things are still going well.

Welcome to the forum and good luck!

Offline KFdancer

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Re: How to get through being apart from your new husband/wife
« Reply #2 on: April 20, 2017, 03:44:20 PM »
No real advice as we had a traditional courtship (met after I was already living in the UK).

Things I've heard on here is to do things together.  Like put the same movie or TV show on and watch it together.  Send pictures of your meals and stuff.  Little things that just make you feel closer.  Have set times of day where you check in with each other.  There is a light at the end of the tunnel, even if it's a bit hard to see!

Offline candyann

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Re: How to get through being apart from your new husband/wife
« Reply #3 on: April 20, 2017, 04:15:27 PM »
Jimbocz reminds me of how many more options we have now than in the 1990s. Back then it was letters and a year apart at a time. Now, technology makes it so much easier to check in with each other at least virtually.

I don't know if this will help you, but I'd take the opportunity to write out "love letter" type things that work in writing but that you may find it awkward to say in person. When you are back together and living a day to day relationship, it will look so different in the same house. So see if there are any romantic, heart-sharing advantages to being long distance and forced to do things remotely.
7/2000 - Emigrated USA to Canada
4/2008 - Met British partner
9/2009 - Moved to UK on Proposed CP/Fiance visa
12/2009 - Civil partnership
3/2010 - FLR(M)
2012 (? it's all a blur, but "old rules") - ILR
9/2013 - Naturalised/Right of Abode
2/2017 - Cannot leave UK until Canadian passport returned by the Home Office!

Offline AV

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Re: How to get through being apart from your new husband/wife
« Reply #4 on: April 20, 2017, 11:15:28 PM »
Facetime, Skype, Facebook messenger, email, letters, care packages, Rabbit (watching netflix, etc. together in a web browser app)...

And taking some time out to enjoy/take care of stuff we won't be able to do once we're together. I'll be going from a spacious American home to a small British one, and I'll have to share space. So I'm trying to enjoy that the best I can now (even if it feels empty).

I'm also doing the back-breaking work of sorting, packing, giving away, and making all the thousands of arrangements of moving overseas.

And, to be honest, sometimes just submerging myself in a book or netflix or whatever, just because I don't want to think or feel anything about the separation.
Online application submitted April 5, 2017
Biometrics & shipping to UK April 17, 2017
Email confirmation from Sheffield April 24, 2017
Submitted ToR May 12, 2017
Decision email: June 2, 2017

Offline OPA17

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Re: How to get through being apart from your new husband/wife
« Reply #5 on: April 21, 2017, 12:51:17 AM »
Thanks to you all! Great ideas that I'll definitely dive right into. I always knew we weren't unique in our situation but it is nice to hear from others who are and have been through the same thing!
Impatient Brit waiting on a spouse visa for her American husband..
Non Priority application received by Sheffield on February 27 2017
Decision Email : May 16th