I escaped the UK...here's my experience so far

I guess I'm just not big on vanity.

>shrug<

In the same way that they have every right to dress themselves and trowel the makeup on themselves as much as they want,  I also have every right to think they look ridiculous.

Ive noticed plenty of workwear that is far too short/tight/revealing that in the US would have earned the wearer either an HR write up or a return trip home to change (or both) and yet here no one blinks an eye. Im sorry ,but a midriff baring shirt is not appropriate for a professional office nor is wearing a short tight dress even if it is of a professional cut. And its not just my office, its women walking down the road too!

You're right, I should have used the word 'disbelief' and have changed my post accordingly.  I say disbelief because I can barely pull myself together in order to be at work by 8:30 (and I have a 10 minute commute) and here they are rolling in at 9am completely made up and in full glam.  I couldn't put that much effort in every day.  And I am not criticizing them.  I am just saying that how they choose to present themselves is not to my taste.  They probably think I look far too plain and that's also fine.

That being said, there is such thing as too much spray tan.  It's right around the point when you leave orange streaks on the books you're returning.   

Ive noticed plenty of workwear that is far too short/tight/revealing that in the US would have earned the wearer either an HR write up or a return trip home to change (or both) and yet here no one blinks an eye. Im sorry ,but a midriff baring shirt is not appropriate for a professional office nor is wearing a short tight dress even if it is of a professional cut. And its not just my office, its women walking down the road too!

I have to admit, when we change interns up in June/July, we get at least one or two HR emails in regards to dress code. It's hilarious. Obviously most of them have no experience in an office setting and this is their first time. That paired with the heat means they come in wearing short shorts and skirts (we don't have a dress code per say, but we don't really allow shorts). And casual Fridays?! Oh man!! hahaha It's hilarious because we pretty much all know when to expect the all employee email to come out addressing outfits. Only a few of them carry over for the rest of the year wearing short and tight stuff. It's shocking to see how short some stuff people are wearing into the office is (especially when they aren't interns!). It looks more like club attire. It doesn't bother me personally or anything, it just surprises me that their managers don't tell them off!

I say disbelief because I can barely pull myself together in order to be at work by 8:30 (and I have a 10 minute commute) and here they are rolling in at 9am completely made up and in full glam. 

Oh man..I am right there with you on that. I don't know how anybody gets up and spends extra time on their looks in the morning because I am such an anti-morning person that I do the absolute minimum! lol

Ok so just an update on this update! I've actually been back to the UK twice since I've moved and here now. Things are so bad I felt I needed to post here. Once again, coming here feels like a punch in the gut.

1) I tend to binge drink when I'm here and while it's my own bad decision making, the culture of rounds doesn't help. I got so sick it was traumatizing

2) having had that experience, when I went out with my husbands friends two night later, I wanted to take it easy and was called a "b*tch" several times by one of husbands friends for not binge drinking. (I still had 4 drinks...)

3) I've cooked several times for husbands family, which their complimented me on. But my husband likes to cook too and has been doing more so this time around. They called me his assistant :/

4) Someone who voted Brexit  felt the need to moan to me how Americans are not outward thinking towards the rest of the world.

5) Also said how they heard Indians were "ghetto-ized" in the US. Um.... didn't England commit loads of astrocities against India

6) And the usual, our comedy is unintelligent, coming from someone whose favorites shows are horrible reality shows.

The hypocrisy never ceases to amaze me. I know how people can be here and while I don't like it and trying to ignore it,  I feel beaten down. At least I get to leave soon but just had to vent. I'm trying so hard not to be so negative for my husbands sake but man....

Ok so just an update on this update! I've actually been back to the UK twice since I've moved and here now. Things are so bad I felt I needed to post here. Once again, coming here feels like a punch in the gut.

Lalala, if I were you, I just wouldn't go back.  There's nothing at all wrong with taking separate vacations form your husband.   

Lalala, if I were you, I just wouldn't go back.  There's nothing at all wrong with taking separate vacations form your husband.   

I agree with this ... If my husband's friends and family were like that I would have no interest in wasting my limited vacation time to see them! Thankfully we share some mutual friends/acquaintances, and his family are 1000x better than mine. I don't drink anymore for health reasons and they've never made me feel uncomfortable for it, even if they're on their second bottle of wine at dinner.  Sorry your trip was so abysmal Lalala, I hope you continue to enjoy life back in the states!

Thanks guys. We had flown back not really to visit but for a sick family member so he needed me and I should have been there. Relations between me and family have gotten better but still, it can be defeating sometimes. I was trying so hard to not be negative and think positive but with all this, it's difficult!

I think you recognise that being negative about the UK is really a bad approach for your husband and you are smart to avoid it. 

I would just accept that trips back to his home are going to be slightly annoying and just put up with them when required.  Smile and wave. 

You can look forward to the fact that as you get older, trips back may lessen in frequency, especially if you have kids.  Then you simply won't be able to afford it!   Also, with maturity and possible kids, the binge drinking will certainly decline as well.  Nothing is worse than a brutal hangover when kids are involved. That's my prediction at least.

Nothing is worse than a brutal hangover when kids are involved.

I think it was an early Saturday morning matinee of Disney on Ice that made me never really get drunk again. Some arena packed to the rafters with hopped up kids.

To be fair the performers looked pretty crestfallen about it too.