Anyone watching 13 Reasons Why

My 13 year old daughter asked if she could watch this the other day.  I don't said yes because I was surprised she asked and didn't want to shut down discussion.  I also Googled the controversial aspects and tried to talk to her about it. 

Is anyone actually watching it?  Did I make a good call?

I watched it.
The rape scenes weren't terribly graphic, but the suicide scene was VERY... and I am still having nightmares about it (quite literally).   

My 13 year old daughter asked if she could watch this the other day.  I don't said yes because I was surprised she asked and didn't want to shut down discussion.  I also Googled the controversial aspects and tried to talk to her about it. 

Is anyone actually watching it?  Did I make a good call?

I read the book probably around the age of 13 and it's definitely a lot more shocking watching the suicide and rape scene than it was just reading about it... It all depends on how you want to approach this I guess - perhaps you could watch with her and try to keep an open dialogue about it?

I can't imagine she would want me to watch a rape scene with her.  I think I could talk about it without actually watching it.
I'm also not interested in watching a suicide either.

It's helpful to know you read the book and didn't find it too depressing. 

Which reminds me, I bought her the Philip Pullman(?) trilogy just because I thought she'd like it and she refuses to read it just to tick me off.  I might just sell it again in EBay.

In fairness, I just looked at when the book was published and it was wen I was 16/17 and not 13 (time seriously flies, it's crazy! It feels like ages ago!).  It's hard because on one hand, 13 might be too young to process that material, but on the other I think the topics are things teens are having to deal with at younger and younger ages.

I don't blame you for not wanting to watch that or her wanting to watch it with you - I know I probably wouldn't have when I was 13. I would just maybe make it clear that you are always willing to have an open dialogue about it if she wants.

Man...Terrified of having kids some day because these seem like difficult parenting choices to make!

It's helpful to know you read the book and didn't find it too depressing. 

Which reminds me, I bought her the Philip Pullman(?) trilogy just because I thought she'd like it and she refuses to read it just to tick me off.  I might just sell it again in EBay.

Well to be completely honest, I definitely found it to be an emotional book... but I was dealing with my own mental health problems at the time so it was relocatable on some levels i think. At that time, I was seeing a therapist so I didn't have to worry about not having anybody to be able to reach out to when talking about this type of stuff so that maybe was one less thing my mom would have to worry about with me reading/watching things with this subject matter.


And I was an angsty, punk-rock, skate-park teen so sometimes it was "the more depressing, the better" lol. But I do remember thinking the book was fab at the time and I liked that there was a book that dealt with real issues teens do face.

You are right that there are tons of decisions but I wouldn't go back.  But jeez, we've got to have a policy on the amount of screen time, and one on meeting strangers from the net, and soon we'll need one on porn. 

The funny thing is that I constantly talk about the kids meeting strangers from the net, saying "you will think he's a teenager who likes Minecraft but he'll actually be a 30 year old fat man who wants to bugger you ".  This worked until lately I've started meeting some people in real life and the kids go nuts.

I'd also like my daughter to be a bit punk rock but she's too ornery. 

haha my husband and I always joke about how - if we have kids some day - we are going to have a hard time explaining the dangers of meeting people online in some ways because we met online and there's less and less of a stigma about doing so. We will obviously need to approach the subject of "it's not wrong, but here is what you need to look out for" when that time comes...That or just let them binge-watch the show Catfish hah

That's why it's impossible to make rules these days. 

My kids have tons of homework on Google classroom and need a computer for many assignments, which makes it hard to say "no screens". 

That's why it's impossible to make rules these days. 

My kids have tons of homework on Google classroom and need a computer for many assignments, which makes it hard to say "no screens".

Oh man...and if they're crafty enough, they'll know how to make it look like they're doing homework when they're really chatting with friends...

I was an angsty, punk-rock, skate-park teen so sometimes it was "the more depressing, the better" lol.

I am 53, and will not bother watching a film or reading a book unless it has lots of sex, filthy language, and general angst dripping off each page.

I am 53, and will not bother watching a film or reading a book unless it has lots of sex, filthy language, and general angst dripping off each page.

I think we can all agree that the more filthy language, the better! 

Albatross comes out of left field to make me spew my coffee all over my desk! 

You should meet up with HMS Seahorse.  After a few beers she's full of all those.

Oh man...and if they're crafty enough, they'll know how to make it look like they're doing homework when they're really chatting with friends...

There are apps that you can use to control what sites they use and when, if it's an issue. But I always felt they were a bit intrusive.