Frustrated about house work

Oh my god, we had similar experiences when we were house hunting! There were a few times that it was a landlord selling so the tenants didn't even know we were coming! Sometimes they knew but didn't give a single care. One was a lady that didn't speak much English and her baby was napping so  we had to quietly look into that room... Another house literally had the whole family home - kids and everything - and they were just casually all just say around and the lady was like "Oh, let me know if you have any questions!" while the kids were like staring at us as we were looking around and stuff. It's SO awkward and off-putting because you know you're being watched so you almost stop paying attention to what you're being told by the estate agent because you're now focused on the people who are focused on you. You also don't want to comment on things you don't like (and sometimes even on things you do like - you just don't want to comment at all really!) because you know the home-owner or tenant is right there listening and you don't want to offend them by giving your honest opinion. Even when they are there but in another room/out of the way, you still don't want to say how you really feel in case you're overheard. It's literally awful lol. I much prefer people that just get out of the house and stay out until you've gone. And yeah....it's weird when they've left the house in a state that you can't imagine wanting strangers to see...I get having a bit of mess and clutter, but we've seen some places that you know people didn't even really bother..

I don't mind them being there--the agent selling our current flat actually doesn't have a key and so he arranges all showings for when I'm home to let them in.  But I clean up and, you know, wear trousers.

Trousers are definitely important for when strangers come by


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I'm with KFDancer that getting in a cleaner every week is totally worth the £20.  It's so nice to do what you want on the weekends rather than cleaning. 

I'm with KFDancer that getting in a cleaner every week is totally worth the £20.  It's so nice to do what you want on the weekends rather than cleaning.

£20 Is that really what it cost? I'm assuming that's per week, but That's really affordable


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Trousers are definitely important for when strangers come by


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Lol when I first moved and unemployed I was cleaning house in my underwear  and ratty t-shirt..no bra and someone knocked at the door. I just assumed it was hubby because he left his keys at home and said he was coming by. I swing open the door to find sales people.  Needless to say I check the peephole now lol.


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£20 Is that really what it cost? I'm assuming that's per week, but That's really affordable


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Mine is £12 an hour.  As a friend of mine tells her husband, it's much cheaper than a divorce.   

Lol when I first moved and unemployed I was cleaning house in my underwear  and ratty t-shirt..no bra and someone knocked at the door. I just assumed it was hubby because he left his keys at home and said he was coming by. I swing open the door to find sales people.  Needless to say I check the peephole now lol.


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Hahaha I've answered the door to delivery people in my dressing gown before


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Wow this hit close to home! It's something I have talked to someone about recently too. I work at home and while I'm working...I'm working. It took a while for my husband to realize that and to stop asking me to do this or that while I was home.. Anyways I hate clutter and mess yet it seems to be everywhere making it very frustrating for me while my husband will do nothing.

Yesterday we had a deep cleaning day. I told him to pick two rooms and I'd do the other two. He had to vacuum (as he does like twice a year) and the vacuum was horrible. It has been for a while but I just get on with it. He was so frustrated he went out to get a new one. It's been okay for me to use despite me saying how crap it has been yet he goes to use it and decides now he wants a new one -_-

BriKH exactly the same thing happened in this flat when I was a student in it and our landlord lived in.  I used to do most of the vacuuming because I was here full time and he was only here like 3 days per week.  Once he was vacuuming after his kids had come to visit and realized how shitty the vacuum was.  There was a new one the next week when he came back from his other house, lol.

Might have had a bit of an argument about this with the husband last night.  Neither of us are the tidiest people in the world.  We don't mind clutter but don't let things get properly gross.  However, I always feel like the cleaning falls to me.  He always says to leave things and he will get around to it, but that never seems to happen.  My work schedule is such that every other week I work the Saturday so have Wednesday off.  I usually end up cleaning the house on that day.  Seeing as I tend to spend one of my days off cleaning, I have asked my husband if he can do the same on the Saturdays I am at work.  Nothing major, usually just vacuuming the main rooms, doing the dishes, put on a load of laundry, etc.  He never does it, preferring to play games with his friends instead.  I have completely given up asking him to do deep cleans or to clean off the mold from the windows.  Little does he know, though, that he's going to have to clean the ceiling in the bathroom (I'm not tall enough  ).  It's an argument that we have quite often.  The only thing that he does consistently is clean the toilet which I have demanded he do because I don't miss when I pee.

I always know, when I come home and find the bed made and the washing up done, that he's gone to the pub.  He does the dishes and the bed to appease me, because he *thinks* I'm annoyed when he goes out.  He doesn't realise that I secretly like having evenings to myself!   

I always know, when I come home and find the bed made and the washing up done, that he's gone to the pub.  He does the dishes and the bed to appease me, because he *thinks* I'm annoyed when he goes out.  He doesn't realise that I secretly like having evenings to myself!   

Haha! That's the one thing I never have to ask my husband to do. I normally do the dishes but he knows it's the chore I absolutely hate most in the world because it's the chore that never ends, but he will do them when he thinks I am annoyed with him for whatever reason. :-D (I usually have to do them over again though because I think he does them wrong and they're still greasy when I go to put them away! - go figure!)

I absolutely HATE doing dishes - mainly because I don't like touching the gross food residue, especially once it's got water all on it from soaking. The dishwasher was the best thing we've ever spent money on!

The dishes are my least favorite too.  Sometimes it feels like all I do some days is dishes.  When we buy a house someday, room for a dishwasher is mandatory.

I've had relationships in my past life where I was the cleaner  - and well I'm really not a cleaner at all - so therefore,  I lived in a pretty gross house.   

But, now my husband is the cleaner. My in-laws have an immaculate house and garden. But hey, when you're retired with few friends or hobbies or children or grandchildren then yeah, you can keep an immaculate house. But apparently it's always been this way, so hubby learned early on to be very tidy.
 He HATES clutter, so he doesn't care what state drawers or cupboards are in, as long as doesn't have to see it.  So I often am going to look for something and can't find it and he can't remember what drawer or cupboard he chucked it in.  I also hate going into a drawer or cupboard and not being able to see what I need or having to dig through piles of things, so this drives me a bit crazy.  I therefore go on organising frenzies when it all drives me mad. Yet, I am happy for clutter. I am strange.

I know one of hubby's stressors is a messy house and also when he gets stressed from work or life or whatever, he really goes on and on and on about the housework (something he can control?) which then of course, causes him to stress out even more.  Like last night, after a crazy crazy crazy busy weekend, he started at 11:30 at night just starting to rant and rave about the dust in the house and the hoovering not being done.
 We just had such a busy weekend he couldn't do it and so I know that's something he is going to do tonight.
 We had a fallout early in our relationship about cleaning and my lack of it,  so we had a long discussion about it.  We also have different levels of acceptance and what defines clean.  So we had to figure out what levels we can tolerate.  We've met, not exactly in the middle, but not all on his side.  We also agreed to split things that we liked doing and we try and split the things we don't. He's good about his side of the bargain, but I'm not. At least I know when he's nagging me, it's now because I've not held up my side of the bargain.  So I try hard to not let it get to the point where it needs nagging.

Generally, we split work as follows:
Washing up, cleaning kitchen, cleaning chicken coop, lawn mowing and other garden work, and organising anything goes to me.

Hoovering, bathrooms, dusting, and windows goes to him. 

We split taking out trash and recycling, cleaning guinea pig cage, and laundry.  Anything random we split too. 

So probably worth a discussion about these things. It's so hard, I know!!