Frustrated about house work

You guys definitely made me feel a bit more normal lol Knowing it's not just me

Having this issue now.  Husband has basically been a bachelor until I got here. We never lived together other than when he would come over for vacation and vice versa.

When I got here,  he had acted like he had done so much cleaning...if he  had then I am not sure what the place looked like before.   I am not super tidy but it's more than my tolerance for some stuff...his room right now where we sleep has dust bunnies the size of golf balls under his PC desk.  He is fine with it.  I am like I am breathing all your skin cells!

He cooks but dishes are left for a couple of nights, my dad would never have allowed that...always said that brings roaches (which husband tells me they dont have in the north here?). I offer to do them with him and he says no.

He got upset bc either I asked to clean or if I just did it it upset him too..huh?  I get it maybe he was embarrassed, its his dad's house and his father is elderly so maybe he felt embarrassed that I came in and was like...nooooo we clean.  But am I supposed to just put up with it?  I go and clean here and there behind his back, not knowing where stuff is makes it a bit harder though.

I said when we get our own place we get a dishwasher..he doesnt want one.  We disagree on how to do dishes and I think a dishwasher is worth it to avoid the possible arguments.

I would like a cleaner, and if its cheap enough like someone said above 12 an hour, a small flat can't be that expensive...most houses have one bathroom here which I imagine takes the longest to clean, so I think its money well spent.  He jokes that he can't  hire a cleaner bc he married one and mexicans can't have maids  :p

I am currently working from home so, I don't think its unfair for him to clean up while I work....and what bothers me is he games an hour or two and some stuff is still not clean.

I couldn't have pick a better avatar for this post. :p

I would like a cleaner, and if its cheap enough like someone said above 12 an hour, a small flat can't be that expensive...most houses have one bathroom here which I imagine takes the longest to clean, so I think its money well spent.  He jokes that he can't  hire a cleaner bc he married one and mexicans can't have maids  :p

My mother and father apparently quarreled about housework when they first married (I was born eight years into their marriage) since both my parents worked full-time. We always had a cleaner, a gardener and a woman who ironed clothes. My mother always said that it was money well-spent because they stopped arguing about it all and she could devote more time to me and my sister.

My father was a Mexican citizen, my mother a Mexican-American so go out and get a maid because Mexicans do indeed hire maids!!


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He jokes that he can't  hire a cleaner bc he married one

Well, you *do* have a cleaning product in your name, so ... 

Having this issue now.  Husband has basically been a bachelor until I got here. We never lived together other than when he would come over for vacation and vice versa.

When I got here,  he had acted like he had done so much cleaning...if he  had then I am not sure what the place looked like before.   I am not super tidy but it's more than my tolerance for some stuff...his room right now where we sleep has dust bunnies the size of golf balls under his PC desk.  He is fine with it.  I am like I am breathing all your skin cells!

He cooks but dishes are left for a couple of nights, my dad would never have allowed that...always said that brings roaches (which husband tells me they dont have in the north here?). I offer to do them with him and he says no.

He got upset bc either I asked to clean or if I just did it it upset him too..huh?  I get it maybe he was embarrassed, its his dad's house and his father is elderly so maybe he felt embarrassed that I came in and was like...nooooo we clean.  But am I supposed to just put up with it?  I go and clean here and there behind his back, not knowing where stuff is makes it a bit harder though.

I said when we get our own place we get a dishwasher..he doesnt want one.  We disagree on how to do dishes and I think a dishwasher is worth it to avoid the possible arguments.

I would like a cleaner, and if its cheap enough like someone said above 12 an hour, a small flat can't be that expensive...most houses have one bathroom here which I imagine takes the longest to clean, so I think its money well spent.  He jokes that he can't  hire a cleaner bc he married one and mexicans can't have maids  :p

I am currently working from home so, I don't think its unfair for him to clean up while I work....and what bothers me is he games an hour or two and some stuff is still not clean.

I couldn't have pick a better avatar for this post. :p

I'm laughing only because this was me when I first moved. Total bachelor pad. Thinking back to those days, I guess my husband has come a ways. I remember once he told me he didn't know how to clean. But my MIL house is not the tidiest so maybe there is some truth to that.

I may broach hiring a cleaner soon

I agree with your parents lorenausuk! And Eh127929 good to know that there is a chance my husband will change too, just hope it's not too late :p

We need more lemon pledge