Well it's 11 weeks tomorrow since we started our application process and nearly as many months getting everything in place for the application. It's been a rollercoaster of an experience so far; painful and inspiring to hear what people are enduring and overcoming to be with loved ones. It's also distressing to get more insight into the walls we build and their impact.
I think when I was first arriving here on this forum, adjusting to the actual timescales and powerlessness in this process, I would have liked to hear that it's survivable. Most weeks I have felt like I can't cope with more of this not knowing, and then more not knowing has been survived. There have even been some good days. I've read people's accounts of going through refusals and gathering themselves together to face it all again and finally being reunited with their loved ones. Newly-weds and nearly-weds of all ages. Imminently expectant parents, couples who've been together for decades, all walking alongside each other, helping each other out, problem solving the impossible and soothing one another's distress. Volunteers are here day in day out dedicating themselves to helping others understand the impenetrable system and weather the wait. There have been book clubs and cat challenges, and even the odd pink toaster to be won.
Life is full of uncertainty, loss and twists and turns. I've had quite a bit of loss, trauma, and uncertainty to handle in my life, most of us have, but this has been up there with my most challenging experiences. I just wanted to pause in the long wait, acknowledge how absurd and wrong this all is, but more importantly not lose sight of the love and humanity and humour and creativity and resilience that unites us here.
