Update: we spoke to our local registrars office, and our officiant spoke to hers, and they both advise that we don't sign a marriage schedule until we're back from america (as most of your suggested). So we're having a blessing service in church, which includes some careful language (we can exchange vows, but can't use "marriage", "husband", or "wife"), and our officiant (who is now just leading the service and not truly officiating) has to give a disclaimer so that guests know it's an informal blessing, not a legal wedding. Then we're off to America to be blessed with my family, then back home to sign a schedule with witnesses, and then we can apply for FLE(M). . . So for those counting, that's 3 wedding celebrations. I'm glad I picked a comfortable dress!