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Topic: Seriously? WTF?  (Read 12134 times)

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Re: Seriously? WTF?
« Reply #60 on: October 28, 2017, 01:28:54 PM »
Raise your hand if you'd rather go to the stag do than the hen do!

 [smiley=smash.gif]

I'm not really sure how they're all that different? Both involve hard-core drinking, silly costumes and going someplace for the weekend?

My bachelorette party involved my friends coming over, all of us dressing up a little and me in a sash going to dinner and then a few bars. It was really fun and right before our planned wedding in the states that didn't happen. I planned it and we has fun. A martini, beers and shots. Whoo!
The usual. American girl meets British guy. They fall into like, then into love. Then there was the big decision. The American traveled across the pond to join the Brit. And life was never the same again.


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Re: Seriously? WTF?
« Reply #61 on: October 28, 2017, 01:42:20 PM »
Second this. I have "girly tendencies" but I cannot sit and talk about makeup, guys, etc for hours. I never could.  I laugh at crude jokes and find men so much easier to talk to.


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This makes me laugh. None of my female friends and I ever talk about those things for more than a few minutes at a time. Most of the time it's about hiking, movies, tv shows, projects, work, music, and everything else. Yes, their are certain people who talk that and it can be a good ice breaker as most women can talk about those things... But it's never the main point of conversation.
The usual. American girl meets British guy. They fall into like, then into love. Then there was the big decision. The American traveled across the pond to join the Brit. And life was never the same again.


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Re: Seriously? WTF?
« Reply #62 on: October 28, 2017, 02:42:46 PM »
Are you invited as a friend or as a babysitter? Even without a stripper, I'm guessing some guys would still need a babysitter.

Are there other females going or invited?

I'm invited as a friend (I was told by our friend organising that he "didn't want to force me into something I'm not comfortable with but my name is on the list of friends to invite). I'm definitely never the "babysitter" role, especially with these guys haha but I feel like I'm not sure I can keep up with them drinking in this setting and would maybe end up being a babysitting?? Or blackout...? lol

No, no other females going. I'm always treated like "one of the guys" and they said I would like what they were doing on the stag more than what the hens are doing anyways (plus I wouldn't be invited to the hen-do I imagine as I don't know the hen THATTT well nor her friends).

I'd be flattered!  ;D

I'm not noooot flattered....it's just that I wasn't expecting it haha and they wouldn't really take "no I don't think it would be right" as an answer. The friend planning was like "Who made rules saying you CAN'T go? Just because other people don't usually have women doesn't mean we cant!" and stuff like that. They've always treated me like "one of the guys" and I'm naturally always included with my husband in their plans but I didn't reallllyyyy expect it to be taken to this level lol

Raise your hand if you'd rather go to the stag do than the hen do!

 [smiley=smash.gif]

Absolutely don't get me wrong...I definitely prefer what they're doing at the stag do hahahah especially with the particular hen in this situation as I don't know her too well and we don't have thatttt much in common. She's lovely but she's much girlier than me and I would rather go to Scotland to go go-karting and drink some beers and stuff.

Hands up if you'd rather stay home in your pjs with a movie, tea and popcorn. 

[smiley=shy.gif]

I'm not really the party type. At least not anymore. I'm not sure if it was moving to the UK or getting married that changed me.

This is definitely more my speed but that one isn't the option unfortunately hahaha. I think, for me at least, I probably go out more socially with friends since moving to the UK than I ever did in the US. I'd go out with like ONE friend in the US on the regular but I was never a massive "go out and drink in public" (as opposed to somebody's basement or something) person before moving here. We don't go out nearly as much now as we did when I first moved here but I think that's because everybody is growing up and moving further away to buy their homes and stuff as opposed to renting in a city centre.

Second this. I have "girly tendencies" but I cannot sit and talk about makeup, guys, etc for hours. I never could.  I laugh at crude jokes and find men so much easier to talk to.


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Same. It's not that I don't get along with women or can't have girly chats, but I don't tend to meet a lot of other women interested in comics/board games/beer/certain other activities/etc. I'm not good at doing my hair or makeup. I have a girly side where I have LOADS of high heels and dresses and can clean up okay, but I'm rubbish at actually behaving "lady-like". I do have some girl friends and we can do the stereotypical "girly gossip" and stuff but overall we are filthy mouthed and my good friend over here and I totally bond over food haha it's harder to get friendships with girls going, for me, but I don't have a problem once they're established...it's just always been easier to get the friendships going with guys, hence why I tend of have more male friends.

Oh KFDancer, you will 'love' this!

In addition to the woman who was completely broken-hearted that her adult son was moving out, there is another woman...

She is 52, and getting married for the first time.  Nice.  Lovely.  I'm pleased for her.  But at that age, you know... have a wee bit of dignity, right?  No, she's doing the whole hen-do thing including hot-pink tu-tu skirts, hot-pink deely-bopper antenna things, the black t-shirts with some sort of hot-pink logo printed on, penis-shaped paraphernalia, and it's all happening over a prosecco-fuelled weekend in Benidorm.

My god.  It's awful enough when the young ones do that, but when you and all your fellow hens are in their late 40's-early 50's? Positively cringe-worthy.  I would rather die.
 :-X

This makes me uncomfortable just thinking about this...I'm with KF that I HATEEE the whole "penis everything" thing.

I don't get it either.

My best friend from school got married at 23 - she's not a party girl at all (doesn't even drink), so she and her now-husband had a 'sten do' instead of separate stag and hen parties.


I'm a big fan of "sten" dos! I hate the idea of it being your "last night of freedom" as it's not at all! You're already in a relationship! Why not everybody go out and celebrate together!?
My, how time flies....

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Re: Seriously? WTF?
« Reply #63 on: October 30, 2017, 02:10:19 PM »
This makes me uncomfortable just thinking about this...I'm with KF that I HATEEE the whole "penis everything" thing.
I would have liked to have seen KSand carrying one up Pen-Y-Fan.


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Re: Seriously? WTF?
« Reply #64 on: October 30, 2017, 07:23:12 PM »
I got married for the first time at 56!  We had a few family and friends join us in Cyprus for the event.  You would be amazed at how many of them wanted me/us to have a hen/stag do.  We didn't.  We had a nice joint meal in a restaurant.

And people expected me to wear a big white dress.  I didn't.  I wore a nice long storm grey (evening) dress - which I wore again last year on Valentines Day.

Yes, peer pressure exists even when you are more "mature."


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Re: Seriously? WTF?
« Reply #65 on: October 30, 2017, 09:23:34 PM »
And people expected me to wear a big white dress.  I didn't.  I wore a nice long storm grey (evening) dress - which I wore again last year on Valentines Day.

Yeah for a wedding dress you can wear again. I think that's money well spent and money well saved!

Mine was a cute black and white frock and I'm not sure if it'd be cheeky to wear it to someone else's wedding (it's not a pressing issue as it hasn't come up yet, but I've been wrestling with the idea). It's not white, it's not a traditional wedding dress, but it is my wedding dress.... ::)
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Re: Seriously? WTF?
« Reply #66 on: October 30, 2017, 10:59:08 PM »
I bet it looked gorgeous on you.


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Re: Seriously? WTF?
« Reply #67 on: October 31, 2017, 10:44:10 AM »
I bet it looked gorgeous on you.

It was comfy on me and on the budget.  ;)

I'm very happy to be in the exclusive non-traditional wedding dress club. There's nothing wrong with a big white dress, it's just not my style (dresses, full stop, are hardly my style). ::)
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Re: Seriously? WTF?
« Reply #68 on: October 31, 2017, 10:46:10 AM »
While my dress was white, it was off the rack at Debenhams.  I wore it a few times!  Sadly pregnancy expended my rib cage and it’s never gone back down, so I can no longer wear it.


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Re: Seriously? WTF?
« Reply #69 on: October 31, 2017, 11:09:08 AM »
My WTF moment today is a two-parter:

Part One
I like to bake and we live with FIL and grand-FIL. Usually everyone is away in the mornings so I have the kitchen to myself, but FIL is home on medical leave for a few weeks, so he's home all day, every day. [smiley=bomb.gif]

Today I'm making sourdough bread. It takes some prep a few days in advance (getting the starter fed and up to the right amount) so I purposefully plan my bake days for days that nothing is happening and no kids are over. When FIL is home, he's usually watching TV and/or on his tablet.

I started mixing my dough and FIL started vacuuming. He only vacuums when kids are coming over, but I don't say anything. Then he moves the fruit bowl off the table which he really only does if the kids are coming over. I ask him if they are coming over and he says 'oh, no, just... erm... tidying up'.

Ok.... well, it's a big kitchen, but it's always harder to cook or bake when there's someone else around to bump into and be in the way of. I finished what I was doing and tidied up, trying to subtly cover cutlery and crockery out drying since he's a bit all over the place with the cleaning sprays (I don't really fancy poison on my stuff and that's a whole other WTF that I'll save for another day).

Why he didn't just wait until I was done in the kitchen, I have no idea.

Part Two
SIL's birthday is coming up and FIL told DH this morning that she's coming over with cake later this week. DH texted me about it, so I knew, but no one said anything to me about it. The same thing happened (but reversed - they told me, not DH) last week for Diwali. We do ask them what's up regularly and if anything is going on, but no one says anything. They aren't big chatters, so it's really like pulling teeth. Even when you do get something out of them, they'll contradict themselves two seconds later or say you misheard them.

In the kitchen, I casually asked FIL if SIL was doing anything for her birthday. He said she was coming over with cake tomorrow (he told DH the day after... but it is possible there was a miscommunication between FIL and DH and one of them got it wrong).

Well, yesterday she was over and I saw her. She left the kids with FIL for a while and came back with a small slice of cake for the kids.

Side-WTF: I was in the kitchen when she was cutting the cake and wasn't offered any. I didn't want any, but I was taught to not eat something in front of someone else without offering to share.

Putting the pieces together, I'm guessing she went to the bakery to order her birthday cake. I saw her after she got back and she didn't say a word to me about doing anything for her birthday.

So:
- FIL mentioned the birthday 'party' (it might just be cake, it might be family coming over... who knows...) to DH
- I prised it out of FIL
- SIL said nothing at all about it to me

DH and I will be sticking to our usual schedule tomorrow. She's turned down invites from us because they were last minute, and there hasn't even been a real invite for this, just a casual mention of cake, so we're just going to carry on with our day.
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Re: Seriously? WTF?
« Reply #70 on: October 31, 2017, 12:15:57 PM »
TF, I don't know how you do it! All that nonsense would be too much for me!



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Re: Seriously? WTF?
« Reply #71 on: October 31, 2017, 12:58:58 PM »
TF, I don't know how you do it! All that nonsense would be too much for me!

Thanks larrabee. It's good to hear that it's not just us being weird.

When the whole family is a bit nuts, it's easy to feel like the odd one out and the only one that's not behaving normally. Luckily, DH and I are in the same boat.

We planned on living with FIL for one year to save money and we're halfway through that now. Winter is going to be tough, but I can't wait to get out of here!
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Re: Seriously? WTF?
« Reply #72 on: October 31, 2017, 01:01:18 PM »
TF, I wouldn't be able to take the passive-aggressiveness of it all!  You are a saint!

So I've got one to share:

Last night, my husband says he talked to his mom and his parents don't want to do Christmas together.  They don't want to eat together or anything.  They plan to pop over in the afternoon, after Christmas dinner, for a cup of coffee.  They are also not going to the cousin's house for Boxing Day, which she hosts every year.

Nice, eh?

My kids will be the only kids on the planet who has grandparents that live less than 10 miles away who CHOOSE not to be with them on Christmas.


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Re: Seriously? WTF?
« Reply #73 on: October 31, 2017, 01:02:06 PM »

We planned on living with FIL for one year to save money and we're halfway through that now. Winter is going to be tough, but I can't wait to get out of here!

Are you hoping to buy?


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Re: Seriously? WTF?
« Reply #74 on: October 31, 2017, 01:18:28 PM »
Are you hoping to buy?

We are hoping to save to eventually buy. Probably not straight after we get out of jail move out of FIL's, but the money saved from being in hell living at FIL's will probably go toward a house.

Or another extended holiday. Six months Airbnb-ing around Europe was amazing. [smiley=heart.gif] I was still working, but DH took some well deserved time off.

This is like the total opposite of a relaxing working holiday. [smiley=smash.gif]
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