Author Topic: Losing my mind: Car accident, home flooded & more (all while trying to emigrate)  (Read 1070 times)

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Offline AweSam

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I'm about to mentally implode from the stress of the last few months and wanted a place to vent about it, but if I call my mom one more time I think she might start screening my calls.

Backstory:
In June my (British) husband has a weird medical thing and it gets worse. Because his show ended and insurance was changing, his insurance got messed up and he was covered until May 31st, but it didn't resume until July 1st (despite being charged for June). So he can't even go to the doctor. This is the 'final straw' after years of not being happy in Los Angeles. Since I'm pretty sure I need a career changeup anyway, we decide in July to move. I tell my boss and coworkers, emphasizing my husband's now precarious health stuff, and everyone is sad but supportive. I leave job in August.
Husband and I embark on a US road trip to see the solar eclipse in Grand Teton and say 'goodbye' to America. We plan to be gone until November.


HERE IS WHERE THE STRESS REALLY STARTS:
August 20th - The person who is supposed to sublet our condo (and help us fund this road trip) pushes her moving date to September 1st. That's OK. She's a friend, no worries. Spoiler: she ends up never showing up.

September 11th (Day 31 of road trip) - we total the car right after we got back into the US from Canada. We're physically fine. Just shaken up and stranded 1000 miles from home with a carload of stuff. We try to make the most of it with our rental car and hit up Seattle and Portland, as well as some small towns, as we make our way back down the coast.

September 29th - The fires/weather ruin our plans to go to Yosemite from where we are in San Francisco so we decide to go home for a week and then head East toward the Grand Canyon.
THANK GOODNESS WE WENT HOME. Walk into our condo at 9:00pm on that Friday to water streaming thru our CEILING. Panic ensues. Neighbors upstairs aren't home. We have to have a locksmith to come and break into their unit (owners are notified and aware, obviously). Turns out their kitchen sink has backed up and flooded their unit SO MUCH that it started pouring into our unit.

September 30th - Remediation begins. Our property management firm messes up BIG TIME and gives approval for the company to tear up our floors telling the company that we approved it (we had not). Chaos. Panic. Property management isn't answering our calls and the company says they have to do it now or else mold will start. Goodbye lovely hardwood floors. Also they tear our ceiling out, for obvious reasons. Our nicest piece of furniture is ruined.

October 2nd - Husband is losing his mind at the property management company. Our personal insurance tells us that the specific time of pipe blockage means we are barely covered - but we do get reimbursed for the furniture ruined. Now it's to battle with the building's insurance to get everything fixed. ALSO WE ARE PLANNING ON MOVING COUNTRY AT THIS TIME.

October - No floor and no ceiling. Cannot use kitchen. We have to eat out every meal. I begin to lose my appetite for all food ever.

November - Oh did you think it would be fixed? HAHAHAHHAHA. I finally get approval on a quote for work to be done and it gets started the first week of November with a confident declaration that all will be done by Thanksgiving. LIES. LIES. LIES. We do get a ceiling and most of a floor by then, though - even if there are some mistakes.

December 4th - The workmen were supposed to finish this morning but I just got a text that they messed up the order for the remaining materials and now we will have to wait until Wednesday(UGH). I have multiple people coming to buy some appliances soon. Oh and a real estate agent is coming to meet with us this afternoon because we also need to sell this place.

Did I mention that during this time we also had to pack everything (currently in a giant pile in the dining area) and source a moving company, which is collecting our stuff on Friday this week? And we need to sell this place? And we won't be in the country when that happens? And that I am trying to get rid of a TON of furniture and crap? And we leave Los Angeles two weeks from today?

And, of course, we just went through the visa process which was super fun and not at all stressful.

Basically I'm so tired and I've never hated Los Angeles more than I do right now. I signed up to Wag! and have been walking dogs (and getting paid for it) once or twice a day for emotional therapy. And clocking lots of podcast hours on those walks. My poor house rabbit has been locked in the windowless master bathroom for two months now as the main living area has been under perpetual construction.

I just want this all to be over with. I've cried more in the last 3 months than I ever thought I was capable of. On the 18th we are O-U-T so I have a hard deadline, but until then my sanity is in jeopardy. I'm trying to be grateful for the support I've gotten from friends and family (my parents in NY have been my impromptu therapists, and my MIL in London has been a huge help with stuff on that end), but it's just been a really really hard few months. And I know that there's a TON to do once we land so it's not like this all miraculously ends. Sigh.

Sorry for the length of this rant.

SPOUSE VISA TIMELINE (Priority)

Met: August 2009 (Pennsylvania, USA)
Engaged: November 2012
~US Immigration Process~
Married: October 25th, 2013 (Los Angeles, USA)


Application Submitted Online: October 18th, 2017
Biometrics + Docs Sent: October 23rd, 2017
Documents delivered per UPS: October 25th, 2017
Received in Sheffield email: October 25th, 2017
Decision email: November 20th, 2017 (18 BD)
Passport received: November 22nd, 2017 (APPROVED)
Travel to UK: December 28th, 2017

Offline margo

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I'm about to mentally implode from the stress of the last few months and wanted a place to vent about it, but if I call my mom one more time I think she might start screening my calls.

Backstory:
In June my (British) husband has a weird medical thing and it gets worse. Because his show ended and insurance was changing, his insurance got messed up and he was covered until May 31st, but it didn't resume until July 1st (despite being charged for June). So he can't even go to the doctor. This is the 'final straw' after years of not being happy in Los Angeles. Since I'm pretty sure I need a career changeup anyway, we decide in July to move. I tell my boss and coworkers, emphasizing my husband's now precarious health stuff, and everyone is sad but supportive. I leave job in August.
Husband and I embark on a US road trip to see the solar eclipse in Grand Teton and say 'goodbye' to America. We plan to be gone until November.


HERE IS WHERE THE STRESS REALLY STARTS:
August 20th - The person who is supposed to sublet our condo (and help us fund this road trip) pushes her moving date to September 1st. That's OK. She's a friend, no worries. Spoiler: she ends up never showing up.

September 11th (Day 31 of road trip) - we total the car right after we got back into the US from Canada. We're physically fine. Just shaken up and stranded 1000 miles from home with a carload of stuff. We try to make the most of it with our rental car and hit up Seattle and Portland, as well as some small towns, as we make our way back down the coast.

September 29th - The fires/weather ruin our plans to go to Yosemite from where we are in San Francisco so we decide to go home for a week and then head East toward the Grand Canyon.
THANK GOODNESS WE WENT HOME. Walk into our condo at 9:00pm on that Friday to water streaming thru our CEILING. Panic ensues. Neighbors upstairs aren't home. We have to have a locksmith to come and break into their unit (owners are notified and aware, obviously). Turns out their kitchen sink has backed up and flooded their unit SO MUCH that it started pouring into our unit.

September 30th - Remediation begins. Our property management firm messes up BIG TIME and gives approval for the company to tear up our floors telling the company that we approved it (we had not). Chaos. Panic. Property management isn't answering our calls and the company says they have to do it now or else mold will start. Goodbye lovely hardwood floors. Also they tear our ceiling out, for obvious reasons. Our nicest piece of furniture is ruined.

October 2nd - Husband is losing his mind at the property management company. Our personal insurance tells us that the specific time of pipe blockage means we are barely covered - but we do get reimbursed for the furniture ruined. Now it's to battle with the building's insurance to get everything fixed. ALSO WE ARE PLANNING ON MOVING COUNTRY AT THIS TIME.

October - No floor and no ceiling. Cannot use kitchen. We have to eat out every meal. I begin to lose my appetite for all food ever.

November - Oh did you think it would be fixed? HAHAHAHHAHA. I finally get approval on a quote for work to be done and it gets started the first week of November with a confident declaration that all will be done by Thanksgiving. LIES. LIES. LIES. We do get a ceiling and most of a floor by then, though - even if there are some mistakes.

December 4th - The workmen were supposed to finish this morning but I just got a text that they messed up the order for the remaining materials and now we will have to wait until Wednesday(UGH). I have multiple people coming to buy some appliances soon. Oh and a real estate agent is coming to meet with us this afternoon because we also need to sell this place.

Did I mention that during this time we also had to pack everything (currently in a giant pile in the dining area) and source a moving company, which is collecting our stuff on Friday this week? And we need to sell this place? And we won't be in the country when that happens? And that I am trying to get rid of a TON of furniture and crap? And we leave Los Angeles two weeks from today?

And, of course, we just went through the visa process which was super fun and not at all stressful.

Basically I'm so tired and I've never hated Los Angeles more than I do right now. I signed up to Wag! and have been walking dogs (and getting paid for it) once or twice a day for emotional therapy. And clocking lots of podcast hours on those walks. My poor house rabbit has been locked in the windowless master bathroom for two months now as the main living area has been under perpetual construction.

I just want this all to be over with. I've cried more in the last 3 months than I ever thought I was capable of. On the 18th we are O-U-T so I have a hard deadline, but until then my sanity is in jeopardy. I'm trying to be grateful for the support I've gotten from friends and family (my parents in NY have been my impromptu therapists, and my MIL in London has been a huge help with stuff on that end), but it's just been a really really hard few months. And I know that there's a TON to do once we land so it's not like this all miraculously ends. Sigh.

Sorry for the length of this rant.
Aw man. I feel your stress. It will be over soon. If you've seen any of my posts they've involved car dying, trying to get house ready to list while physically limited and having no help. I'm sorry so many things have gone wrong for you too :( But the end is in sight and hopefully your husband can get the care he needs on the NHS! Sending you a big virtual hug and glass of wine!


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Met: 2013
Married: 2016
Biometrics: 7/25/17
Mailed: 7/29/17
Confirmation Email: 8/2/17
Decision Email:
Received:

Online larrabee

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Oh boy! That's a lot of stuff to be dealing with.  [smiley=hug.gif]

You will get it all done though and hopefully soon this will be nothing more than an entertaining dinner story!
March 28th 2013-Moved to UK, husband on spouse visa.Oct 20th 2015-Applied by mail for FLR(M).Feb 1st 2016 FLR(M).March 7th 2018 ILR. YAY! March 21st NCS&JCAP appointment.

Online KFdancer

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Hugs!  This too shall pass!

Offline AweSam

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Aw man. I feel your stress. It will be over soon. If you've seen any of my posts they've involved car dying, trying to get house ready to list while physically limited and having no help. I'm sorry so many things have gone wrong for you too :( But the end is in sight and hopefully your husband can get the care he needs on the NHS! Sending you a big virtual hug and glass of wine!


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Oh Man I did not see that - I am so sorry!!! He's already got appointments on the books for after the holidays so hopefully we'll get him back to normal soon. Thank you for the virtual hug and the suggestion of wine (a glass at lunch is a definite today) <3
Oh boy! That's a lot of stuff to be dealing with.  [smiley=hug.gif]

You will get it all done though and hopefully soon this will be nothing more than an entertaining dinner story!

I'm ready for the day where it's funny and not tear-inducing (the 19th, maybe!?). Thanks, Larrabee!

Hugs!  This too shall pass!

Thank you <3
SPOUSE VISA TIMELINE (Priority)

Met: August 2009 (Pennsylvania, USA)
Engaged: November 2012
~US Immigration Process~
Married: October 25th, 2013 (Los Angeles, USA)


Application Submitted Online: October 18th, 2017
Biometrics + Docs Sent: October 23rd, 2017
Documents delivered per UPS: October 25th, 2017
Received in Sheffield email: October 25th, 2017
Decision email: November 20th, 2017 (18 BD)
Passport received: November 22nd, 2017 (APPROVED)
Travel to UK: December 28th, 2017

Offline Blossom

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What a nightmare for you!  Lots of wine and lots of hugs to you.

It will be over soon.  Chin up. x


Offline Eh127929

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What a nightmare, I'm so sorry. Soon, as larrabee said this will be over and you'll look back and laugh. X


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Offline phatbeetle

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Oh no!! Sounds intense and wild.  Tough right now, but good stories for the future. Hugs and hope all goes up from here!
I've never gotten food on my underpants!
Work permit (2007) to British Citizen (2014)
You're stuck with me!

Offline AweSam

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What a nightmare for you!  Lots of wine and lots of hugs to you.

It will be over soon.  Chin up. x

Thank you <3

What a nightmare, I'm so sorry. Soon, as larrabee said this will be over and you'll look back and laugh. X


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I cannot wait until I'm laughing at at all this!

Oh no!! Sounds intense and wild.  Tough right now, but good stories for the future. Hugs and hope all goes up from here!

Hopefully the near future is all gets sorted. Thank you <3
SPOUSE VISA TIMELINE (Priority)

Met: August 2009 (Pennsylvania, USA)
Engaged: November 2012
~US Immigration Process~
Married: October 25th, 2013 (Los Angeles, USA)


Application Submitted Online: October 18th, 2017
Biometrics + Docs Sent: October 23rd, 2017
Documents delivered per UPS: October 25th, 2017
Received in Sheffield email: October 25th, 2017
Decision email: November 20th, 2017 (18 BD)
Passport received: November 22nd, 2017 (APPROVED)
Travel to UK: December 28th, 2017

Offline AweSam

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Just a quick update on ~things~.

Still bad:
1. Repairs on condo are still not done. Husband scolded company today and told him we leave next week so it has to be done end of discussion by Monday. Seems possible?

2. May have to suit the building’s management company over fees being taken but severe breach in contact. Trying to resolve without litigation first. Call with owner scheduled for Thursday. Sigh.

3. After 4 years of near perfect behavior my rabbit has decided to start peeing outside of his litter box. No idea why. Think he’s tired of living in the bathroom.

Good news:
1. I took a meeting with my old bosses at my last job today and it was VERY good. Talked about what I should do in London and might work with them as a London representative somehow with the agency which would be super cool. Alternatively they suggested some ideas for immediately jumping into the industry over there in a different and more temporary position with some clients working there at the moment. Super excited and thrilled that I could potentially work with my favorite colleagues again (even if there’s an 8 hour time difference).

2. We hired a real estate agent (yay) and she seems awesome. She and the company are going to handle loads - including painting, staging, etc. after we leave. Big relief.

3. The movers take our stuff on Friday. I’m 99% ready. We might be slightly over the capacity, but I’ve prepped stuff that can be tossed last minute. Feeling hopeful.


Lots of stress and stuff to do still but things started to improve today. Alas, I did not win the lottery, but just taking the little victories :P


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SPOUSE VISA TIMELINE (Priority)

Met: August 2009 (Pennsylvania, USA)
Engaged: November 2012
~US Immigration Process~
Married: October 25th, 2013 (Los Angeles, USA)


Application Submitted Online: October 18th, 2017
Biometrics + Docs Sent: October 23rd, 2017
Documents delivered per UPS: October 25th, 2017
Received in Sheffield email: October 25th, 2017
Decision email: November 20th, 2017 (18 BD)
Passport received: November 22nd, 2017 (APPROVED)
Travel to UK: December 28th, 2017

Online KFdancer

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Great news!

Don't forget to appoint someone as Power of Attorney for ease on the house sale.   :)

Offline margo

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*sigh* Feeling like I will never cross the finish line. Found out why I've been feeling extra crummy, there's a cracked heat exchanger in my furnace throwing out 10ppm CO. So not enough to kill me and set off the detectors, but enough to make me feel pretty crummy. Still have to paint and finish clearing things, now with no heat as it's not safe to run.  I don't know how people smoothly move to a new country on the drop of a hat, I've had months and still can't do it in time!


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Biometrics: 7/25/17
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Confirmation Email: 8/2/17
Decision Email:
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Online KFdancer

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*sigh* Feeling like I will never cross the finish line. Found out why I've been feeling extra crummy, there's a cracked heat exchanger in my furnace throwing out 10ppm CO. So not enough to kill me and set off the detectors, but enough to make me feel pretty crummy. Still have to paint and finish clearing things, now with no heat as it's not safe to run.  I don't know how people smoothly move to a new country on the drop of a hat, I've had months and still can't do it in time!


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I don't either.  I had six months to prepare when I was transferring here.  Still not smooth!

Offline BlackAck

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Wow!  These excruciating emigration epics have me worried too....

Fingers crossed it all gets sorted out for you guys! 

Offline TravelingFrog

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I don't know how people smoothly move to a new country on the drop of a hat, I've had months and still can't do it in time!

I think when people have big things to arrange (house sale, pets moving, kids in school), something is bound to not go smoothly. But once you're in the UK and done with everything, it'll just be a good story to tell at parties and you can laugh about it (I hope!).

Fingers crossed everything goes as smoothly as possible from here on out.
July 2012 - Fiancée Visa | Nov 2012 - Married
Dec 2012 - FLR | Nov 2014 - ILR | Dec 2015 - UK Citizen