Well, my parents became adults in the Depression (as in the Great one) and things were just different back then. Look at what passed for humor - if you watch the Three Stooges it's actually incredibly cruel. Thankfully, growing up 50-60 years ago is not a mirror of what is generally (note that generally) acceptable now. Or, I'd like to think that, but I'm not convinced.
I think people resort to violence towards children as an easy out. Having raised one, I know that there are times when you are just at the end of your rope and it would be so easy to lash out at them. But you're the adult, and that's inexcusable. Plus, there's a huge difference between a swat on the backside and a beating. Not that I approve of swatting, but terrorizing a child emotionally or with violence leaves lasting issues.
When I was in high school in the '60s out in the sticks we had the "Board of Education" - which was the equivalent of a small cricket bat with holes drilled into to increase the impact. I was always too terrified to do anything that would have gotten me a meeting with the Board.
When the Daughter was in her first few years of school they would send home a permission slip re: paddling, and I returned it every year with a a message written about assault being a crime and that I would bring the most serious legal action I could on them if they tried any of that nonsense. The kid was a good student, but they made her life hell that last year we lived out there, and finally tossed her out of the magnet school on a trumped up issue. We were leaving anyway, so it didn't matter, but, sadly, it shows that the mindset is still very much alive in the US of A.
Jimbocz, I am sorry to read your backstory. All we can do is move forward, knowing better, right?