Author Topic: I regret moving back to the States  (Read 547 times)

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Offline Tommy25

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I regret moving back to the States
« on: December 09, 2017, 09:11:10 PM »
I lived in the UK for five and a half years. I moved back to America two months ago. I think I regret it. Maybe it's just the fact that I've had to leave all my friends in the UK. But looking at the state of the US government, all I see is negativity around me and I don't have much hope for this country. I miss being with my friends, I miss being able to walk down to the pub, I miss not having to pay for health insurance. I just really miss the UK. I don't know if this will get any better. I was on indefinite leave to remain, so I have two years to decide whether or not to move back. It's just scary because I know that I'm on the clock; if the two years run out, I don't know how I'd ever qualify for another visa to move back. I initially moved to the UK on a spouse visa, but we got separated (although not legally/formally). My husband and I still talk but I don't know that we'd ever get back together. I just really wish I'd gotten citizenship before moving back home...now I have only less than two short years to make a decision that could really impact the rest of my life, and I don't know what to do. Just take it a day at a time I guess.

Offline larrabee

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Re: I regret moving back to the States
« Reply #1 on: December 09, 2017, 09:21:10 PM »
I lived in the UK for five and a half years. I moved back to America two months ago. I think I regret it. Maybe it's just the fact that I've had to leave all my friends in the UK. But looking at the state of the US government, all I see is negativity around me and I don't have much hope for this country. I miss being with my friends, I miss being able to walk down to the pub, I miss not having to pay for health insurance. I just really miss the UK. I don't know if this will get any better. I was on indefinite leave to remain, so I have two years to decide whether or not to move back. It's just scary because I know that I'm on the clock; if the two years run out, I don't know how I'd ever qualify for another visa to move back. I initially moved to the UK on a spouse visa, but we got separated (although not legally/formally). My husband and I still talk but I don't know that we'd ever get back together. I just really wish I'd gotten citizenship before moving back home...now I have only less than two short years to make a decision that could really impact the rest of my life, and I don't know what to do. Just take it a day at a time I guess.

If I were you, honestly, I'd move back now, get citizenship and be done with it. The longer you leave it, the harder it will be and the longer you'll have to commit to stay in order to qualify.
I can't see the fact that you didn't get citizenship bothering you less as time goes by, it's likely always going to bother you if you don't.

And it sounds like you were happier in the UK in any case, so why not just go back for that reason alone?  :)
March 29th 2013-Moved to UK, husband on spouse visa.Oct 20th 2015-Applied by mail for FLR(M).Feb 1st 2016 FLR(M).

Online lorenausuk

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Re: I regret moving back to the States
« Reply #2 on: December 10, 2017, 12:16:43 AM »
Oh Tommy25, I totally understand!

I moved to the UK back in late 1995 to marry my English husband. I had two of my children in England, I owned a home, had my dearest friends, a business and my entire future there.

My husband lost it all in the Telecoms crash of 2000. He was unemployed from 2002-2004. We burned through our savings and had no choice but to leave the UK and return to the US in 2004.

We've been homeless and started over since then and we've lived ok but we desperately want to move back to England. We've been back for nearly 14 years but we've not really settled. We want to go "home". I never got my citizenship and now I have to go through hoops to return and qualify for it again. I just want to go "home".

Learn from me and take Larrabee's advice, go back and get your citizenship!!


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Online jfkimberly

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Re: I regret moving back to the States
« Reply #3 on: December 11, 2017, 01:52:14 PM »
My like button is still broken, but if it wasn't, I would like both larrabee's post and lorenausuk's.  Go back for your citizenship.  Do it now, before your life gets too close to settled in the US.  You haven't been back to the US long enough for that to be too comfortable yet, so it's not as hard now to leave to get citizenship.  After you get that sorted, you can have the rest of your life to make a decision about where you want to be, and you can change your mind more easily.  But don't let yourself miss this opportunity.  It would be tragic.
9/1/2013 - "fiancée" (marriage) visa issued
4/6/2013 - married (certificate issued same-day)
5/6/2013 - FLR(M)#1 in person -- approved!
8/1/2016 - FLR(M)#2 by post -- approved!
Now just waiting out the clock for ILR.

Online jimbocz

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Re: I regret moving back to the States
« Reply #4 on: December 11, 2017, 02:51:20 PM »
You sound like you are suffering from reverse culture shock.  When you move to another culture, you have ups and downs where you are either having a good time or not fitting in and feeling homesick.  At first, everything is a fun adventure but then about two months in, you have a down cycle.  From then on the cycles can be mapped like a sign wave that gets gentler over time. 

The freaky bit is that when you go back home, you get the same feelings in a mirror image.  That puts you right in the time for a big low period.  Over time it will get better and become gentler again. 

I hope this knowledge helps you understand what is happening and good luck whatever you do.

Offline x0Kiss0fDeath

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Re: I regret moving back to the States
« Reply #5 on: December 11, 2017, 04:20:15 PM »
My like button is still broken, but if it wasn't, I would like both larrabee's post and lorenausuk's.  Go back for your citizenship.  Do it now, before your life gets too close to settled in the US.  You haven't been back to the US long enough for that to be too comfortable yet, so it's not as hard now to leave to get citizenship.  After you get that sorted, you can have the rest of your life to make a decision about where you want to be, and you can change your mind more easily.  But don't let yourself miss this opportunity.  It would be tragic.

My thoughts exactly all around...And this is the same reasoning why everybody who is returning back to the US (whether divorce or something else) and asking if it's worth it to get their UK Citizenship is met with a "if you can afford it, just do it and be done with it". Just getting it done with (if it's within your budget) will put you at ease and will give you all the time in the world to make whatever decision you want in terms of where to let your roots grow.

Offline larrabee

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Re: I regret moving back to the States
« Reply #6 on: December 11, 2017, 07:09:36 PM »
My thoughts exactly all around...And this is the same reasoning why everybody who is returning back to the US (whether divorce or something else) and asking if it's worth it to get their UK Citizenship is met with a "if you can afford it, just do it and be done with it". Just getting it done with (if it's within your budget) will put you at ease and will give you all the time in the world to make whatever decision you want in terms of where to let your roots grow.

I'd actually go so far as to say, even if it is outwith your budget, try to find some way to make it happen. Think of it as an investment in your future. :)
March 29th 2013-Moved to UK, husband on spouse visa.Oct 20th 2015-Applied by mail for FLR(M).Feb 1st 2016 FLR(M).

Offline x0Kiss0fDeath

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Re: I regret moving back to the States
« Reply #7 on: December 11, 2017, 08:32:57 PM »
I'd actually go so far as to say, even if it is outwith your budget, try to find some way to make it happen. Think of it as an investment in your future. :)

Oh I would totally agree with that personally, but I think the one message that stands across the board is to go for it. Some people take financials into consideration and others don't. I totally think it's worthwhile.

Offline rubydamselfly

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Re: I regret moving back to the States
« Reply #8 on: December 20, 2017, 11:00:38 PM »
I would move back asap. I too regret moving back to the US and basically regretted it right away. 2.5+ years later I still regret it and hope to move back soon.

Offline abercroft

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Re: I regret moving back to the States
« Reply #9 on: January 05, 2018, 06:13:37 AM »
Yup, me too!
I moved to the UK in 2005, then to Canada in 2012. DH said he always wanted to live in America, but we couldn’t afford the health insurance....
and I’m also Canadian, so, well you see. Neither of us had lived in Canada before.

I HATE Canada. Vancouver is extremely expensive, and no one wants you to be their friend. Boring. Very isolated, in mind and spirit. Even though I went to University here and earned yet another degree and quickly found well paid work, and DH did even better I in terms of employment.  I’ve never settled, not even close. I’ve  never stopped pining for the UK. I for sure  feel more British than Canadian. I’m a citizen, but I’m not Canadian....

Anyway, after five years in Canada DH’s step daughter committed suicide. He started to think about friends and family, and how face time maybe isn’t enough. Our house was worth a lot more than we paid for it, so we sold and are off back to the UK this spring.

I am over the moon!!!

So I know exactly how you feel. Being in Canada almost destroyed my marriage, and even though DH has finally said yes, our relationship isn’t what it used to be.

Home is where you feel complete, where you belong.

Some of us are just born in two places, my body  in the US, but my heart in England!
« Last Edit: January 05, 2018, 06:18:07 AM by abercroft »
Courage doesn't always roar. Sometimes it is the quiet voice at the end of the day saying:
"I will try again tomorrow"