Welcome to the forum
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To clarify a couple of things:
- you haven't been 'living' in the UK for the last few months, because that is illegal on a visitor visa. You have simply been visiting. (i.e. don't refer to it as living in the UK because that could get you in trouble with immigration)
- a visitor visa does not allow 6 months in a year (there is no such rule), it allows up to 6 months PER visit. When you enter the UK you are granted 6 months, then when you leave the 6 months is cancelled; when you enter again, you are granted another 6 months, then when you leave, it's cancelled again
- So, when you left for the US over Christmas your first 6-month visitor visa became invalid and you 'applied' for a new one when you returned and were granted another 6 months.
- there's no general rule of thumb that you cannot spend more than 6 months in 12 months in the UK... you just have to show that you have not been spending more time in the UK than in the US in the last 12 months.
You should ideally spend as much time outside the UK as you did inside the UK. I.e. if you returned to the UK in Dec/Jan and you are leaving in March, then you should ideally spend 3 months outside the UK before coming back as a visitor (this does not apply to fiance/spousal visas).
The only question I would have regarding that is: would I need to get a new passport after the marriage before applying for the visa? Also, would a marriage in the usa/spouse visa process take longer than just a fiance visa (my goal is to return asap, as I don't want to be living at my parent's house while my father is dying... seen that too many times already).
Sorry to hear about your father
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1) No, you don't have to change your name in your passport, however, your visa will only be issued in the name in your passport, and it's a hassle to change it later, so if you do want to change it, you should do it before you apply for the visa
2) No, there is no difference in processing times between a fiance (marriage) visa and a spousal visa... they are all lumped together in the line and they won't know which one you are applying for until they pick it up to make a decision... and that part only takes a couple of hours.
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Second, since I have been in the country for 5 months since last June, and I know a visitor visa only allows for 6 months a year, would I have to wait a year till I could return, or does the visa (fiance or spouse) allow me to return immediately?
As mentioned above, there is no 6 months in a year rule... and that would only apply to returning on a visitor visas anyway, not a fiance/spousal visa.
You can return immediately upon receiving a fiance or spousal visa... however I would allow up to 3 months for the visa to be processed if you pay for priority processing (it gets busy heading into the summer), or potentially 3-6 months if you don't.
And while it did take a few months, his inheritance of several 100,000's was deposited into his bank. So I'm not exactly sure how to prove income, which is substantially over minimum needed, because it hasn't exactly been just a "monthly pay stub" type thing. Would a letter from his boss along with bank statements be appropriate? And would we fill out both the income AND savings section on the appendix 2 form?
Sorry about his father
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If his savings are at least £62,500 and have been in his account for at least 6 months before you apply, then you can just fill out the savings section and you don't even need to mention his job or provide any evidence of his employment income.
Savings is the easiest category to meet anyway and only requires 6 months of bank statements and evidence of where the money came form.
Also we are a bit confused about the classification of our home. It's a rental that used to be a council flat, but was bought up by some kind of association, so not sure what to list for that. What kind of documents are needed to prove residency?
So he rents from the housing association?
You normally need evidence of his tenancy agreement along with a letter from the housing association giving you permission to live there once your visa has been granted.
For proof of relationship we have photos, my ring, flight e-confirmations (no physical tickets), but our correspondence was minimal (facebook video chat/messenger for the few months i was away), and since i've been here since october, most of our messages are things like "can you pick up dog food?" and such. Is that enough?
For time spent together in the same country, you don't need evidence of communication because you are together in person. So for October to March, you just show evidence of flight tickets.
For the time between June and October, and from March onwards, you can use emails/Skype/messages to prove communication while apart.
Finally, do all documents need to be dated within 30days of sending in the application?
The financial documents must be within 28 days of submitting the online application.
There's no specific requirement for everything else, but you will want them to be dated as close to the application date as possible.