If this is your second time around....

Wanted to post a new topic on here so we can see how far we can push Britwife! lol  JK!!

For those of you on your second (or more) marriage...how does being married to a Brit compare to the good ole boys of the USA?
For me I do feel the British men are much more reserved and wont easily discuss their feelings as American men do. Also Im still getting used to the drinking culture here. My hubby is by no means a drunk but he always has to have lager in the fridge and goes out for a pint a few nights a month with his friends.
I do find my Brit hubby is much more caring and understanding of my needs than my ex American husband was.

Whats your views?

I am on my second marriage to an Englishman.  He is caring, kind, loving and open about his feelings.  My American exhusband, was not very open with his feelings and was a "player".  It is hard to compare the two.  For me, my English husband is more settled to have a family and to be in a commited relationship.  My ex is still playing the field, it is only now that he is completely honest and open with me, strange how it all worked out.


I have dated other English men who are very unlike my current husband, more reserved, more into the drinking.  All the English men I have dated have loved my boldness and sense of advernture, well one did not, we will pretend he does not count

My American exhusband, was not very open with his feelings and was a "player"

Not sure how old you are but could his age be a factor? My ex was also the same as yours but we were just 23 when we got married. When I married Frank I was 34 and he was 35. I think at our ages were were both more than ready to settle down.

My ex is older than my husband by a decade, but my husband was far more mature and ready to have a family.  I think it has to do w/the fact that my ex grew up in a very dysfunctional family, whereas my husband and I both came from very stable backgrounds. 

My Scots husband has a lovely, cheeky sense of humour, doesn't get offended nearly as much as the American men I was involved in, and is much more easy-going and calm. 

There's none of the ambivelence and fence-sitting with him that I found with the American men I had relationships with.  He was 24 when we met, and couldn't wait to get married and start trying for a family. 

I don't know that it's a cultural thing for me. I do know that when I divorced my son's dad, I was OFF men. Totally. Didn't even date for four years after the split. My son then got a little older and I started feeling like I wanted to get out wiht an adult, so I did loosen the rule and dated some, but not with any intention of ever marrying again.

I just didnt feel there was a man out there for me.

Yeah, well...enter this really great man who swept me off my feet. But more importantly, he is very much like me. We agree on too much to count, and any disagreements are actually compromises that work nicely to benefit both of us.

But, by the time I met him, I knew what was important to me, and he matched a very strong checklist in so many line items. Okay, I confess something. Back in college, when we were sitting around the girl's dorm with curlers in our hair (yes, that long ago, mud packs, popcorn, baby doll pajamas...LOL), a few of us made a list, our perfect man.

I'll be darned...my British husband fit just about every one! Is it because he's British? Well, the only thing British-related is that he has a British accent. (LOL, yeah, I pined after the British accent...heck, it was afterall, my perfect mate, and that does include the accent!.) All the other stuff I put on there could apply to any body.

But the fact I never found an American male who filled all those attributes, hmmm...coincidence...or reality?

Not sure how old you are but could his age be a factor? My ex was also the same as yours but we were just 23 when we got married. When I married Frank I was 34 and he was 35. I think at our ages were were both more than ready to settle down.

I was 23 and my ex was 30 when we married.  He had led a very sheltered background, by marrying me was breaking the "rules" his famiy had set,  I was not a "southern baptist gal from town".  His father had a had a mistress and others the whole 30 years of his marriage.  My ex learned to lead two lives by example, his career as a flight attendent helped this.  It was very odd marriage!!  I wrote before, he is very open and honest with me at this time in our lives, I think he will be the most honest  with me now, than he can ever be with another woman, unless she hires a detective like I did , sounds strange.  

My current husband was 29 and I was 28 when we met.  We are now 30 and 31, he always wanted a family, so it works out well.  My current husband treats my son by my former marriage with love and open arms.  He is much more hands on with my seven year old than his own father.  My ex is always there for our son, but children do not seem to be his "thing".  In fact, my ex is visiting in a few weeks and staying in our home.    
  

Lisa, I always love reading your posts. Especially when you talk about your relationship. Graham sounds so fabulous. Truely your soulmate. Where did you guys meet by the way? Was it an internet romance like most of us?

Also Britwife Im curious about your views as you are married to an American...how does he compare to the British men you have dated in the past?

I don't know if it's an American thing or not  but my husband is certainly more strong minded than most British guys I have come across and I like that and more than that, need that because I am very strong minded as well.  I had a couple of long term relationships before my husband, one was British and one was from New Zealand and I could walk all over them.  I feel my relationship with my husband is on a more equal footing.  I also find him more romantic than any of the others, but this could be because he has a strong creative side to him.

This may have had a lot to do w/the geographical area I was in - the West Coast - but the American men around there seemed REALLY hooked on some very high and uncompromising standards for what a woman had to be like before they'd deign to be in a committed relationship with her.  And it wasn't just looks - although that was an integral component.  They were basically looking for Jennifer Aniston - money, powerful position, looks, etc. 

It was a relief to come here and be able to be a 'real' woman.

My husband is from CA and he was trying to get away from all the plastic materialistic Jennifer Aniston types!

It was a relief to come here and be able to be a 'real' woman.

I love England. Its my home and Ill never again reside in the USA however I feel there is a helluva lot more pressure on women here.
Here if you are over a size 14 (US 10) you are considered "plus size". Ever see the Simply Be commercials..."for sizes 14+". My goal is to get down to a size 14 after having 4 kids!
Also I was recently browsing a catalog and see they dont have sizes larger than 14. What??
Another thing here is ageism. I heard a DJ on the radio refer to Anastasia as his ideal OLDER WOMAN. She was 28 at the time. If 28 is considered an older woman than I better request my bus pass now! Truth is if youre over 30 youre over the hill here.  

Hmm.  Must be a Scotland thing, b/c my experience has been the opposite.  Scotswomen just let it all hang out - literally - and are proud to be themselves.  It's really a refreshing change from the Denver scene!   

Hmm.  Must be a Scotland thing, b/c my experience has been the opposite.  Scotswomen just let it all hang out - literally - and are proud to be themselves.  It's really a refreshing change from the Denver scene!   

Maybe it is a Scotland thing.  (Thank heavens I'm headed for Scotland!)  I have a cousin who is my age who is funny, smart, intelligent, and fairly significantly overweight and has been all her life.  Her husband could be a model (if only he were a little taller).  He is really incredibly good looking.  You'd never see the two of them get together here...but I LOVE the fact that she is appreciated for the amazing person that she is and not judged by the extra pounds she carries around with her.

Forgive me in advance as this is bound to be a s-w-e-e-p-i-n-g generalization-type post.  Especially since I've had many more relationships with US men than UK men (ha! mAn). Anyway - what I've found most refreshing and what seems to be reflected in the lives of my friends as well, is the sense of  commitment to family UK men have. I find a very grounded and basic sense of "do what has to be done" in relation to family, especially spouses and children. 

Having said that ....my ex cleaned the bathroom religiously.

Graham sounds so fabulous. Truely your soulmate. Where did you guys meet by the way? Was it an internet romance like most of us?

I will tone down my gushing and try to give a sensible answer...only because I want to tell the truth and yet not give anyone the impression they have to have him too. 

The truth is, even after knowing him for 8.5 years, my stomach still jumps in sort of a butterfly kinda way when he enters the room. And even though there are times I get so incredibly frustrated (usually doing with a communication confusion), I could be so abolutely livid and still rush to his side with an "oh my gosh, are you okay?" caring if he stubbed his toe.

We didn't date online, except after we met, and then it was just a way to keep in touch. I only round-about-ly credit the Internet with our meeting. I came to England for a visit, and the whole thing was arranged through friends on the Internet. Graham was a friend of a friend I met during that 10-day trip.