Stupid questions

When Im asked where Im from my reply is "my mom and dad, you?" It usually gets a chuckle from the person/people asking me. Then I explain my whole life story from 2.5 years ago to the present. Of course I mostly get asked this at work and as Im a bar supervisor its a much more relaxed atmosphere to be glib in.

Better get used to it. It's part and parcel of not staying in one's hometown. I got this as southern boy in big old Chicago when I moved up there from MS, albeit on less of a scale than here. But then there are a few more differences here.

I was born here, raised in the US and been back 3 decades now.
I still get asked. My answers are not as straight forward as yours since I'm dual which yes that throws 'em a bit too. And yea it does get really old on some days but what can ya do? It's human nature to ask? We're all kind of curious. If you were in the middle of nowhere, USA and you heard a British accent,would you not ask something? I know I would. Do you think that if you did, it might be the 20th time that day they have some question/comment to them? I wouldn't even consider that I was the 20th person that day.

Mississippi is my home back home. I remember asking an Englishman living in Mississippi, what he is was doing there? Did he like it? I mean why on earth would anyone want to live in Mississippi when there is Florida so close. So I was genuinely interested. To me it was new. To him it was probably getting really old really quick.

I can fully understand people here asking. I mean come on, why would someone from a sunny & warm all-the-time country want to come to a dull dreich prehistoric country? Are you nuts? Why would someone want to come to a place that hasn't a scoobie when it comes to customer service? Man gas is so cheap, you got the best hospitals with no waiting lists, everybody gots at least 3 big Cadillacs or Mustangs, everybody has good teeth and on and on.

yea I can see why they wonder. They only see the surface. The grass is always greener...

3 ways out of this

1. learn to manage answers them, have a good natter, learn something different from them, teach them something new, enlighten them, maybe gain a friend.

2. Brush them off and well nobody gains

3. Move back and let DH become the receiver of those questions.

As for racism, don't think so. I ask Asian people I meet where they are from and why they are here. I have asked Africans as well as other Europeans. What's the big deal? I wouldn't ask an Asian with a Scottish accent these questions but I might ask them about their heritage. No big deal.

I totally agree that it's human nature to be curious, and that it comes with being an immigrant, but I can also see the OP's point that it can get old.  Most of the time I don't mind it but some days I just can't be bothered playing 20 questions.  Last Tuesday I had surgery.  I was in the freezing OR, on the table and waiting for the surgeon to come in.  I was a bit apprehensive and to be honest not in the mood for idle chit chat.  I had asked the anesthesiologist a question (related to the procedure) which she answered, and then followed up with "So, that's not a local accent.  What on Earth brought you here?"

Or just go back to being a hermit. But that doesn't avoid the checkout people.

That may be your best bet. You can always order groceries online.

That may be your best bet. You can always order groceries online.

LOL. seriously though. I loved ordering groceries online in the UK, especially without a car.

I will be interested to see how this plays out once I move.  I can be a bit snarky sometimes (not that anyone here would have noticed.....bwahahaha!!) so I'm sure I'll have my days where I'll just come up with a smarta$$ answer and keep it moving.  But overall, I'm already expecting to be asked 100 times everyday...so at least I've weighed the options before I move...and decided to accept it. 

I will be interested to see how this plays out once I move.  I can be a bit snarky sometimes (not that anyone here would have noticed.....bwahahaha!!) 

You? Snarky??? NEVER! 

I don't think it bothers me. Although most of the time people can't figure out where I'm from because my accent is such a mish-mash. And I do admit that if I hear someone with an American accent, I'm likely to ask them where they're from. It doesn't make me rude, intrusive or racist. Just curious.

There is nothing stupid or rude about asking where someone is from.  It's an ice breaker, a nice way of starting a conversation and getting to know someone.  Here in the UK where the Brits are known for being reserved I find it refreshing.  I've been an expat most of my life so could give a very long answer but I keep it short and sweet, no big deal.  I like that someone is interested.  What I found a lot more irritating is when I moved back to the US after high school and all of the explaining I had to do then.   Once people knew that I had gone to high school in Switzerland they no longer wanted to know, couldn't relate.  It got to the point that I would just excuse myself anytime the conversation to come around to high school.  I had to lock away all of those memories, all of those years I had lived overseas as nobody really wanted to know.  Not so here, that is one great big huge plus for living overseas.

When I hear a North American accent on people who don't seem to be tourists, I want to ask them questions, but I don't.

I wish I could pick up a British accent, not because I am ashamed of America or Americans, it just would make things go so much more smoothly.  Then there are situations that are very uncomfortable which seem to stem from my country of birth.  It ranges from the mild like some people complaining about the health and safety regulations, "it's because of all the lawsuits in America...no offence love," to the down right scary. Like when we were having my husband's hair cut at a middle eastern hairdresser.  Sometime during the haircut, the guy figured out I was an American and seemed to get angry.  Honestly, it wasn't open hostility, but the tension was there.  Normally, it wouldn't be any big thing, but he was using sharp implements near my husband.  Honestly, this is the only time I've ever had hostility from anyone that wasn't European based on my accent, so it surprised me. Usually, if people who seem to be from outside of Europe note it, it's always polite curiosity, and not the weird rantings this guy sort of went on.  We managed to get him on a more neutral subject, his kids.  

But overall, I hate when things are assumed of me because of where I am from.  I guess it's a part of being an immigrant.  Unfortunately, the bad experiences tend to stick out sometimes.

If it's just sick of explaining it, I guess I got over that after practically living in a cast the first 21 years of my life or so.  I think I am used to explaining things that strangers or people you barely know note about you.  People don't think when they see someone on crutches, with a weird accent, or whatever else that sets them apart that they might have had to explain that something a few times already...that day. I don't mind so much because I don't really mind being different as long as it doesn't lead to my husband getting his ear chopped off.

Like when we were having my husband's hair cut at a middle eastern hairdresser.  Sometime during the haircut, the guy figured out I was an American and seemed to get angry.  Honestly, it wasn't open hostility, but the tension was there.  Normally, it wouldn't be any big thing, but he was using sharp implements near my husband.  Honestly, this is the only time I've ever had hostility from anyone that wasn't European based on my accent, so it surprised me.

Funnily enough, when my US dentists/dental hygenist found out I was moving to the UK, they practically gave me the third degree and were much rougher than usual and were in a huff saying "I guess your husband makes a lot of money for you not work over here!" Actually, no he doesn't but we're not spendthrifts and we have no difficulties getting by, thanks, noseycow! I think someone doesn't like their job much...! Eesh.

I don't ask people about their accents because I do find it a bit rude and intrusive. I guess it's how I was brought up. Plus my family's from around Amish country in PA so every summer we'd go there and we'd happen to see people bothering the Amish, photoing them, petting their horses at the buggy stands outside of their nearest market etc so I do view that as kind of rude and intrusive. Maybe I should just pretend to be mute 

I don't really like ordering groceries online, I'd have to order quite a lot and for my health I think it's better if I walk the 1/4 mile to the store and 1/4 mile back with 20lbs of groceries in my backpack a couple times a weeks. And up to the 3rd(UK)/4th floor to our flat.

I've been here more or less 9 years. I was fine about being asked it at university but it's getting a bit old these past two weeks, either from checkout people or nosey people who see I mention I'm American on my photography website. In that context, I feel it shouldn't matter if I'm American or female but of course, the men think differently.

Also, funnily enough, I LIKE IT HERE, IT'S WARM!* No more sub-freezing New England winters or boiling summers for weeks on end for me. 18 years was enough for me.

*bonus points to those young enough or who watched enough nicklelodeon to remember where that is from.

Then there are situations that are very uncomfortable which seem to stem from my country of birth.  It ranges from the mild like some people complaining about the health and safety regulations, "it's because of all the lawsuits in America...no offence love," to the down right scary.

We got threatened on the train by a bunch of drunks who threatened to report us to immigration for a false marriage because they thought we sounded shady.  That wouldn't be the fact that you harassed people all the way from Kings Cross to Cambridge?  

My husband is now convinced, after our last trip to the states which involved a Civil War fort with no staff no lights and a warning to bring a flashlight, that all this H&S stuff is all based on rumors.  

It is as if the UK read some crazy articles from some stupid rag magazines and decided to act on them, when in reality these cases didn't amount to all that much.

When I hear a North American accent on people who don't seem to be tourists, I want to ask them questions, but I don't.

I don't ask people about their accents because I do find it a bit rude and intrusive. I guess it's how I was brought up.

This is the key point, IMO.  I am always curious about people when I hear French or interestingly-accented English, but I was brought up not to ask personal questions of people I don't know well, and definitely not of total strangers.  Just because I've moved to another country doesn't give people license to pry into my life.  People who ask "Why did you come here?" are particularly intrusive.  There's no simple answer to that question, and the complex answer is none of their business.  And "Do you like it here" is such a non-question.  Like I'm going to confide to a stranger, who's from 'here,' that I hate everything about the place.  Seriously. 

I appreciate that some people are genuinely curious, and in an appropriate social setting I don't mind the questions, they're better than run-of-the-mill small talk.  But when supermarket clerks and waitresses and people standing behind me in a queue ask them, I really do think that's rude and inappropriate.  They don't even know my name, what makes them think it's OK to interrogate me?   

This is the key point, IMO.  I am always curious about people when I hear French or interestingly-accented English, but I was brought up not to ask personal questions of people I don't know well

I think it's a difference of interpretation. I don't see those as "personal" questions.

And "Do you like it here" is such a non-question.  Like I'm going to confide to a stranger, who's from 'here,' that I hate everything about the place.  Seriously.  

I think it's small talk - people saying something for lack of anything else to say. They're not really asking for you to confide in them and would probably be quite taken aback if you did. When someone asks, "How are you?" you don't give them a full-blown rundown of everything in your life. It's just a question. Taken literally, it may even be seen as intrusive, but it's just people being polite and showing an interest.

This may be the minority opinion, but I don't think someone asking where I'm from is the least bit intrusive.

If you don't like the questions that people are asking you, just pretend your phone is ringing, or excuse yourself politely. Or...LIE.

I agree with others, people are genuinely interested and probably don't have bad intentions when asking genuine questions.