A lot of my negativity could also be a form of transference. My husband's relatives have a passive-aggressive way of insulting the US and our American-ness at almost every turn it seems, but I can't call them out on it because what's the point of stirring up trouble. Plus my husband thinks it's all in my head and it's just the way they like to joke around. Like the way a couple of his relatives repeat certain words we say (in a mocking way, which is difficult to explain in writing). Yet we say nothing at all about the way they pronounce words like pasta, for example. They pronounce it like I imagine Shawn the Sheep would. Paaassta. I say pahsta, rhymes with BASTA! lol.
Oh, I had my husband's uncle give me sh*t for how I said "Thank you for inviting us," to his son's wedding. I wasn't in the best place at the time and I was absolutely crushed. I can still here how he said it 3.5 years on a d it makes my blood boil.
But, after 4 years (and realising I can suffer from depression and a course or two of antidepressants) I'm happy and I really like it here.