Is it normal to panic?

Hi Everyone~

I'm planning on moving to Scotland in about a year's time, and am so very excited to finally be with my fiance permanently.  As we're going through the wedding plans, and I'm talking to my mom on a much more regular basis, I'm feeling waves of sadness and fear come over me.  Don't get me wrong, I am so happy and excited, but I'm also really sad and almost feeling guilty about leaving my family.

I hardly see my family, as I go to school about 6 hours away...so I only go home at the extended breaks.  I think it's just finally starting to set in that I'm *really* going to move away.  That I'm really leaving all the people and things I love here.  I'm not really doubting my decision to go over there, as I'm happy there and feel very at home there.  I'm just wondering if this is normal?  I'm finding it harder and harder to be excited about a wedding when I know that it will also essentially be a going-away party.

Has anyone else felt this or am I just weird?  How can I be on cloud nine one second and down in the dumps the next???  I know that I'll get to come home at least once a year as well, so that's helping me realize that I'm not really going away forever or anything...just guess I'm panicking about the reality of it all.  It's not that I was in denial or didn't realize what I was getting myself into, it's just that I never really thought about how it would affect like my mom and other family members.  They seem to be ok with it now, but I can't help but think that I'm breaking their hearts deep down.

Any advice?  Sorry if I posted this in the wrong section, feel free to move it if it fits better somewhere else.

I think panic is perfectly normal. I did have bouts of it before I moved but it was quickly overshadowed by the sheer joy of knowing I'd finally be with the love of my life. That and I was in serious need of a change of scenery anyway.

I was close to my parents but never really visited much. And most of my closest friends had alread moved away (and some of the others who were still around disappointed me a bit but that's another matter entirely). So while I was sad and scared to be leaving them all behind, they've all surprisingly somehow been able to manage without me!   I know my mom was(is) really sad that I'm so far away but I know she is very happy that I'm finally happy and we actually talk on the phone more now than when I was in the US!  

So I think it's all very natural to feel what you feel, imo. Your life is yours and you need to look forward towards what brings you the most happiness. That may sound harsh or selfish but I'm sure your family and friends really do want you to be happy. If that means moving away from them then so be it. It just means a cheap overseas holiday for them when they come visit!

Hope that helps some. It will really be okay.  

You are SO normal! Promise! Cross my heart!
Making the decision to pick up everything, completely change everything about the way you live, remove yourself from your comfort zone and your comfort country, making the decision to inject yourself with a new culture, purposefully put yourself in a completely new situations in which you know you'll feel at times helpless and at times exhilarated...

yeah, it's a bit scary to say the least!
Panic is normal.
You're not alone... but you also won't be alone when you make the move and end up being ok...

Has anyone else felt this or am I just weird?  

Oh Krissy!   Yes girl! You are normal! It is such a BIG move - not to be taken lightly! When I think back on the things I did to prepare myself for this move, I am simply amazed! I survived - and you will too!

Hiya Krissy - I never gets easier to leave home. Ive been in the UK now living very happily with my husband for 2 and a half years now and still I cry when I leave my mom and grandparents behind every time I visit. I guess you just get a bit more used to it and learn to cope with the emotion better.

When I first moved to the UK I didnt drive (still dont), didnt work, and didnt go to school. I didnt have any friends or means of making friends. The transition was very difficult for me and for a while I was quite depressed. I think everyone goes though a phase like that and to this day Im sure we all miss home regularly. Its also not unusual to sometimes feel a bit of resentment about being the one to have to move to a different country. The depression, sadness and resentment passes when you start to slip into your daily routine. To echo everyone else - its perfectly normal to feel the way you do and eventually months will go by without having a Peanutbutter Cup Craving

Best wishes on your move and wedding,
Sarah

I know the feeling!  When i first got engaged i had SO many emotions.  Happiness.  Elation.  Scardy-Catness!  I had to deal with the fact that my single life would now be offically over and that I am marrying someone from another country, making holidays and vacations a lot more intense now.

Now i'm moving there in September and yeah, i get freaked!  His family and friends are so awesome.  I know i'll be ok finding a job, and may get a transfer through work.  It won't be permanent (2-3 years) but it still freaks me out!  I'm excited and scared all at once, leaving what i've known all my life to join my future hubby in his life for a while!

We'll get through it.  So many people deal with getting married and relocating in different ways.  For me the goods FAR outweigh the bads, and to be with David for good....that's the best gift of all.

Good luck!

Yes, it's completely normal!  We've all felt those conflicting feelings and it isn't easy at all.  But once you get here, it really will make it all that much more worth it.  You tend to really value things you had to work hard to get....and a life here is one of the hardest things I've ever had to work for, no doubt about it!  

Just keep breathing....it'll be okay!  

 Nothing to add hon but yes you are normal in feeling scared and your emotions taking a rollercoaster ride.We all have at one time or the other in life thats for sure!

 Oh and a big   Krissy

    Hmmm got that homework done yet ?

Thanks for all of your support and reassurances.  I am feeling a lot more relieved and confident about the move, although I know it'll be a long haul through the emotions and pure hassles of it all.  You've all been a big help so far, and I'm sure I'll be pestering you for tons more help as the move gets closer...lol.

Rhia~  No, I don't have that homework done yet, Miss Smartypants!!!  hehehe

One thing that I found is that I actually saw my family more after I moved over here. When in the US, the fact they were there was almost taken for granted, but now we make a point to get together. If it's not me there, it's them here. Take this July for instance, my brother, his wife, my other brother, his wife, my sister, her son, a friend of hers...we're all meeting up in Italy!

So, while it's very very normal to feel scared out of your wits at the unknown, you may find that once you're here, it falls so much more into place than you ever figured.

Rhia~  No, I don't have that homework done yet, Miss Smartypants!!!   hehehe

   hehehehe  

If you didn't feel this way, you wouldn't be really doing it you'd only be going thru the motions. You're human & it's part of the package. As far as being on cloud 9 one minute then in the dumps the next, Get used to it, it's only just begun!
But aren't rollercoasters better than merry go rounds?

krissy - i know exactly what you are going through.  im SO happy about my future - being with the one i love and living in london and really starting to honestly live my life.
but yet, i had to struggle to stop myself from crying at least three different times at work today.  Im SO sad to leave my family, but as Lisa said about seeing her family more - i hope that is what will happen.  my DF and i had talked of our future crazy trips around europe on holidays, but now that the reality is setting in, yes that may happen, but our priority is visiting my family, at least for the first year.  AND its a great excuse for family and friends to go on holiday through europe and then meeting up somewhere along the way!

Im not so much panicing, but I know the up and down WELL.  My DF and i both feel weird that we arn't constantly elated, but feel really sad about a lot of different things - we both feel unmotivated and almost lifeless apart.  The time isn't passing quick enough.

There are so many HARD emotional things - dealing with leaving family and friends, trying to plan a wedding, visas, moving, EVERYTHING is so hard, and it is even harder when you have to be apart from the one you love when you go through this crazy ride.  my beau and i were commenting out much of an ugly catch 22 it is - we have to go through this chaotic and tormoil filled times and experiences so we CAN be together, but then are 10 times worse going through them apart.  we struggle through these terrible times so that the next time we have troubles or joy we can share them and work through them together.

we just need to hang in there and make it happen and it will all be worth it once you get off that plane for good and you don't have to say goodbye again.  these troubles will seem like another lifetime.

Ahhhhhh!

amusingly i wrote in my last post that i wasn't panicing, but NOW im panicing!!  eeeekkk!

i got my visa today and though i was dead set in all of this before, now that i have that sticker in my passport, it really seems 100% real!

Im so excited, but now for the first time i have big old butterflies in my stomach! <flutter flutter>
I have three weeks of work left, a four day weekend off, then im outta here!  Im already far away from most of my family, except for my mom, who i live with, but just the enormity of the idea of arriving in London to LIVE is shocking!

i knew this before, but now its REALLY hit me - the visa was the easy part - now its time for fast paced chaos!  planning, packing, organizing belongings and finances and addresses, arriving in London, finding a flat, planning a wedding, getting another visa, finding a job...ahhhhh!

im so happy but now im overwhelmed because this is just the beginnning of the really hard part of trying to get settled that will take at the very least to become settled in the most basic sense (place to live, bank accounts, job) three months.

Ahhhhhh!

amusingly i wrote in my last post that i wasn't panicing, but NOW im panicing!!  eeeekkk!

i got my visa today and though i was dead set in all of this before, now that i have that sticker in my passport, it really seems 100% real!

Im so excited, but now for the first time i have big old butterflies in my stomach! <flutter flutter>
I have three weeks of work left, a four day weekend off, then im outta here!  Im already far away from most of my family, except for my mom, who i live with, but just the enormity of the idea of arriving in London to LIVE is shocking!

i knew this before, but now its REALLY hit me - the visa was the easy part - now its time for fast paced chaos!  planning, packing, organizing belongings and finances and addresses, arriving in London, finding a flat, planning a wedding, getting another visa, finding a job...ahhhhh!

im so happy but now im overwhelmed because this is just the beginnning of the really hard part of trying to get settled that will take at the very least to become settled in the most basic sense (place to live, bank accounts, job) three months.

Awwww  At least it's something GOOD to panic about.. not that saying that helps lessen any of it!  It must be exciting and scary at the same time.  Try to take things one day at a time and enjoy this part of it.. because once it's gone, you'll probably look back at it with fondness of 'setting out on a new adventure.'  If there's any way we can help, let us know.  Best of luck to you  And don't forget to breathe along the way