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Topic: Couple confusion  (Read 562 times)

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Couple confusion
« on: February 14, 2006, 01:38:40 AM »
Hello folks,

I wonder if someone would be kind enough to spare a few minutes of their time to help shed some light on an otherwise confusing and frustrating situation.  My apologies for the verbosity you are about to receive, I tend to babble ;)

A few months ago, I met the most amazing woman.  She captured my heart the moment I laid eyes on her, and as we started to talk, we found ourselves falling head over heels for each other.  And then I found out she only had 12 months to live.  She has Lupus you see.  Lupus is a complicated and mysterious condition which meant her immune system was killing her slowly as we were falling in love, and so in desperation we made blind plans to just up and leave and deal with technicalities as they come so that we could spend her remaining time together.  It's so true that love can touch people in ways that cannot be explained.  After receiving the results of some tests, we learned that the Lupus had gone into remission, and she was no longer in danger.  We couldn't wipe the smiles off our faces for weeks, but we're still just as desperate to be together.  We've changed each other's lives permanently and we'll do absolutely anything.  We need to figure this out, but it's difficult to decide what the best course of action is.  So much information, but I still don't know what to do with it.  I need help before I explode with frustration.

There are complications.  I've been through visa documentation until it's pouring out of my ears, but I can't see a clear path through this.  I'm hoping that if I share this, that some kind soul will lend me a few minutes of their time.

Ultimately we need to reside in the UK as I have children, and I couldn't move away permanently.  I am prepared to live in the USA temporarily, and travel back periodically, but I will need to work (I am a skilled IT creative/professional, but I will do absolutely anything).  I should also mention that we haven't yet met face to face.  My biggest sticking point right now is that we need to have lived together for 2 years in order to qualify for a partner visa, but how are you supposed to live together if you can't even be together for more than 6 months at a time?

Are we supposed to live 6 months here, 6 months there and repeat as nescessary?  What about living in another country?  Will I be able to work in the states?  So many questions I've tried to find the answers to, but keep falling foul of woods-for-the-trees syndrome.

What do we do?

I'm happy to discuss this publicly, or on MSN if it's easier.

Thankyou in advance

P.S. It's been lovely to read some of the messages on this forum, it's very encouraging to see that so many people have been able to bring their lives together, and that there are so many supportive people willing to help them do that.  It's nice to find little bubbles of real people on the internet :)
« Last Edit: February 14, 2006, 01:42:34 AM by cliffstah »


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Re: Couple confusion
« Reply #1 on: February 14, 2006, 01:49:13 AM »
Is there anyway to arrange a visit?  This way you can meet face to face, then make some important decisions. 


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Re: Couple confusion
« Reply #2 on: February 14, 2006, 01:58:54 AM »
Have her come here to visit, for starters.


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Re: Couple confusion
« Reply #3 on: February 14, 2006, 02:04:12 AM »
We could arrange a visit, yes.  I can't bear the thought of being with her and then having to leave again, but it's possible.  But I'm not sure how to interpret "important decisions" .. do you mean to decide whether we're serious about each other?


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Re: Couple confusion
« Reply #4 on: February 14, 2006, 02:08:46 AM »
I mean what path to take concerning visas.  There is the fiance visa, marriage visa or taking turns visiting one another, while staying within the allowable time.


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Re: Couple confusion
« Reply #5 on: February 14, 2006, 02:13:41 AM »
I see, thanks for claryifying :)  And for those points too .. we're talking about this as we speak.  And thank you so much for your help :)


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Re: Couple confusion
« Reply #6 on: February 14, 2006, 02:15:10 AM »
Good Luck to you both :)


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Re: Couple confusion
« Reply #7 on: February 14, 2006, 03:22:45 PM »
as I am in a similar situation having met the man of my dreams whilst in tyhe UK visiting another female friend and touring around, I really feel for anyone facing the complications of legally being allowed to be with the person you love...
It is frustrating and confusing, but the folks on here are full of advicv and answers...

best wishes to you both


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