Me

That's such brilliant news, KFD.  I'm just so impressed at how very efficient the treatment has been. Keep up the good work! 

That's such brilliant news, KFD.  I'm just so impressed at how very efficient the treatment has been. Keep up the good work! 

Especially considering I use NHS for the pleural effusion and private for oncology. My oncologist works 50% at RBH/50% at the private hospital which helps.  And they share systems so if something is done at one hospital, the other can access it. 

But no doubt, been super impressed from start to finish.  My mom keeps commenting that she thinks we are light years ahead of the USA for medical.  I don’t think we are, but we definitely have MUCH better continuity of care in most circumstances.  My parents go to all sorts of specialists but I don’t think they talk together.  Whereas we have the weekly Medical Review Boards where all the various departments talk about the best plan forward.

I forgot to have my husband bring chapstick when I was admitted to the hospital last week.  My mom suggested asking for some and sure enough, they had something.  My mom said “just don’t look at your bill to see how much it cost”. I was like “no bill, my tax money at work”.

I do love that it doesn’t matter if you are homeless or a millionaire, you get care.

Today has been a hard day.  Nothing crazy or concerning, just hate all of this.

I know we all have a timer floating above our heads.  I just wish I didn’t realise mine has a limited time on it.  No matter what milestone I put in, it’s not enough.

1.  I want my kids to remember me
2.  When really I want to see them through to adults
3.  But really I want to be around to be unconditional support for whatever path their life gives them.
4.  I want my husband and I to grow old together and have the option of 6 months U.S.A. and 6 months in the UK.

Cancer sucks. Don’t get it. And if you DO get it, it it out early so you can have surgery and just remove it. 

Two years of Covid and now this.  Will I ever get joy from life again?  I sure hope so.

Today has been a hard day.  Nothing crazy or concerning, just hate all of this.

I know we all have a timer floating above our heads.  I just wish I didn’t realise mine has a limited time on it.  No matter what milestone I put in, it’s not enough.

1.  I want my kids to remember me
2.  When really I want to see them through to adults
3.  But really I want to be around to be unconditional support for whatever path their life gives them.
4.  I want my husband and I to grow old together and have the option of 6 months U.S.A. and 6 months in the UK.

Cancer sucks. Don’t get it. And if you DO get it, it it out early so you can have surgery and just remove it. 

Two years of Covid and now this.  Will I ever get joy from life again?  I sure hope so.

Oh honey, I so get it.  Even if found early and removed, it hangs over you like a dark cloud.  Keeps you awake in the wee hours.  Though I got lucky, nothing is the same as before.  I have a 12% chance of it coming back and that chance increases every year.  Easy breast cancer doesn’t exist.

It’s okay to have dark thoughts.  And to express them to those you love.  The stuff comes up when you least expect it, but becomes lessened by not holding it in.  So please, you don’t have to put on a brave face 24/7 with me.

Hugs.

Oh honey, I so get it.  Even if found early and removed, it hangs over you like a dark cloud.  Keeps you awake in the wee hours.  Though I got lucky, nothing is the same as before.  I have a 12% chance of it coming back and that chance increases every year.  Easy breast cancer doesn’t exist.

It’s okay to have dark thoughts.  And to express them to those you love.  The stuff comes up when you least expect it, but becomes lessened by not holding it in.  So please, you don’t have to put on a brave face 24/7 with me.

Hugs.

Oh Katoo, what a sweet, kind message.  I hope you know I don't think for one SECOND, that you have an easy journey.  I hope I haven't minimized your journey in any way.  I'm just a big ball of emotions.  Not just cancer, but being shot straight into menopause. 

I met with my "cancer buddy" (the other mom in my daughter's class) last week.  I had been asking about her mastectomy as it's something I'm considering asking for  post-chemo.  I have always known it's one of the most brutal surgeries that exist but really talking to someone first hand.  WOW.  She had her surgery in May and still has many many areas of numbness and there are way more complications to take into account than I had considered.  I'm sure, when this first line of treatment is complete (chemo), I'll follow the doctors advice about next steps.  If I don't opt for a mastectomy and had recurrence in the breast, I'd be SO angry with myself.  Yet, I know my oncologist said there is no clear answer for surgery when the cancer has already spread. 

Ugh, I miss my old simple life.  Cancer is a full time job!  Not nearly as rewarding as being a parent!

Oh Katoo, what a sweet, kind message.  I hope you know I don't think for one SECOND, that you have an easy journey.  I hope I haven't minimized your journey in any way.  I'm just a big ball of emotions.  Not just cancer, but being shot straight into menopause. 

I met with my "cancer buddy" (the other mom in my daughter's class) last week.  I had been asking about her mastectomy as it's something I'm considering asking for  post-chemo.  I have always known it's one of the most brutal surgeries that exist but really talking to someone first hand.  WOW.  She had her surgery in May and still has many many areas of numbness and there are way more complications to take into account than I had considered.  I'm sure, when this first line of treatment is complete (chemo), I'll follow the doctors advice about next steps.  If I don't opt for a mastectomy and had recurrence in the breast, I'd be SO angry with myself.  Yet, I know my oncologist said there is no clear answer for surgery when the cancer has already spread. 

Ugh, I miss my old simple life.  Cancer is a full time job!  Not nearly as rewarding as being a parent!

Yeah, I’m still numb.  Have zero sensation from my breast through my belly where they took my fat to use as filler.  I’m still sunburned from the radiation and still quite fatigued.  I was supposed to have a follow up phone appointment from my oncologist which he canceled and changed to a face-to-face and wants me to meet him at the chemotherapy unit.  Scares the hell out of me, because one evening during radiation, it took a lot longer than normal.  When I asked why, they said my oncologist had asked for detailed scans of the left side.  It just doesn’t end.  There’s always some strange ball of worry rattling around like a ping pong ball.

Yeah, I’m still numb.  Have zero sensation from my breast through my belly where they took my fat to use as filler.  I’m still sunburned from the radiation and still quite fatigued.  I was supposed to have a follow up phone appointment from my oncologist which he canceled and changed to a face-to-face and wants me to meet him at the chemotherapy unit.  Scares the hell out of me, because one evening during radiation, it took a lot longer than normal.  When I asked why, they said my oncologist had asked for detailed scans of the left side.  It just doesn’t end.  There’s always some strange ball of worry rattling around like a ping pong ball.

Ugh, my cancer buddy’s story was not fun.  Hers kept going from being early, neat and tidy to more complex.  No journey is fun, is it? 

If they do want to talk to you about doing chemo, let me know. Hopefully I can provide reassurance and not scaremongering.

My buddy went from noticing one boob “turned” when she had her hands pulling her hair into a ponytail while looking in a mirror. Her mother had breast cancer, so she called straight away. Nothing showed on a mammogram but they did an ultrasound. Biopsied, it was cancer, so they booked her in for surgery. She was told she wouldn’t need chemo, just surgery and radiation. She opted for a double mastectomy due to family history.

Surgery day came, they removed lymph nodes first as her surgery was 6 hours. Before they finished the surgery, a lymph node had cancer present, so they removed all of her lymph nodes.  They removed the non-cancerous breast and found cancer - a DIFFERENT TYPE OF CANCER.  So two breasts, two different cancers, and lymph nodes.

She is having 6 rounds of chemo also. Three of one type, 3 of the chemo I get. Then she’ll have radiation and finally reconstructive surgery.  She started in May.  And they didn’t quite get the margins they wanted, so there’s that too.

Very different journey to mine, but her punches just kept coming.  Whereas mine was diagnosed from the fluid and we knew it was bad from the start, just needed to learn what, if any, treatments were available.  Thankfully my cancer type is very treatable.  We will know next week if I’m responding and if so, how well. 

Today has been a hard day.  Nothing crazy or concerning, just hate all of this.

I know we all have a timer floating above our heads.  I just wish I didn’t realise mine has a limited time on it.  No matter what milestone I put in, it’s not enough.

1.  I want my kids to remember me
2.  When really I want to see them through to adults
3.  But really I want to be around to be unconditional support for whatever path their life gives them.
4.  I want my husband and I to grow old together and have the option of 6 months U.S.A. and 6 months in the UK.

Cancer sucks. Don’t get it. And if you DO get it, it it out early so you can have surgery and just remove it. 

Two years of Covid and now this.  Will I ever get joy from life again?  I sure hope so.

Lots of love to you!!!

Thinking of you every day KFD xx

Much better mentally this week.  Basically “woke up” Saturday and have been much better.  It’s that first week when I go places I shouldn’t mentally. 

But screw anyone who thinks one can be positive 100% of the time when dealing with cancer and all “the joys” it brings.

Thinking of you today KFdancer!

Thank you.  Hoping for a fantastic update for you all!

Thank you.  Hoping for a fantastic update for you all!

Fingers, toes and everything else crossed for you!  Surely an appointment on Thanksgiving is a good omen!

Overall a very good news update.

My oncologist said everything looks much better and that I'm responding well to treatment.  The ultrasound of my breast, where it all started, the tumour has shrunk significantly.  And my liver and bones are both much better than my first scan.  She is referring me to an orthopedic for my spine as the cancer had broken down some of the spine pretty significantly prior to treatment, but they have treatments that can improve that. 

I asked about having 8 rounds of chemo versus 6 and she said that when you hear of people having more than 6 rounds, it's due to money.  That 8 rounds don't work better than 6 rounds.  She also emphasized that most of my benefit is coming from the targeted injection I get every 3 weeks and that will continue (for life) after I stop chemo. 

I asked if I'm allowed to be optimistic about my future and she said "Absolutely!"  Genuinely the call couldn't have been better.  I could hear in her voice that she was very happy and she has no concerns. 

Afterwards, my parents suggested we go to lunch to celebrate and I had a little cry.  As I find it hard to celebrate cancer.  But I literally put my big girl pants on and we went out and I'm so glad we did. 

Back in the chemo chair tomorrow and just hoping for miracles that the treatment just eradicates this disease from my body.  Gotta aim high!

Thank you all for your continued support.  It's been my best Thanksgiving, as I have something to truly be grateful for.  I've always been grateful for my life and the people in it.  But September 7th was a day that changed me forever and I'll never look at life the same. 

Overall a very good news update.

My oncologist said everything looks much better and that I'm responding well to treatment.  The ultrasound of my breast, where it all started, the tumour has shrunk significantly.  And my liver and bones are both much better than my first scan.  She is referring me to an orthopedic for my spine as the cancer had broken down some of the spine pretty significantly prior to treatment, but they have treatments that can improve that. 

I asked about having 8 rounds of chemo versus 6 and she said that when you hear of people having more than 6 rounds, it's due to money.  That 8 rounds don't work better than 6 rounds.  She also emphasized that most of my benefit is coming from the targeted injection I get every 3 weeks and that will continue (for life) after I stop chemo. 

I asked if I'm allowed to be optimistic about my future and she said "Absolutely!"  Genuinely the call couldn't have been better.  I could hear in her voice that she was very happy and she has no concerns. 

Afterwards, my parents suggested we go to lunch to celebrate and I had a little cry.  As I find it hard to celebrate cancer.  But I literally put my big girl pants on and we went out and I'm so glad we did. 

Back in the chemo chair tomorrow and just hoping for miracles that the treatment just eradicates this disease from my body.  Gotta aim high!

Thank you all for your continued support.  It's been my best Thanksgiving, as I have something to truly be grateful for.  I've always been grateful for my life and the people in it.  But September 7th was a day that changed me forever and I'll never look at life the same.

Fantastic news! SO happy to hear such a great report.