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Topic: Mrs. and Ms.  (Read 1838 times)

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Mrs. and Ms.
« on: June 21, 2005, 11:20:11 PM »
Since I got married on 11 June, I've been using my married name for social things and my maiden name for legal things.  When I received my LTR, in my maiden name, I was given a letter explaining the conditions of the leave. The letter was addressed to Mrs. Maidenname. The interviewer was aware that I was using my maiden name.

I thought I was Mrs. Husband'ssurname but Ms. Maidenname.  Mrs. Maidenname sounds to me like I married my father.

Which is the proper title?


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Re: Mrs. and Ms.
« Reply #1 on: June 22, 2005, 01:08:23 AM »
I believe you are correct: 

Mrs. Husband'sSurname
Ms. MaidenName

But technically I think you should pick a name and stick with it, but that's my own two pennies.   ;)  For so many reasons that I'm sure you will encounter.  Life could get very complicated trying to manage two names.  But good luck with that!  :)

~Liza
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Re: Mrs. and Ms.
« Reply #2 on: June 22, 2005, 07:34:35 AM »
I know lots of women who use one name socially and another professionally. Particularly women who had successful careers before they were married. It doesn't seem to cause them any problems.


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Re: Mrs. and Ms.
« Reply #3 on: June 22, 2005, 09:50:54 AM »
I also use both names (Maiden name for legal/business, Married for social) and occasionally get the Mrs. Maiden-name thing too.  Of course, the really funny thing is when people who have only ever known me, meet my husband for the first time and address him as Mr. MY Maiden name.  :lol:

But yes, you're right it's Mrs. Marriedname and Ms. Maidenname.


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Re: Mrs. and Ms.
« Reply #4 on: June 22, 2005, 10:22:24 AM »
The Home Office is just silly like that - my letter was addressed "Mrs Maidenname," too.  ::)
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Re: Mrs. and Ms.
« Reply #5 on: June 22, 2005, 11:57:42 AM »
Strange...I seem to be the only one to whom the Consulate placed my spousal visa in my married name.  I was prepared (than even though I had had my passport ammended with that little thing they put in the back, which states your name has been changed from so and so to such and such) that they would most likely still put my visa in my maiden (or in my case, my EX-married) name.  Not that I'm bothered...it's just that everywhere I go when I use my passport and visa for ID or legal reasons I have to carry my marriage certificate with me.

But..that being said, I NEVER intended (or ever intend) by going by anything other than my MARRIED name.
I was born in the Summer and at Night...my mother named me AUTUMN DAWN.  True story.

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Re: Mrs. and Ms.
« Reply #6 on: June 22, 2005, 12:05:02 PM »
This wasn't a visa or anything.  This is the letter they print out if you get your FLR here in the UK - they give you a letter telling you all sorts of "dos and don'ts" now that you have FLR/LLR.  You get one with ILR as well.  It's just the letter that's messed up.  When I got FLR, it was simply a black rubber stamp with an expiry date written in.  :P
"Beer is proof that God loves us and wants us to be happy."

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Re: Mrs. and Ms.
« Reply #7 on: June 22, 2005, 12:09:22 PM »
I used both names for a while, but I actually did think it was a bit of a drag so I've been changing everything to my married name. Not to mention expensive - we had to pay Royal Mail for forwarding to our new house because only 2 names are free and I was still getting post in my maiden name. I changed my social security number on my last trip to the US - on the next trip I'll do my driver's license, and then sometime after that (when I know I won't need my passport for a while) I'll ammend my passport. I'll be SO happy when I don't have to show my marriage license anymore to prove I am who I say I am!!!

And etiquette aside, I've noticed that "Ms" really isn't used much at all in the UK - everything appears to be either Mrs or Miss.


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Re: Mrs. and Ms.
« Reply #8 on: June 22, 2005, 12:24:41 PM »
They addressed by my FLR and ILR in my married name.  Then again, that was back in the days when you didn't have to pay for them.  Perhaps all this concentration on money matters has addled their collective brains.   ::)
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Re: Mrs. and Ms.
« Reply #9 on: June 22, 2005, 12:26:17 PM »
They addressed by my FLR and ILR in my married name.  Then again, that was back in the days when you didn't have to pay for them.  Perhaps all this concentration on money matters has addled their collective brains.   ::)

LOL.  It must have, it must have.  The love of money has befuddled the great-collective.
I was born in the Summer and at Night...my mother named me AUTUMN DAWN.  True story.

Jamie's...beyond the stars and past eternity.

EMAIL or PM me for information about gigs or about booking me (solo gig) or the band.



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Re: Mrs. and Ms.
« Reply #10 on: June 27, 2005, 09:20:05 AM »
I was going to change my name legally after I got a job, but now I really like being Ms. Maidenname when dealing with legal/financial/professional things.

I like being Mrs. Husband when we're entertaining guests or going out together, but when discussing things like my work experience or my own financial resources, it makes me feel better to have that historical connection.  Maybe it's because I got married late in life (39), have been working since my late teens, have had my own bank account since I was a child and have supported myself since my early 20's.  And now that I'm temporarily not working, I'm living off of my money and my family's money; I'm not depending on my husband at all, so financially speaking only, I feel more like my surname should be my father's.

This is just how I feel personally. I still may change it after all. I don't know.




« Last Edit: June 27, 2005, 09:27:46 AM by sweetpeach »


Re: Mrs. and Ms.
« Reply #11 on: July 04, 2005, 08:00:28 PM »
LOL.  It must have, it must have.  The love of money has befuddled the great-collective.

yeah I'm finding it real hard paying all these fees, especially when I just graduated college and moved straight over here to get married.  I have to pay 335 pounds to do the FLR by mail but the funny thing is I can't work on the fiance visa, so I don't know how I'm supposed to pay these silly fees.  It seems quite ridiculous!  Especially to pay the same amount again in two years time!!!


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