Question for those with hyphenated surnames

Do you have a problem with your hyphenated surname being too long, and having to choose between either your maiden name or your husband's name anyway?

I have a married coworker who is Greek. In Greece, when a woman marries, she can't take her husband's name; she has to either keep her maiden  name or hyphenate (different rules for different countries.) So she has hyphenated, and is legally Mrs. Maidenname-husbandsname.  However, whenever she fills out a form or types her name in a computer,  there's never room for both names, so she is known everywhere as just Mrs. Maidenname because she gets cut off before she can write the second half of the name.

So, even though I think hyphenating might be a  good choice for me, I'm wondering if it is even worth the bother because I'll have to pick one name or the other when filling in a form.  For example, my maiden name has 8 letters, but when I type it in to my computer at work as a user ID, I leave off the last letter because there's only room for 7. There's no way I would be able to fit my maiden name and my future husband's.

Have you thought about officially changing your middle name to your maiden name, and your last to your husband's?  It's what I've done.  My maiden name was 9 letters long, so adding anything to that would have been a pain in the butt.  This way my last name will fit on those silly forms, but I can use all three for everything else.  You can even keep your current middle name and add the other so you have two (if you don't want to lose it).

Just a thought.

Kristen comes with a pre-hyphenated name.  He says that it's not confusing, but he went by twi different names while in school which confused his teachers.  He only goes by one usually, but all his legal docs are in both.

Not quite the same, but I thought it might help

I'm in the process of switching over to a hyphenated name of 7 and 8 letters. It's a bit of a mouthful so I've dithered on this for quite a while. I finally decided that I just didn't care if having a lengthy name disrupts the status quo. People in other countries have far more difficult hyphenated names and it's time folks get used to it here and in the US. I'm probably going to be a real pain about it! 

As for forms and stuff, I haven't filled enough out yet but will take each example on it's own. For example, if a passport application wasn't long enough, obviously I'd have to let them know. But if it's just for a computer password, I'd take the shortened version. Simply because I've even known people with names shorter than 8 letters that aren't hyphenated who endure this as well.

And the reality is that the hyphenated name is th legal one. But professionally I'll use just the maiden name - except for on payroll type stuff.

I'm not really concerned about a computer password, but things like passport, driving license, bank book. My thinking is that if I call myself Sweetpeach Smith-Jones, people are going to call me either Miss Smith or Miss Jones, so perhaps I might as well pick one or the other?

The same goes for changing my maiden name to my middle name. People rarely identify you by your middle name, so I would still be known as Mrs. Husband'slastname.

In other words, is there a practical (rather than an ethical) advantage to hyphenating the name?

That is a good point about changing the middle name.  I suppose it all depends on how much you feel like pointing it out and correcting people.

As for no one referring to you with your hyphenated name, you may have that problem with people who already know you.  People who haven't yet met you will most likely refer to you with both names if that's how you introduce yourself.  Not that this is the best example in the world, but people always refer to Catharine Zeta-Jones (granted, not always favorably!).

It all comes down to how important it is to you.  My maiden name was long and sort of hard to say but it didn't bother me when people misspelled or mispronounced it.  I have a friend who gets very touchy if her last name is misspelled or mispronounced, and is quick to correct anyone who does.

You should do what will make you happy.  Everyone else can just learn to deal with it.

Sorry, done with my rant.

I agree it's my decison. But Catherine's hyphenated name has three syllables. Mine would have five syllables. Quite a mouthful.

I go by Lola Maiden Married (no hyphen  ).  It's six syllables (2, 1, 3) and sounds okay.  What's the rhythm of yours, sweetpeach?  Maybe it just sounds odd to you because it's new -- mine sounded weird to me for a while and only started to sound right once I had repeated it A LOT.  Perhaps it's just a matter of getting used to it?

I'm trying to think of someone who has a five syllable last name . . . Lawrence Llewellen Bowen (sp?) and Tara Palmer Tompkinson come to mind.  Their names don't sound too weird.

Mine is 2 syllables and three (plus my 2 syllable first name)... though the 3 syllable one isn't strong... it's got a soft 'e' in it like Widdecombe (wid -eh-comb) and is often slurred by some people who have this name. The larger problem is that despite being 2 very different surnames, both have similar letters and overall sound - especially when combined.

But to get back to your point sweetpeach, I'd agree with Lola... it may be a question of getting used to it. 'Double barrelled' names are reasonably common here. It just depends upon how complex yours really is that will determine how hard it is to cope with.

As for a 'practical' advantage... I suspect there isn't one! 

I work with someone lucky enough to have her maiden name and her married name sound so good together, they just made it into one new last name!  She was "White" and he was "Smith" so now their family name is "Whitesmith."

Doesn't work in every case, obviously, but I think it's kind of cool!

A lot of parents are doing that for their kid's last name these days if the mother never changed her last name.  I think it's kinda cool, personally.  Too bad there was no way to make that work with my name(s).

 

ONE more thing men don't have to  think about... 

ONE more thing men don't have to think about...

 

There's  a British standard, BS8766, on naming. It relates to how names should and could be recorded. I hope you all know the piss is not being extracted by me!!

But check it out...