When Does Start To Feel Like Home?

Can't say I've experienced it myself. More like, 'Can I have this baby now so I can eat again?' (I developed an esophageal ulcer from acid reflux in the 3rd trimester). A ride in an old banger down windy, narrow country roads did the trick.

But I'll take your word for it!

I missed it myself as well, expat - too busy working all the way up until the contractions were 5 minutes apart. 

Babies become teenagers - want to borrow mine?

YES! Take mine as well!

I missed it myself as well, expat - too busy working all the way up until the contractions were 5 minutes apart. 

Sorry to hear your pregnancies were so rough and tough.

My pregnancies were great - I just didn't have the luxury of the time to enjoy them because I was working to support the little darlings when they got here.

I may still grumble about certain things in the UK, but I knew for sure it was home the first time I went back 'home'.  I had been in the UK for two years and upon returning to the US, it felt very alien.  Yes, it was nice to have some of the conveniences that the UK lacks and a few tastes from childhood, but on the whole, the US no longer felt like it was my home.

Several things made me realise I was home. First was like Belindaloo said: giving directions. I love the shocked look I get when they hear my accent. Second when when I stopped having to explain why I was in the UK. I've been here so long that everyone knows why I'm here and they've accepted it (ie, I don't get that annoying question "why on earth would you leave America for the UK?") and thirdly because I now have a good group of friends who I feel like I've been part of forever. They helped me feel more at home.

There are moments when I find myself acutely aware of being non-British, and with them comes a slight sense of disbelonging.  Don’t get me wrong, I’m not suggesting that I wish to obscure the fact that I am an American; quite the contrary.  But as England is our new home, I relish those instances in which one feels as though one fits right in.  Moments in which there has never been a hint of discomfort, and more -- moments in which there is a feeling of perfect serendipitous oneness with this adopted home.

So it was late yesterday evening, as the sun began to set at 9:00, and the landscape was bathed with a warm, golden light so lovely at the dusk of spring and summer days.  The boys had been delightful in their bath, and had been tucked in with two chapters from their beloved Wind in the Willows.  While I had been reading to them, my wife had tidied up the living room, and I came downstairs feeling contentment rather than tiredness at the end of the day.

I fixed myself a healthy measure of Maccalan, and came into the living room -- and there, through the window, saw the late, low light casting a rich honey-coloured alpine glow on the castle and cathedral.  Being Thursday, at 9:00 the cathedral bells began tolling, as the bell ringers engaged in their regular weekly rehearsal.  And as I stood there, warmed from reading steadfast stories to my children and from the malt whisky in my tumbler, looking at my beautiful wife and beyond her, through the window at the landscape of this new land, I experienced the chorale of cathedral bells in harmony with the late evening sun.  This, this now, is home.

     ~ Mark

Ah Mark, thats a really lovely picture of contentment . Its those magical simple times that etch our memories with happiness.

Ah Mark, thats a really lovely picture of contentment . Its those magical simple times that etch our memories with happiness.

I feel that way about DC, I'll be here 2yrs, then I'm off to England. I feel like I just got settled about a year ago and now I'm off to settle somewhere else. The good part about that is that I have options when I return and it won't feel alien to me if my brit bf decides to come back to the states w/ me at some point - I have at least 3-4 places that I know fairly well and have ties to ppl there.

I'm looking forward to learning a new place in another country and eventually being able to give directions or share some of the bargain places to shop or the best chippy.

I posted this just this morning another message board - where I just about live:

This is from a story in More magazine.  The author writes about a life changing decision – leaving behind her beautiful comfortable home by the Mississippi river in Illinois for a tiny little apartment in Manhattan.  The significance of moving on, making changes and decisions in life, and how it’s all good in the end.


But this is what I did:  I jumped.  That’s how it feels sometimes, that I gathered myself, and limbs springing, jumped from a life I knew to a life I’m still discovering.  I once held onto that beautiful house like an anchor, not realizing that anchors can sink you just as easily as they can keep you from bobbing away.  For all the days that I long for the certainties of my old life, I also find myself stealthily collecting the moments that will soon add up to the new one.  ~ by Katherine Lanpher


I can’t tell you how this woman’s story has resonated with me.  Since I read it the first time, four nights ago, I’ve read this one paragraph every night before I fall asleep.  I will also be jumping soon.  From a life I’ve always known, comfortable, predictable and pleasant.  Into a life that will be a complete adventure from end to end.  I still, and I’m sure will continue to, waver between total excitement and happiness to total freak-out-anxiety and fear.  But I know that in the end – it’s all good.

~Liza

  I still, and I’m sure will continue to, waver between total excitement and happiness to total freak-out-anxiety and fear. Liza

Glad I'm not the only one!!

I feel that way about DC, I'll be here 2yrs, then I'm off to England. I feel like I just got settled about a year ago and now I'm off to settle somewhere else.

That's like I had just been in Florida 6+ years & was really settling down -- decent job, good group of friends, etc.  And now just look at me!

But this is what I did:  I jumped.  That’s how it feels sometimes, that I gathered myself, and limbs springing, jumped from a life I knew to a life I’m still discovering.  I once held onto that beautiful house like an anchor, not realizing that anchors can sink you just as easily as they can keep you from bobbing away.  For all the days that I long for the certainties of my old life, I also find myself stealthily collecting the moments that will soon add up to the new one.  ~ by Katherine Lanpher

Liza~ Thank you for sharing this very appropriate passage. I just printed out two copies; one for my fridge and one for my cubby at work for those moments of complete terror that occasionally sneak up on me.

Oh Mark, You are a beautiful writer.
I can't wait to get home again. This time forever!

Hey Ya'll:
Both of those descriptions of contentment were really amazing.  Are you sure you two haven't won Pulitzers or something???  The thing that strikes me about them is that they are filled with factual images and few (if any) judgments about things. 

I think that's important to point out because we find differences between living in our countries every day.  And wherever there is difference there is a natural tendency for people to judge those differences.  I think your descriptions are great examples of how not placing a value (good or bad) on differences you come across - can lead to a sense of contentment.  For many people, I think that sense of contentment is very close to the feeling of "home".

Thanks for sharing those images!
Stephan