transatlantic pregnancy (the really sad sequal)

it just tears my heart to pieces when i think of haveing to explain someday why baby's father isn't around.
no one deserves that.
period.

You're right about that.  No one deserves a father who beat his/her mom, either. 

You're keeping positive and that's no bad thing.  Are there any support groups for single moms in your area?  Unfortunately, it's not an uncommon scenario.  My best friend raised her daughter as a single mother, with a lot of help from her family, and she's one of the most delightful, well-adjusted young women I've met.  She never met her biological father, and tbh it was better she didn't.  He's a real waste of space.  He did try to get in touch with her - when she was 18 - but she told him she wasn't interested in meeting him. 

His loss.

You're right about that. No one deserves a father who beat his/her mom, either.

You're keeping positive and that's no bad thing. Are there any support groups for single moms in your area? Unfortunately, it's not an uncommon scenario. My best friend raised her daughter as a single mother, with a lot of help from her family, and she's one of the most delightful, well-adjusted young women I've met. She never met her biological father, and tbh it was better she didn't. He's a real waste of space. He did try to get in touch with her - when she was 18 - but she told him she wasn't interested in meeting him.

His loss.

i'm looking into support groups.
at the moment i'm just sort of letting one foot follow the other.
so many choices and only 20 weeks left!!

i may write to his mother although she expressed no interest when i was there to see what she says now.
i have a hard time believing she won't want to know her grandbaby.

too many single mothers in the world...
that's what i think.

The best to you and the baby.

Ah best of luck for you and your future.

I say just get yourself sorted out ..you don't need any more stress and emotional battling. Get settled and in a stable situation (find support , don't be afraid to ask for help from your family , etc.)

I had to deal with a dad that wanted nothing to do with me because I was involved with a white english guy and pretty much was disowned ..we didn't speak for nearly two years soon after I had jess I wrote. Told him how I felt (how happy I was ) and look at the picture enclosed and what he was going to miss and how I wanted for him to be involved but would completely accept if he still wanted nothing to do with me (Us) About 6 months later I got a parcel from him and we are on speaking terms.

The point of my babble is that perhaps a bit of time apart maybe will cool things off and give everyone time reflect.

on a side note :

I smell a virtual baby shower ..anyone game 

GREAT idea, Alicia!  Esther, do you know the baby's sex yet? 

i don't !
i missed my 20 week scan by one day.
he couldn't wait to be free of responsibility... 

you know i was just thinking -
something he has always said that should have clued me into what i was dealing with:
"i can't afford to give what i don't have"

being a parent and a partner and daughter and grandaughter and a friend is and always has been about giveing what i can't afford and knowing that sometimes you have to give what you don't have without fear or regret or debt.

i wish i would have been listening.
boo!

Some men will not own to responsibility (and some women too)

It's a hard situation to be in and there is nothing we can say to make things better instantly (I wish I knew believe me ) at the moment you just have to be selfish and think about yourself .....what is best for you and the baby...feck him , he's a t*at for not being supportive . Just focus on getting care , eating well and meeting up with others in your area. There has to be mom and toddler groups ...I know there are places like Gingerbread here but I don't know the equivalent for US...maybe write to the Citizens advice bureau ...maybe they might perhaps be of some help, dunno.

Sorry to hear about this.  I am thinking of you and wishing you the best. 

i wish i knew what to say or what advice to offer..

but, sadly i don't.

i wish you and your baby ALL the best.

neither of you deserve such treatment, EVER. and when the time comes, your child will learn and understand
that YOU did what you HAD to and that their father did NOT want them. it will be hard, but i pray you will have
the support you have now to help you thru that time.

have faith in yourself.. i know its hard as hell sometimes... please take care  xx

i know it's rotten but i got a bit of satisfaction today -
if i have to use public medical etc. one of the terms is that i have to cooperate with tracking babys father.
if he wants to run away they will find him and do paternity tests if need be. 
so in the end he can't really - which allthough spiteful makes me happy.
seeing baby is one thing but refusing to pay for baby's needs is another.
i'm sure that not buying a few records a month won't kill him anywayz..

p.s. do not have children with dj's
that's my advice to all the ladys.
x

 
Good luck with that  and remember to PM I've got baby  stuff from Sure start  (it's cute cool stuff too  ) Baby slings , and stuff. 


fingers crossed for you and the little one.

I am really sorry to hear about your situation but I do want to offer you my support and story.

39 years ago my mum found out she was pregnant with me and promptly walked out on my father. He had been violent, verbally and emotionally abusive due to alcohol, and had gone so far as to put a gun to her head and threaten to kill her. He was ridiculously possessive and she had to go down to the corner gas station to put on her make-up before work, and then take it off again before going home or he would get nasty. When she discovered her pregnancy, she said she could not bear to think about raising me in that environment and she left. She did not allow me to have contact with him growing up, and he only made 1 or 2 half-hearted attempts that I know about. (Never paid her a penny in support either!) I did know my grandfather and a few aunties, but my father was out of the picture. She said that I could make up my mind about what kind of person he was after I grew up.

Truthfully, it was hard as a kid because I wondered about him a LOT, and she was rather close lipped about him. In retrospect though, I have NOTHING but respect for her courage to do what she did and I know I am better off for not having been exposed to that type of craziness. It was not easy on her and I know it won't always be easy on you. But you CAN do this and it may work out better in the long run. I'll keep you in my good thoughts and I wish you loads of blessings.

Courtney