How do you manage your Christmases?

David & I have been thinking about this a lot, especially now that we're going to have our own child. For the last 3 years we've spent Christmas day with his family in England and my US family always has our Christmas on New Years Eve (3 brothers, my mom decided long ago to move the Smith Christmas ack so that us kids could have Christmas on our own or with in-laws) - - - but now everything changes. And we're working on a plan, depends on how flexible everyone else will be! We know eventually we'll stop fluttering about so much on Christmas and probbaly just have our own, but not for a while. This will be, after all, my In Law's first grandchild!

SO.... how do all of YOU do your Christmases, accommodating the international family thing?

We can't even think about flying back to the States for Christmas holidays - even if it's just me and the boys we're talking about tonnes of £'s.  We have our own Christmas morning, then go to the in-laws' for an early dinner.  We call my mother from there (One-Tel rules!) and all take turns talking to her.  It's the best we can do, really.  :-/

We generally do Christmas in Scotland with the in-laws, etc.  

Since most of the US part of the family is spread out anyway, we try to all get together for Thanksgiving and do Christmas on the Saturday after.  We decorate the tree, do carols, make cookies, and have presents.  That way, there's no shipping gifts, and half of it is over with early.  And we can then all go back and do Christmas with the other sides of our families.  It's worked out pretty well for us.

I have to say, when I was part of a military family, I truly loved it because we were always far away and therefore never worried about the stress of travelling and whatnot.  When I moved back home my opinion was I'M the one with the kids and the grandparents have more freedom.  If they want to see the grandkids for Christmas, they can come see me.  Why should I dress my kids up, cart them all over, and put them in a situation that will, for them, be stressful.  I just didn't think it was worth it.  I'd rather have them wake up in their own beds and come down to their own tree and sit at their own table.  

Just my, as always, opinionated thoughts.

Well I'm still living in the states so it's not even close to the same but my mom lives a few hours drive from me AND my parents are divorced so I still have to do the Christmas juggling act.

I have Christmas day with just the kids at home and then usually a couple days after Christmas or sometimes even on Christmas Eve if we can all manage to get together then we go to my dad's and stepmother's house for that family gathering. Then on or around New Years we have our family gathering with my mom and her husband. I'm divorced but when I was married that was another family to fit in to the schedule. It still is for my kids. So they end up having Christmas with me and Christmas with their dad and then three different gatherings with all the other family members. It can be tiresome and overwhelming for them at times. :-/

When Tony and I get married I don't know how we'll end up doing things then. I'm already used to not spending the actual holiday with my family except my kids anyway so I don't think it will be a big deal to me if I'm not able to see them right at Christmas but until I'm actually in that situation I won't know.

I've never spent a Christmas holiday with both sets of parents.

When we were in the USA -->

  Christmas Eve we have the big family party with extended family (at my grandma's)
  Christmas Day we celebrate with just me, Andrew, my mom, my dad and my brother.  (And my gran would always pop in later.) (At my mom's)
  Boxing Day was just for Andrew and me.  (At our house)

How it will work here (at least until we have kids)

  Christmas Eve is not specifically for anything.
  Christmas Day is just for Andrew and me (since his parents serve the Christmas Dinner at their church)
  Boxing day is the day we celebrate with his family. (At their house)


I'm not actually worried about celebrating right ON Christmas day.  This year will be the first time we see the other half of the family anytime near Christmas, so we're celebrating with my parents on the 17th of December (our last full day in the States).  

I'm with Elle on the celebrating in our own home once we have kids.  I think it's perfectly acceptable to ask the grandparents to come to you.

Glen and I have been alternating.  2001 he was in NY, last year I was in Belgium and this year we're flying back to NY on December 23!!    Which of course I'm very excited because last year I was in Belgium.  If was the first time in my entire 34 years that I did not spend Christmas Eve with my family.  Which meant, no Italian Christmas Eve Feast with the homemade vino, grappa, the 7 fishes and all the commotion that comes along with it in my family.  It was nice, quiet and intimate in Belgium.  Had a really nice time and it was different for a change.  But a little too small, serene, calm and too much of a picture perfect holiday storybook for my taste.

We decided that we would alternate until little one's pop in.  Once little ones pop in we're staying put for the first couple of years and whomever wants to visit us great!  If not, we'll see them in the summer or whenever!!  Until then it's alternating for us..  Which is fine with me.  'Cause hopefully we'll have a little special announcement to make at Christmas and I'd rather make the announcement live, in-person to my family especially my parents (since this will be "their first") hoopefully soon!!

This will be the 2nd year that I haven't seen my family for Christmas.  Last year we spent it with Russ's folks, and we were able to send presents and then visit my family for my dad's birthday in March - so not too far away after Christmas itself.  This year Russ's parents have talked about wanting to go away and do something on their own, perhaps in France or somesuch, for a neat change.  Since we're going back to see my family for Thanksgiving (Russ's first!), I think we'll bring our presents then.  And then we'll get to just be on our own and do whatever we want on Christmas.  

I'm actually really excited at the prospect of being on our own this year, as the holidays so far have been filled with family.  It'll be nice, to do it on our own and find our own tradition this year.

~Christa

Our First Christmas here we spent the entire day together (our new little family, hehe) ..then spent boxing day with his family.  Last year my parents were here for  Christmas, but we were still went to the in-laws on Boxing Day.  So I guess we are gettin into a routine without realizing it.  

We take Christmas with us. This year we'll be in California...to do some skiing in the mountains, and some touring in the valleys. My son will join us.   Anyone in the family is welcome to join us, such as last year when it was a trip with my in-laws and step children.

OK, I've got to say it.  Christmas just really, um, blows, frankly.  Because it's so expensive to fly at that time of year and because I can't really justify spending that much money for just a week or so.  And because of the whole SNOW factor(it's a four hour drive from the airport to my Mom's house) we stay here.  We've stayed here for the last fourteen years.  
We have Christmas Eve at our house (mainly to spare my MIL the extra work).  And it is all pretty much dictated by what his family like and their traditions, rather than my more laid back family's approach.  Smoked salmon and brown bread and a cheeseboard-while I dream of a snowman shaped cheese ball.  I know that I could make one anyway, but I also know that no-one would eat it.
Then on Christmas day, we open presents here and wait till exactly 11:00, then we go to his Mother's for a VERY traditional English Christmas.  I'm not willing to take that on because mine wouldn't be perfect enough if you know what I mean.  
Then Boxing day is actually for us.  The kids open presents from my parents and other people, we play games watch old tv movies and the last couple of years I've been cooking a smaller turkey and my Mom's stuffing.  
I don't call my family on Christmas.  Usually they move around too much and I hate the whole 'pass the phone to the 2 year old and the dog' thing.  My Mom usually calls me late on Christmas, when she gets home or on Boxing Day when she gets up.

I don't call my family on Christmas.  Usually they move around too much and I hate the whole 'pass the phone to the 2 year old and the dog' thing.

Haha, I know exactly what you mean.  My sister is the Queen of that.  What's irritating is she'll let her kids babble on the phone for 15 minutes.  They then usually wind up just setting the phone down somewhere.

Anyway.. I'm still living in the states, but this will be my first Christmas in 3 years here.  I've actually spent the past few years with Sean and his family.  I'm not able to take 2 weeks off work to fly back there, so Sean will come here with me.  

Obviously I'm glad we'll be with each other for Christmas, but it won't feel the same without being in England.  Watching the darts and snooker, Christmas Crackers, and all of that.  It'll just be he and I over at my mom's.  

Not sure once I live there, what we'll do for Christmas.  We'll most likely spend it over at his mom's house until we have a family of our own.  That's a few years away though.